The One You Love Will Make You Weep
by only-because3
Summary: This story starts while at the Basketball banquet. Lucas wants Brooke back and she wants him back as well, but so much has passed between them, will they get back to how they were? BL. Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone. This idea popped into my head while I was listening to a song (Year of the Cat by Al Stewart) and reading some new spoilers. I'm pretty proud of this chapter. I will make this in to a story, I feel really strong about this storyline and I hope y'all like it! I have a few chapters of this story written( 10 to be exact) so I'll post those if I get reviews, if not this'll be a one shot.Remember reviews AWESOME!

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

She exited out of the ballroom into the rainy night. This wasn't how she thought her senior year would be. She never thought she would break up with Lucas only to later go to the Basketball Banquet with him. Or that she'd sit next to Peyton and be civil to her despite the fact that she had slapped her. Or that she'd feel so crappy after sleeping with her teacher, who cheated on her as well. Or that coming with Lucas to this banquet didn't mean **being** with Lucas and that is as bad as not having Lucas at all.

"Brooke?" he asked as he saw her back to him. She was sitting on a bench looking out towards the field, just watching the rain fall. Her shoulders dropped and he could tell that she had just released a huge sigh. She knew it was him and as much as she wanted to turn around she didn't. She was just _so_ tired of it all. He walked over and slowly sat down next to her.

She had goose bumps on her arms and shoulders. She had left her wrap inside leaving her in her silk halter dress that cut off just below her knees. He took off his jacket and started to put it on her shoulders.

"Don't." she said shrugging it off. It was the first time she acknowledged he was there. "I'm not cold."

"Brooke," he sighed, "you have goose bumps all over you and you look like you're about to start shaking. Just take the jacket."

She let out another sigh, knowing that he was right. She nodded slowly and that's all he needed. He put the jacket on her shoulders and she put her arms through the sleeves.

"Thank you." she said with a tight mouth. She didn't want to talk to him. At all. He claimed that he didn't like or love Peyton. Despite the fact he was very close with her after her whole stalker fiasco. And Brooke had accepted this. But she saw Peyton and Lucas looking pretty cozy when they were talking earlier when she had excused herself to go to the bathroom. She saw the look that he got in his eye. It was the same way her used to look at her.

"Why are-"

"Don't even try and act stupid. You know why I'm out here and you know why I'm sad and tired and you know why I am giving you the cold shoulder." Brooke snapped.

"I'm sorry Brooke." He didn't know what else to say.

" You know what I'm **really** tired of? Hearing you say 'I'm sorry'. Get a new line Lucas, I'm tired of hearing that one."

"What do you want me to say Brooke? That I fucked up? 'Cause I did, I know that. I should have never kissed Peyton, any of the times that I did. I can't love her like I love you. We don't love each other Brooke. It could never work with me and her." If this didn't work, then he would give up. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to. If this didn't break through her hard exterior nothing would. He couldn't figure out how to get it through to her. That she was it for him. He had no doubt in his mind about that.

He looked out at the rain, figuring that looking at her wouldn't do any good. She had kept her gaze out towards the field, not looking at him once during this whole conversation. He didn't look back at her until he heard her sobbing.

He looked at her, surprised. She was crying. And not just small tears. Her face was soaked. Her makeup already running down her face.

"Brooke," he said, about to hug her.

"Please Lucas. Just don't."

"Brooke, I need you to tell me that you still love me. That I'm not fighting a lost cause."

She turned to look at him, disgust on her face. "You need me to tell you if I still love you? Do you really think I'm over you? Of course I still love you, Lucas! What hurts is that you saved Peyton again! You have been there for her so much more than you have been there for me when we were dating. You say you don't love her Lucas but I can't believe that. I see the way you look at her. I'd give _anything_ for you to look at me like that again. You told me that I wasn't the girl for you and now you're basically saying I am again? Make up your mind, Lucas! Because I can't take much more of this." Brooke said. Her voice wasn't filled with anger, and the disgust in her voice was lost after the second sentence. She just sounded sad. She sounded sad and she looked sad.

Lucas looked at her helplessly, unable to think of anything to say. Then, the gym door opened to reveal Peyton. Brooke looked at her then back at Lucas who was still silent.

"Go be with her, Lucas." she said as she handed him his jacket.

"Brooke..." he started to say.

"Just go Lucas." Brooke sighed as she walked out towards the field, in the cold rain. And he stayed sitting there, on a bench outside of the banquet as Peyton looked at him and Brooke. He sat there contemplating what to do. Whether to go after her or to give up.

She had broken him, just as he had broken her. Is this what they were meant to do? To live amongst eachother, knowing that they love eachother but never acting upon it because of the pain they bring one another.

"Lucas?" Peyton had asked as Lucas sat there, watching Brooke get smaller and smaller as she walked away.

Lucas just shook his head and sat there. Not going back inside with Peyton. But not going after Brooke either. Just sitting there, watching his love walk away.


	2. A Bad Dream

Hey ya guys! Thank you all SOOOOOOOO much for the reviews! Well, I always think my writing goes downhill after my first chapter, so I'm not as happy with this chapter but I'm happy enough to post it. I've been listening to 'A Bad Dream' by Keane, so it's influenced my writing for this chapter and will be a BIG part of the next chapter. As of right now the next chapter(or 2 chapters not too sure yet) are going to be mainly reflective chapters before Brooke and Lucas have anymore dialogue together. And then ending might disappoint you guys but I had to go with it. So I've rambled enough as it is. Here's your next chapter, and reviews are LOVE!!

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :(

"I can't believe I started to give him another chance." Brooke mumbled to herself as she walked in the rain. She had ditched her shoes about a block back. Once she realized that she had came with Lucas and that going back wasn't an option, she started walking. She wasn't sure if she was walking home,er to Rachel's, or to just some random place that she hadn't figured out yet. Her make up, hair, and dress were ruined by the rain and her shoes didn't look too salvageable either. Her feet were starting to hurt, not from the walking but from stepping on small rocks and twigs.

She probably looked crazy to the people who drove past her. But as of right now she didn't care. She had too much on her mind. He didn't even chase after her. He had said he loved her but didn't follow. What was his deal???

Lucas sat on his bed typing away at his computer. He'd been home for an hour, leaving shortly after the banquet ended. He was typing up the whole debacle with Brooke. Ever since he watched her walk away, he replayed the conversation in his head.

_You need me to tell you if I still love you? ..._

_Of course I still love you, Lucas!..._

_I see the way you look at her. I'd give anything for you to look at me like that..._

_Make up your mind, Lucas!..._

_Go be with her, Lucas..._

He had been so enthralled in his thoughts that he didn't hear the door open. He only noticed that she was in the room when she spoke.

"Why didn't you chase after me? Why didn't you fight for me?" a dripping Brooke asked as she stood in his doorway.

"What are you talking about?" Lucas asked. He couldn't believe she was standing there in front of him after their previous conversation.

"You didn't follow me Lucas. You didn't follow me when I broke up with you." Brooke sobbed. "You just sat there in your room in front of that fucking laptop," she motioned angrily at the laptop that sat in front of him now, "and watched me walk away! Watched me walk away from you!"

She was angry now. Angry and sad all at the same time. Sad that he broke her heart. Angry that he still had the pieces.

"And you didn't chase after me tonight, when I walked away from you. You just sat there and for all I know went back inside with Peyton. You sat there and watched me walk out of your life again! Why didn't you follow me? If you love me as much as you say you do, then you would have followed! If you loved me more than her you would have followed!!"

He sat there, again unsure of what to say. Exactly like he had done earlier that night. She kept saying all these things that he should have responses to, **strong** responses, but each time he came up with nothing.

"All I'm asking is why. Can you answer me that simple question Luke?" she pleaded, still standing in the door way.

He waited before he answered. But not so long that she would get fed up and walk away. But he was definatly going to think before he spoke.

He couldn't answer why. Tonight he was just so overwhelmed and tired like she was. As for the night she broke up with, he didn't have an answer. He didn't know why he didn't chase after her.

But that was a lie in a way. He knew why he didn't chase after her. She told him that she stopped missing him. That she basically stopped wanting to be in the relationship.

"Was Peyton a reason you broke up with me?" Big. Fucking Mistake.

"Did those words actually come out of your mouth?!" Brooke yelled.

"Brooke, when you broke up with me, you pretty much said that you didn't want to be in this relationship anymore. You said you stopped missing me and that **you** couldn't do **this**," he motioned in between them, " anymore. That's why I didn't chase after you."

"I can understand that Luke, but why not tonight? After you said you loved me. Why didn't you follow? Why did you stay back with Peyton? Why did you tell me I wasn't the girl for you?" Brooke cried.

"I..." Lucas, again was stuck. He didn't have answers to these questions. But he did, he just wasn't sure if he could tell her.

"Let me in Lucas! I know you have all these thoughts you just wont say them!!" Brooke yelled as her shoulders drooped even more.

"Brooke, I just..." this was getting old quick.

"Lucas... just... just forget it." Brooke sighed as she turned to leave.

"PLease don't leave Brooke." Lucas said as he arose from his place across the room.

"So I can what? Listen to you start to say something and stop?" He knew she was right. They weren't going to get anywhere tonight, especially with him not answering any of her questions.

"Maybe it'd be better if we just didn't associate anymore." Brooke said sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't be friends with you Luke. When you can let me in, we'll talk." she said as she walked out the door, back into the rain. She was walking away from him, again.

And he knew already, that he wasn't going to follow her.


	3. Wrong Choice

Hey people! I decided to be nice and post TWO chapters in a day because I don't know if I'll be able to update tomarrow. So, I'm pretty happy with this chapter, and it may seem all scattered and it might clash with some of the stuff I've already written but it's totally intentional. The next chapter will mainly focus on Brooke and kind of go back to when she left Lucas's house, and her journey to school and what not. Umm, the lyrics I used in this chapter are "Wrong Choice" by The Lovely Feathers and "All at Once" by The Fray. There is some strong language in this chapter! Reviews are LOVE! So, without further ado, the next chapter!

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

Lucas laid in his bed listening to his ipod, hands under his head, staring at the ceiling. Why in God's name did he **not** chase after her, AGAIN? But, possibly an even bigger question, why had he already known he wasn't going to before she left?

_You made the wrong choice_

_You made the wrong choice_

Lucas quickly changed the song, deciding that having The Lovely Feathers not mock him would be better.

_There are certain people_

_You just keep coming back to_

She had told him they were COMPLETELY, 110 done. As in, not even friends. He hadn't seen it coming, but needless to say, he didn't blame her.

_She is right in front of you._

_You begin to wonder _

_Could you find a better one_

_Compared to her now _

_She's in question._

It was true, he had doubted his feelings for Brooke before. When they first started going out he didn't love her, he knew that. It was only when he lost her that he really wanted her. He wanted what he couldn't have.

_And all at once the crowd begins to sing_

_Sometimes the hardest thing and _

_The right thing are the same._

He knew he had to let her go. It was hard as hell, but she had obviously given up. That question still plagued his mind though. Or, probably more correctly, questions.

_Maybe you want her_

_Maybe you need her_

_Maybe you started to compare _

_To someone not there._

Had he given up before Brooke had? He knew that he wasn't going to follow her. He didn't follow her the first time, he had told her that he was done. He wasn't sure if he believed that anymore. He said he was done but it was a lie. But things had changed now, and he wasn't too sure if he felt the same.

_Looking for the right one_

_You line up the world to find_

_Where no questions cross your mind._

_But she won't keep on waiting for_

_You without a doubt_

_Much longer for you to sort it out._

He knew he still cared for Brooke and to say that he didn't love her anymore would be a lie. But he wasn't sure if those feelings were as strong as they had been. He hadn't called her when he left town. He missed her but didn't do anything. He didn't act upon what he wanted to do. Maybe he had only wanted her so much during junior year was because he hadn't had her. That he stopped wanting her because he had her.

_Maybe you want it_

_Maybe you need it_

_Maybe it's all you're running from_

_Perfection will not come._

And then, there was the Peyton issue. He'd never had Peyton either. He had still wanted Peyton when she had broke it off to try and salvage her friendship with Brooke. They had never really had a chance to see if things could work between them. So, if he did only want Brooke because he couldn't/can't have her, does that mean that's why he wants Peyton?

_And all at once the crowd begins to sing_

_Sometimes_

_We'd never know what's wrong without the pain_

_Sometimes the hardest thing and _

_The right thing are the same._

"Fucking Fray," Lucas mumbled as he switched the song yet again. The song was confusing him even more. Was the 'she' in the lyrics Brooke or Peyton? He knew how the song ended, it ended with the girl leaving him in the end. Did that make it Brooke? He decided that the 'she' was in fact Brooke, but that didn't change the fact that thoughts of Peyton were still swirling in his head.

Lucas sat up in his bed, leaning against the headboard. He wanted Brooke back more than anything. But he couldn't say that he didn't want Peyton either. He'd always save Peyton, they were friends, but did he always want to be the one to save her? To protect her from the big bad world, to save her from the monsters that plagued her life.

"Shit!" Lucas yelled quietly.

He wanted to do all of those things for her. He wanted to be that guy for her. Did this mean he wanted to be with Peyton in a more-than-friends way?

He wanted to be that guy for Brooke too, but he never saved her. She never needed saving. Brooke was strong and independent. She could take care of herself. She knew what she wanted and she knew how to get it.

Lucas sighed to himself realizing he was probably more confused now than he was before Brooke had left. Before Brooke left, he had been sure he loved Brooke and only Brooke. But, Brooke, being that wonderful girl, laid everything on the line. Called him on his crap, and told him to figure his shit out.

"Hello class. Now, I'm going to be gone for the rest of the week. And until the school can find a proper substitute, you're stuck watching a movie. Yes, I know, please try to contain your excitement." Nick aka Mr.Chavez announced after the bell had wrung.

Peyton was slumped in the middle of all the rows, head down reading a book. She could care less as to whether or not the teacher was going to be gone. She'd gone to sleep with an uneasy feeling last night. She knew she had walked in on something obviously emotional going on between Brooke and Lucas but all in all the night went rather well. She was talking with Lucas _and_ Brooke. Brooke had made a nice friendly conversation with her. It was scary, considering they had bitched each other out quite the bit, but after the whole scary stalker Derek fiasco, she wanted her best friend back.

Sure Lucas was her friend, and possible love of her life, and she did have Derek, her REAL brother, but he wasn't always around. And Haley had enough to deal with considering Nathan had been in the accident, she was pregnant, and probably had a whole bunch of other problems going on that she couldn't possibly throw all her problems on Haley.

She missed a girl to hang out with. She missed the girl who has known her for 10 years. Who she survived 2 dead mothers and 3 absentee parents with. She missed the person she could tell ANYTHING to. She missed the girl who had helped her deal with her coke "habit".

Yes, that's right, "habit". She had done the coke with Rick. She was tempted to the night of the Winter Formal. She had told Brooke, Haley, Anna, and herself that she wasn't going to do it again. Yet, there she was one night. Crying because Jake was still gone, crying, possibly, because Lucas didn't love her, because somebody wrote 'Dyke' on her locker, crying because her dad had postponed his trip another MONTH out of the 3 he had already been gone.

So, she had found some coke that Rick had dropped off at her house, along with some bands, put it on a hand mirror and cut it with her student ID. She rolled up a dollar bill she had in her wallet and laid it all on her bed. She had 3 lines all out in front of her. She leaned down and quickly snorted one.

She leaned down again, ready to do another line, when Brooke walked in.

"PEYTON!" Brooke yelled as she looked at Peyton. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

Brooke wasn't one to yell. Peyton had only ever heard her yell once before that moment. When her parents didn't let her go over to Peyton's on the first anniversary of her mom's death. It was one of the rare times they were home and acting like parents. She had screamed and yelled and ran out of the house over to Peyton's. She had put all her shit aside and just focused on keeping Peyton happy on that one day. She hadn't even yelled at her when she found out about her and Lucas the first time. Of course, Peyton later heard Brooke yell at her as well, but that's not important right now.

Brooke had stayed with her that whole night. She had flushed the coke and searched through everything making sure there wasn't anymore left in the house. She had kept Rick away when he had stopped by. When she finally did go home 5 days later, she was always near her cell phone in case Peyton were to call in a moment of weakness, which happened 2 times later that month.

Only now did Peyton realize how much she threw away. Yes, Lucas was important as fuck to her, but he didn't know about the cocaine. He didn't know that she locked herself in her room for 3 weeks after her mom died. He didn't know that she used to be afraid of the ocean because Brooke and her had watched Jaws one summer and she was convinced she was going to get eaten. He didn't know that her first and only dog was named "Pepperoni" or that her and Brooke always used to spend their time down by the bridge.

She had given all of that up for a boy. She didn't know if he'd done cocaine or what he did when her first found out Dan was his father or if he was ever afraid of the ocean. She didn't know anything like that about him. And these seem like so many minor things, but they can mean the world to someone.

Then, her mind was filled with questions. Did this make her a bad friend? Did this make Brooke a bad friend? Lucas and Haley had gone through a similar situation, but then again, Lucas wasn't lusting after Nathan or Haley.

Peyton was pulled out of her thoughts by the classroom door slamming shut.

"Miss Davis your late."

A disheveled Brooke sent him a glare and he backed off, knowing that she could do a hell of a lot of harm to him. Brooke went and sat down behind Peyton, mumbling what could only be interpreted as 'asshole'. Brooke seemed irritated and didn't seem very together which was pretty rare for Brooke. Even if she didn't feel all put together, she would always put on a mask for school.

Peyton decided to take a chance.

"Brooke? Are you okay?" Peyton asked once she turned around to look at Brooke.

Brooke looked up at her with her slightly puffy eyes. "Yeah. I'm fine." Brooke said in a mono tone voice. She wasn't sure if she was mad at Peyton still. Well, she was mad at Peyton still, but less. She could actually have a conversation with her now.

Peyton was about to be bold and ask another question when the door slammed shut again. Both Brooke and Peyton looked up to see Lucas.

"I just got transferred in." Lucas said to Nick. He motioned to a seat in the corner of the room, about 2 rows away from Brooke and Peyton. Lucas turned to look to the seat that had been motioned to, to realize that Peyton and Brooke were in this class.

Silently, all 3 muttered "Crap."


	4. Pretty Girl

Hey all! thanks for the reviews!!! they mean a lot! Not as proud of this chapter but i needed to get it out of the way. Lyrics are "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch and "Pretty Girl" by Strays Don't Sleep. Reviews +LOVE!!! NExt chapter will be better and have more interaction.

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

_Of all the things I've believed in_

_I just want to get it over with_

_Tears form behind my eyes_

_But I do not cry_

_Counting the days that pass me by_

"Maybe it'd be better if we just didn't associate anymore." She couldn't believe she had said it. She really didn't want to stop talking to him. She loved him so much it hurt. But, she had been thinking so much on the way over there, it was the only logical thing that came to her mind. She had decided to cut off all ties with Lucas, so, in order to get it over with she went to Lucas' and had tried to hold back the tears.

_I've been searching deep down in my soul_

_Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old_

_It feels like I'm starting all over again_

_The last three years were just pretend_

_And I said,_

He always brought up Peyton. He always started to say something, always started to open up before he closed himself up. When they had first gone out she had kept a lot of her issues bottled up, never really letting one in. Why couldn't he do he same with her? Why couldn't he trust her enough to just let her in?

Tomorrow was going to be hard. She'd try with all she had not to look at Lucas, pretend that there relationship never happened. That they never befriended each other. Of course, that'd be a little hard considering she was close with Haley and Haley was obviously going to need both of them during the course of her pregnancy.

_Goodbye to you_

_Goodbye to everything I thought I knew_

_You were the one I loved_

_The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

'Is it me? Am I like Peyton and make people go away, or in my case, make people fuck with my head?' Brooke thought as she walked into Rachel's/her room. Lucas was the only guy she ever had a relationship with, the only one she ever cared about, the only guy she ever loved. She always loved waking up the next morning and just being in his arms. Before he came along, she'd sleep with a guy and then when he passed out, she'd get dressed and go, she hated the morning after. But, because of Lucas, she thrived for it.

_I still get lost in your eyes_

_And it seems that I can't live a day without you_

_Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away_

_To a place where I am blinded by the light_

_But it's not right_

She had thought about him everyday. Everyday since she had broken up with him. And every time they talked she found herself wanting to just lean over and kiss him. Or to just be in his arms. When he hugged her for the first time after they broke up, she hadn't even realized that she had leaned into his arms, grateful that he was there and hugging her.

_And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time_

_I want what's yours and I want what's mine_

_I want you_

_But I'm not giving in this time_

Brooke didn't even realize that she had started crying. God, she had cried too much today. Her eyes were going to be puffy as hell tomorrow.

She came so close to giving in too. To finally just be with him, but she knew she couldn't. He hurt her too much and left her with so much doubt in there relationship.

And besides, like everyone still knew, he was in love with Peyton. It just took him the longest to figure that out.

_Goodbye to you_

_Goodbye to everything I thought I knew_

_You were the one I loved_

_The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

_The one thing that I tried to hold on to_

Brooke woke up early the next morning, her face still wet with tears. She reluctantly got up and looked over at the clock. 7:52.

"Damn it!" Brooke said as she looked over at Rachel's bed that was already made.

"Ug, whore couldn't even wake me up." Brooke mumbled as she quickly got into the shower. By 8:05, she was out of the house and finally on her way to school. Her hair was still slightly wet, but thank god her puffy eyes seemed to be less puffy, even without concealer.

On the way to school, Brooke checked her voicemail, finding one from Haley.

"Hey, I'm just calling to see how you are and if you made it home okay. Luke said you took off after you went outside. Did Lucas do something again? Is that why you left? Never mind, we can talk about it over lunch tomorrow. Call me as soon as you get this Tigger, so I can stop worrying. Love ya! Bye."

Brooke smiled. Haley was going to be a great mom. Haley would be in class right now so hopefully her cell would be off, or at least on silent.

"Hey Tutor girl," Brooke said after the beep, " sorry I didn't get your voicemail last night. I'm fine, obviously, and I'm sorry you were worrying. I'll talk to you when I get to school. Love ya Hales, bye!"

Brooke hung up her phone and drove the rest of the way to school silently, the radio the only thing making noise. About a block a way from school a song came on the radio that hit pretty close to home.

_There's a pretty girl sitting next to me_

_And you know that I'd love to believe_

_That that pretty girl sitting next to me_

_Was all mine_

'No fucking way. I have been fine all fucking morning! Why the hell did this song have to come on?' Brooke thought as she parked her car.

_There's a pretty girl staring back at me_

_And you know that I'd love to believe_

_That that pretty girl staring back at me _

_Was all mine_

Despite Brooke's best efforts, tears started streaming down her face. It was just too much. Too much for today. The stupid radio decided to taunt her on the day she had to start ignoring Lucas.

Brooke quickly turned off the radio and dried her tears. She checked the little make up she had on in her rear view mirror, also making sure her eyes weren't too puffy. They'd swelled back up a little but not too much.

Brooke looked at the clock which read 8:15. Brooke quickly got out of the car and ran the best she could in her new boots, to English. Not only did she have to face Lucas today, but also her cheating English teacher who she just happened to sleep with.

"Miss Davis, you're late."

Brooke shot him a death glare and he immediately backed off. She then proceeded to give him a 'That's what I thought' look as she walked to her desk, keeping her head down a bit.

"Asshole." Brooke muttered under her breathe as she slipped in the seat behind Peyton.

'Damn it! Did I piss off the Gods or whatever? Why must this day be so difficult!?' Brooke thought realizing she also had Peyton in this class.

"Brooke? Are you okay?" Peyton asked looking at her.

Brooke looked up, wiping underneath her eyes making sure the didn't seem too puffy.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Brooke responded. She didn't feel like spilling her guts to Peyton considering that she was also part of her issues.

Peyton had already opened her mouth when the door slammed shut again. Both Brooke and Peyton looked up to see Lucas.

"I just got transferred in." Lucas said to Nick. He motioned to a seat in the corner of the room, about 2 rows away from Brooke and Peyton. Lucas turned to look to the seat that had been motioned to, to realize that Peyton and Brooke were in this class.

Silently, all 3 muttered "Crap."


	5. Goodbye to You

Hey all! So, I've decided to update 2 times in a day so your caught up with other sites. Anywho I'm pretty proud of this chapter! Hope y'all like it too, and I can't wait to see your reactions to this! I think y'all might have some strong ones to this. So, next chapter, i got some things cooking. Remember, reviews +LOVE!

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

Lucas walked past both girls not looking at either one. Peyton and Brooke's eyes followed him as he walked, although Brooke had to look away before he sat down, tears threatening to spill from her eyes again.

_He shouldn't have these effects on me. I shouldn't see him and want to cry. It shouldn't be like this_ Brooke thought as a piece of paper was tossed on to her desk.

'_Ummm, hey, I guess.'_

Brooke read the note before she responded, confused as to why Peyton was sending her a note.

'_Hey'_

She passed the note back to Peyton as she tried her hardest not to look back at Lucas. She didn't want to look back because she could feel him looking at her. Well, her or Peyton. One of the 2.

'_Look, I'm REALLY sorry about what I said Brooke. And I'm really sorry about walking in on whatever the hell I walked in on last night. I just... I want my best friend back.'_

Brooke laughed to herself inside as she read the note. That's a good one.

'_I know you're sorry Peyton. But sorry doesn't change the fact that you've kissed my ex-boyfriend TWICE, while we were dating, and have feelings for him. And, to be frank, I'm glad you walked in on what was going on last night, because Lucas was pissing me off, ha ha. But, you know what Peyton, not to be super mean or anything, but I don't want my best friend back. Because my best friend was a bitch.'_

She knew that she deserved it. She wasn't the greatest friend to Brooke. Well, not until Lucas came into the picture. She wasn't sure how to respond to that but then another note came over her shoulder.

'_Meet me in the bathroom at the beginning of 4th period.'_

And with that, the bell wrung and Brooke was the first out of the class. She needed to get the hell out of that room.

Peyton sat there not really understanding what was happening. Brooke was obviously mad at her but to the point where she could have a reasonable conversation with her. But she had kinda told her that she as a shitty friend yet she wanted to meet up in the bathroom.

Lucas walked up to Peyton. "What was that about?" he asked looking down at her.

Peyton just got up shaking her head. "I have no clue." And with that she left Lucas in the room contemplating what he just witnessed.

"Haley! Thank god I have a class with you!" Brooke shouted as she walked into 3rd period. She slumped down into her seat next to Haley. "Did you get my voicemail?"

"Yeah, I just finished listening to it when you came in here." Haley said with a laugh. "You want to talk about it?"

Brooke took a deep breath in and shook her head. "I'm just sick of it Haley. _All_ of it."

Haley nodded and rubbed Brooke's back soothingly. "It'll get better Brooke. I promise." She smiled as Brooke looked at her.

Brooke forced a small smile on to her face. " Thanks Haley. So, what about you? When's your next appointment?"

"Today at 3:30. Are you coming?" Haley asked as she put a hand on her slightly swollen belly.

"Haley, I've gone to every single appointment with you, of course I'm coming." Brooke smiled a real smile now. She loved the fact that Haley was going to be a mom. Plus, Brooke was going to spoil that kid rotten.

"Well I wasn't sure if-"

"Nope, not this week. Next week." Brooke said cutting Haley off before she could go any further.

"Okay. Great." Haley quickly turned the conversation back on her. "So, will you be driving us to my appointment?"

"Why? Is Nathan not coming?"

"He's filling in for me at the cafe and needs a way of getting there. So, he's using the car. Unless it's a problem."

"Of course not! I enjoy coming to these appointments with you Haley! We just usually take your car, that's all." Brooke said. She didn't mind taking them at all. She loved the maternity ward. it was always so... happy, compared to the rest of the hospital.

They went through the rest of class talking about random shit while listening to the teacher. Well, Haley was listening to the teacher. About 5 minutes before the bell, Haley brought it up again.

"Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but... you're going to tell him right?" Haley asked wearily, not wanting to get Brooke mad at her, or worse, make her cry.

"What's there to tell him? It doesn't concern him." Brooke said as she shoved her notebook in her backpack.

"There sure as hell is something to tell him! It concerns him too Brooke! You know it and I know it." Haley said pointing her pen at Brooke, trying to be firm. She knew it was hard for Brooke but how could she NOT tell him! Whether she want's to think it or not, it concerned him just as much as her.

"Haley, right now, there is nothing to tell him. If I told him now and it not be anything then he'll have worried for nothing. Like you are right now. I'm sure it's nothing." Brooke said, trying to convince Haley as well as herself.

"Brooke, this may very well be a false alarm, but it's still something you need to deal with." Haley said as the bell wrung. "Promise you'll talk to him?"

"When I found out for sure." Brooke said as she headed to the bathroom.

"So, why'd you ask me to meet you here?" Peyton asked as Brooke came in.

"We need to talk."

"Obviously."

Brooke took a deep breath in and released it. She leaned against the wall, and repeated her earlier breathing actions.

"Are you okay?"

Brooke nodded, looking at Peyton and giving a little smile. "I'm fine. I just feel a little nasoues."

"Are you sick?" Peyton asked, generally concerned.

"I'm fine Peyt." Brooke said as she looked to the ground. This was hard as hell for her to say. "I want you to date Lucas."

Peyton's head shot up and looked straight at Brooke. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?!" Peyton asked not believing what she was hearing.

"I want you to date Lucas. You have my permission, or blessing or whatever. I want you to go after Lucas and not feel guilty about it." Brooke took in another deep breath and released it. "As for us, we can at least be civil with each other now right? But, we can't be like we used to be. Especially if you date Lucas. It'll just be too hard." Brooke said, finally looking back up at Peyton.

Peyton just stood there, shocked, not sure what to say. "I... I..." Peyton tried to get out. She was speechless.

"So, yeah. I'm going to go." Brooke said as she got off the wall. She looked at Peyton, who's mouth was still open in shock. "Go get him Peyton. Just... take care of him.": Brooke forced another small smile and left the bathroom.


	6. Strong Enough

Hey all! Thanks for the reviews!!! They are what got me to post another chapter today! and if i get a good amount of rviews before I go to sleep i'll post uet another one! I'm sort of dissapointed with this chapter. There is probably a part or 2 that you guys will hate me for, and trust me, one of them was just as hard for me to write as it is for u to read lol. Reviews would be great!!! Next chapter should be up soon!

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

"Wow... I can't believe you having a boy!" Brooke said to Haley as they walked out of the doctor's office.

"I know... it seems so surreal." Haley said as as she put a hand on her belly. " I'm having a baby boy."

"Yep, your having another Scott boy." Brooke said, getting into the car.

"Holy crap Brooke. I'm having a boy." Haley said, lower herself into the car as well. Realization, finally hitting her.

"Overwhelmed?"

"Little bit." Haley laughed as Brooke tried to start her car. Instead of hearing her engine start, she heard nothing but revving.

"What the hell?" Brooke said as she tried it again, this time, they heard a big klunk.

"Well, that didn't sound very good. At all." Haley said looking over at Brooke whose face looked horrified.

"Moe.. what's wrong with you?"

"Moe? You named your car?" Haley asked as they both got out of the car.

" He's my first car! I'm attached!" Brooke said as she lifted up the hood. "He's been through a lot poor guy."

"Do you think us looking at it is going to help?" Haley asked knowing full well that neither of them could do shit about the car.

"No... it was better than just sitting in the car." Brooke said as Haley pulled out her cell phone and started dialing.

"Who are you calling?" Brooke asked.

"Lucas."

"What? Haley... call Nathan, hell call Tim, just don't call Lucas." Brooke whined.

Haley, ignoring Brooke, waited for Lucas to pick up.

"Hello?" Lucas asked.

"Luke, I need you to come pick us up."

"Why? What happened?"

"Well, Brooke drove me to my doctor's appointment and she tried the car twice but it mad a big like... klunk noise, so we need you to come help."

"Alright, I'll bring some tools too, see if I can fix the car while I'm there. See you in a few." Lucas said as he hung up the phone.

"Luke is on his." Haley said happily.

"Haley!" Brooke shouted, stomping her foot.

"Brooke, stop your whining! You're going to have to coexist with him!" Haley said sternly.

"No, Haley, you don't understand! I can not see him right now. We had this fight yesterday where I basically told him that I didn't want to be with him at all anymore. As in not friends or anything! And then I told Peyton to go after him. I don't know if she's spoken to him yet! Haley, I can't do this!" Brooke said panicking.

Haley shrugs. "Guess we'll have to see how it plays out!"

Brooke glares at Haley as Lucas drives up.

"Hey Hales... Brooke." Lucas said somewhat awkwardly when he approached them.

"Hey Luke."

"Hi."

The 3 of them stand there in an uncomfortable silence for a minute until Haley speaks up.

"So Luke, how 'bout you drive Brooke and I to the apartment and then you can come back here and take a look at Brooke's car?" Haley said looking from Luke to Brooke.

"Umm, sure. Is that okay with you?" Lucas asked Brooke.

"It's fine. I'm kinda tired anyway." Brooke yawned.

"Me too. He keeps making me tired." Haley laughed, rubbing her belly.

"He?" Lucas questioned.

Haley nodded, smiling a bit. "You're gonna have a nephew Luke!"

"Haley that's great!" Lucas exclaimed as he pulled Haley into a huge hug.

"Haha, you're more excited than I was." Haley laughed.

" I still can't believe you called him Haley." Brooke said as they walked into the apartment.

"It wasn't that bad! You guys were fine!" Haley said, not seeing it as a big deal.

"Exactly! Haley, how am I supposed to move on when I'm all buddy buddy with him!"

"Maybe your not supposed to move on!" Haley said, walking into the bedroom.

"But, he still loves Peyton, Haley. You and I both know that." Brooke said, following Haley.

They both crawled into bed facing one another. "I just don't get why he can't choose one of you."

"I don't either!" Brooke said, a yawn following. "Let's change the subject."

"Fine." Haley said as she rolled on to her back, yawning as well. "I was reading a pregnancy book, and did you know that your hair thins after you give birth?"

"God, I hope my hair doesn't thin." Brooke said, rolling on to her back.

"Have you had any other symptoms?"

"Other than the nausea and being tired all the damn time? No, not really. My back hurt's a lot and they said that that can also be a symptom." Brooke said quietly.

Haley looked over at Brooke, seeing her frown and tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes.

"It's not a false alarm is it Brooke? They've already told you haven't they?" Haley asked gently. Brooke nodded, biting her bottom lip.

"I don't know what I'm going to do Haley." Brooke said as she looked at Haley, a few tears trailing down her face.

"You'll get through it Brooke. I promise." Haley said. "When did you find out?"

"Last night when I finally got home."

"When are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know if I can Haley. How do you tell someone this?" Brooke cried, yawing a bit.

"I dunno Brooke... I dunno."

"Hey Luke." Peyton said as she walked into Lucas's room.

"Hey Peyton. How are you?" He said as she sat down on his bed next to him.

"Alright. I've been doing some thinking."

"About?"

"Us."

"Oh." Lucas said quietly. He wasn't sure where this was going to go or where he wanted it to go.

"Brooke said she was okay with it. With us." Peyton said looking everywhere but him.

"What?" he asked, clearly shocked.

"Yeah. I met her in the bathroom and she said go for it."

"Really?"

"Yep." Peyton sighed. "Luke, I like you. A lot. I'm pretty sure you already know that though." she said as his hand grabbed hers and squeezed lightly.

"Yeah, I do." Lucas laughed. "And I think I like you too."

They looked at each other for the first time since she came into the room. Slowly, but surely, the leaned towards each other, kissing each other softly.

In just 2 weeks, Brooke's life seemed to have spiraled out of control. She didn't know what she was doing and as for right now, she was working on tying up loose ends.

She had gotten Lucas and Peyton together and she knew that it was for the best. That didn't mean that she wasn't sad about it. She had spent a night or two crying that they were together. She wanted to be with him so badly but she knew that if he knew, he'd throw his life away for her. And she wasn't about to let him do that.

She had a doctor's appointment later today, in which Haley would be coming with her. She'd talk to the doctor about all her options and finally make her decision on what to do.

They'd take her car, which was now all better since Lucas had worked his magic on it. They'd go in to the waiting room, like always and talk about the baby until to doctor called them back. This time Haley would sit right next to Brooke, unlike the other appointments where Haley would sit in the chair across from the table where Brooke sat, and hold her hand, just as Brooke did when Haley found out she was pregnant.

"Brooke?"

She was pulled out of her thoughts and looked up at Peyton.

"Hi Peyton." Brooke replied popping a chip into her mouth.

"How are you?"

"Alright. Tired." Brooke said as she yawned. She looked at the rest of her chips in slight disgust. "Do you want the rest of these?" she asked, holding the bag of chips up to Peyton.

"Sure." Peyton said as she sat down next to Brooke on the bench. "Brooke, I don't want this to be awkward between us."

"I don't want it to be awkward either Peyton, but it is." Brooke said, taking a sip of water.

"Lucas makes me happy Brooke. I finally feel safe for once." Peyton said, eating a chip.

"And I'm glad that you feel that way Peyton. It's just shitty that the guy that makes you feel that way is the guy I love."

Peyton looked down, feeling a bit guilty. She hated the fact that she likes Brooke's guy too, but it's just how she felt. And she was mad that the price of the guy was her best friend.

"But," Brooke said, "If you want, we can hang out this weekend. We can pretend Lucas didn't happen. Just hang out, for a day, like it used to be."

Haley was a great friend, she was, but she didn't know Brooke way back when. Peyton did. And, she did miss Peyton a lot. They had great times together, ones that she knew neither would forget. Even if it was just for a day, she needed to go back to the happier times, before Lucas.

"Really?" Peyton asked, trying to contain her excitement. She was 2 second away from sounding like a 5 year old right after their mother just asked if they wanted to go see Santa at the mall.

"Just for the day." Brooke smiled.

"Is Saturday okay with you?" Peyton asked as they both got up.

"Perfect. I'll call you later with more details."

"Hello Ms. Davis. How are you feeling?" Dr.Chan asked Brooke as she entered the room

"How do you think I'm feeling? I'm in a hospital deciding what I'm going to do with my life." Brooke said, squeezing Haley's hand.

"Sorry, I know this must be hard for you." Dr. Chan said, taking a seat on the small swivel chair.

"That's an understatement." Haley mumbled causing Brooke to laugh a little.

"Is something funny?"

"No, nothing at all." Brooke said as she began to feel a little at ease.

"So, would you like to hear what's going on?" Dr, Chan asked.

Brooke just nodded, any ease she felt before quickly fading.

"Well, as of right now, the cancer is in one ovary. Now, I want to start you on chemotherapy to make sure that the cancer doesn't spread anymore than it does. If we're lucky, then we'll only have to remove one ovary. But, if by some chance it does spread, the safest route would to have a full abdominal hysterectomy. If it does come to that point, then we'd need to put you on estrogen to keep your hormones up. But, we'll talk about that if we need to." Dr. Chan said, trying to smile.

Brooke already had tears streaming down her face, squeezing Haley's hand tight. Haley too had tears in her eyes. It was a horrible thing to hear. Let alone for someone so young.

Here Haley was, 18 and pregnant and Brooke would be lucky if she ever conceived, even with medical help.

"If you are going to treat this, you'll need to start as soon as possible. We'd start chemo tomorrow, that way we'd still have a great chance of keeping it contained. If you don't want to start chemo that's fine. In which case we'd just have to go forward with the surgery."

"If..." Brooke whispered, "if I were to do chemo, would you have to remove the whole ovary?"

"No, we'd only remove the half where the tumor is. You'd still have one full ovary and half of your other. That way you have a better chance of conceiving if and when you do decide to have kids."

Brooke nodded taking everything.

"Let's start the chemo."


	7. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Hey all! Your reviews are AWESOME and have earned you all 3 updates for today lol tomarrow i'll be posting the remander chapters that I have written(which would be 2? or 3 i think), but then you guys have to wait like everyone else for me to write the chapters lol. I am fairly happy with this chapter but I don't know if I like the ending of the brooke/peyton conversation. I needed to have Brooke tell her it just didn't seem right to leave in looming, plus it helps me with the next chapter. Hope you all enjoy it too. So, without further ado, the story:

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing although i put Bryan Greenberg on my Christmas list

"Peyton?" Brooke asked once Peyton said 'Hello'.

"Hey Brooke."

"Can we go shopping later today instead of Saturday? I forgot I had plans on Saturday." Brooke lied. Saturday she had chemo.

"Yeah that's fine. I'll meet you at my house around 4. Then from there we can go to the mall?"

" Yeah, that's fine. Bye." Brooke released a huge sigh

She needed to do this. She still hated Peyton, but if by chance something does happen to her, she wants Peyton's memory of her not be bitchy.

God, she hated herself for thinking/acting like that. She wasn't dead yet. The cancer hadn't spread or gotten bigger. She just had a tumor and as getting it taken care of. She wasn't going to die. She'd get through this. And all Brooke did, all day, was try and believe that this was true. But, Brooke had cancer, and she knew as well as everyone else did, that cancer kills.

"Hey Luke." Haley said as Lucas walked into the cafe. "What's up?"

"I have some... news."

"Um, okay? What would this news be?" Haley asked, clearing a table.

"I'm... kinda dating Peyton."

"I'm sorry," Haley laughed, "I thought you said you were dating Peyton."

"I am." Lucas said seriously.

"What?" Haley asked, stopping everything she was doing to look Lucas straight in the eye. "But didn't you tell me, what was it a week ago, that you were in love with Brooke?"

"Brooke and I had a conversation and she put some things in perspective for me." Lucas said. "It doesn't mean that I don't love Brooke anymore, 'cause I still do. I'll always love Brooke, but I still have feelings for Peyton."

Haley stared at him, not sure what to say. She wanted to scream that he was killing Brooke by doing this and hit him but she knew she couldn't.

"And besides, Brooke has always been insecure about our relationship because of Peyton. So, if I try things with Peyton and if it doesn't work then I can get back together with Brooke without any insecurities." Lucas said, so sure that he had it all figured out.

"Do you realize how much of an ass that makes you sound like?"

"It's what Brooke wants!"

Haley scoffed. "Let me ask you this Sherlock, what if Brooke's gone?"

"What?"

"What if Brooke doesn't wait for you to break up with Peyton? hat makes you so sure she wont move on?"

"She'll wait because she loves me."

"Don't you love her? Yet, here you are, dating someone else. So, can you explain to me again our master plan?"

"She told Peyton to try things with me!" Lucas said getting agitated.

Haley sighed. Again, she could say so much. Things that would hurt Lucas, break him. She could say things that would betray Brooke's trust. She could say things she'd probably loose a friendship or two if she said them.

So, she decided to push those things aside, momentarily surrendering.

"Fine. Lucas, your my best friend and my brother in law, so I'll leave it. But figure your feelings out soon Luke. Brooke's not gonna wait forever." Haley said gently, retreating to the back of the cafe.

"I've missed doing this." Brooke said as they came out of yet another store.

"I've missed it too." Peyton said as they walked towards the food court.

They had 3 simple rules. One, they couldn't bring up Lucas. Two, they couldn't bring up Lucas. And Three, they couldn't bring up Lucas.

"I haven't eaten anything today. Wanna stop by the food court?" Peyton asked and Brooke agreed despite the fact that she wanted to throw up.

They got their food, Peyton ordered a burger and a large fry while Brooke ordered a water and a small fry. They sat down at the table where Peyton immediately started eating while Brooke tried to force a fry down. After about 4 bites of hamburger, Peyton noticed that Brooke was still trying to eat the first fry she picked up.

"What's wrong Brooke?" Peyton asked, swallowing her food.

"I just feel sick."

"Do you have the flu or something?" Peyton asked. This was the second time Brooke was 'refusing' food.

"No. I just feel a bit nauseous. I'm fine."

"Are you anorexic?" Peyton joked laughing a bit with Brooke.

"Please, I'm not a dumbass you stick!" Brooke joked back.

"Well then what is it? You're not pregnant are you?" Peyton joked again, but that one hit a little closer to home for Brooke.

Brooke still managed to laugh until the next 2 things happened.

"And you don't have cancer right?" Peyton asked, her tone becoming more serious. She didn't like to joke so much about cancer anymore after the Ellie ordeal.

Brooke laughed very awkwardly and mumbled a no. That's when she saw him.

"Hey Peyton, are you almost done?" Brooke asked, her eyes darting between Peyton and him.

"Yeah... why?" Peyton asked as she followed Brooke's eyes. "Are you freaking out over Mr. Chavez?"

"What?" Brooke asked as Nick looked over at them. "Shit."

"You are freaking out over Mr.Chavez." Peyton said getting up seeing as Brooke is already up and picking up her bags.

"We have to go. Now." Brooke said as Nick walked over to them.

"Brooke." Nick said as he came up to the table.

"I have nothing to say to you." Brooke said simply, picking up the rest of her bags. "Come on Peyton. We can go back to your house and I'll even sit through one of your stoner movies."

Nick opened his mouth to speak but Brooke was already marching towards the exit. Peyton stood there awkwardly.

"Hi Mr. Chavez." she said, smiling a fake smile as she grabbed her bags. "I'm just gonna... yeah."

"What the hell was that about?" Peyton asked as they drove towards her house.

"Nothing." Brooke said as she looked out the window.

"Brooke, tell me."

"Why should I?" Brooke asked, her tone switched to hostile.

"Because I'm your friend!" Peyton said getting agitated.

"For the day Peyton! This is a one time only deal because **you** fucked it up." Brooke yelled.

"We said we weren't going to bring him up and we said that we were going to have a day like it used to be. And the old Brooke would tell me why the fuck she freaked out at the site of our english teacher!" Peyton yelled back.

" I didn't bring him up! I was just stating the fact that you are a shitty friend!!!" By now Peyton had pulled up in front of her house.

"Brooke I've apologized for that so many times! Why can't you let it go?!" Peyton questioned, both girls staying in the car.

"BECAUSE I STILL LOVE LUCAS!" Brooke screamed. There. She said it. She broke their 3 rules of the day. She didn't know if Peyton knew that she still loved him but now she obviously would. She was just going to accept the fact that this was going to be a very awkward way to end the day and, she assumed, their friendship.

But, surprisingly Peyton came back with another question. "You think I don't know that? Of course I know that Brooke! Otherwise you'd be less bitchy to me and not have to schedule a nice day! What I don't understand is why you would just give him to me!"

"Because contrary to popular belief I'm not a selfish bitch and still care about you Peyton! I'm trying to do a selfless act! I know you love him and I know that he still loves you! So why should I try to deny it anymore?"

"If you were really being selfless you would let it go! So why can't you just be nice to me Brooke? Can you answer me that?"

"Because I'm jealous Peyton! I've always been jealous of you! Lucas worships you! You have his heart Peyton! He wants you and not me! You have no idea what that feels like Peyton!"

"Brooke! That's what I've been feeling for the last year and a half!"

"Don't give me that crap Peyton! The whole time I was dating Lucas, I had to constantly question who he was dating. Some days I felt like his friend and that you were his girlfriend! I've second guessed our whole relationship because of you! Do you know what it's like to have your boyfriend call and cancel your date because he is off saving your best friend? No I don't think you do Peyton, so don't give me that fucking bullshit about you feeling the same way!" Brooke screamed pointing her finger at Peyton, her eyes filled with rage and tears.

She turned her head and looked out the window, pushing back her tears as Peyton let her head drop, her eyes fixating on the leather type material of the seats.

Peyton sat there, speechless. She'd never thought about it that way before. _God,_ Peyton thought, _no wonder she slapped me when I told her_.

The two of them sat there in the quiet car, Brooke's words still hanging in the air. Neither one moved or made a sound until Peyton finally mustered up enough courage to speak.

"Thank you." she whispered, her voice cracking a bit.

Brooke turned her head to look at Peyton, not sure if she had heard correctly. Peyton slowly lifted her head up to look at Brooke, tears in her eyes as well. "Thank you." she said again, this time looking Brooke in the eye.

"I didn't realize the extent of what you did till just now. I didn't realize what it was like on your end of this fucking love triangle." Peyton said, laughing a little to keep the tears back. "So, thank you Brooke. Guess I am on the shitty end of the friend scale huh?"

She let her head hang again, a few tears spilling from her eyes. She wiped them away when Brooke began to speak.

"Your not a shitty friend. You can't help who you love Peyton." Brooke whispered. "It's not like I've been the greatest friend lately. I could have stopped being a bitch to you."

"So what? Are we agree that we've both made some bad choices?"

"Well, kinda. We did make some bad choices, yours being worse but it's okay. We all know you can't be as perfect as me." Brooke said sarcasm evident in her voice.

The two girls laughed and finally got out of the car and into the house.

"This movie has it'd funny parts but I don't get why you love it so much." Brooke said as the credits began to role.

"It's only the greatest movie ever! What I don't get is how you **don't** love 'Detroit Rock City'." Peyton responded turning the tv off. Brooke just shook her head and laid back on the couch.

"I should probably get going." Brooke said, looking at the clock.

Peyton nodded, unsure of where they stood on everything.

"See you at school tomorrow?" Brooke asked, letting herself let Peyton back in.

"Yeah." Peyton said. "Does this mean we're friends?"

Brooke thought for a moment before finally nodding. "Yeah. It just might get a little awkward when Lucas is hanging out with us too." Brooke said with a small laugh.

Brooke reached for her bags but then stopped.

"So, we're trying the whole friend thing again right?" Peyton nodded. "OKay." Brooke said releasing a breath. "You can't tell anyone okay. Especially Lucas." Peyton nodded again, getting slightly worried. "I slept with him."

"Who?" Peyton asked clearly confused. Brooke gave her that _look _ and it hit her. "You slept with our english teacher?!"

"Don't look at me like that Peyton! I was dating him, not just sleeping with him! I'm not a whore." Brooke said before adding "Anymore."

"Well what happened?" Peyton asked still not believing that Brooke slept with their teacher let alone date him.

"Things were going good until I found him with one of my models." Brooke said quietly.

"Oh Brooke. I'm sorry." Peyton said opening her arms to hug Brooke but Brooke just hook her head.

"No, it's ok. I don't know why I thought he'd be any different. He is my teacher for craps sake! I shouldn't have gotten all attached and girlie." Brooke said sighing. "It's ok Peyton. Really. I just needed to get it off my chest. The only other person that knows is Rachel and well, she gets tired of my bitching." Peyton laughed a bit and nodded her head.

"It's good to have you back Brooke." Peyton said as Brooke finally grabbed her bags.

"Nice to have you back to Peyton." Brooke said as she left the house, relieved to finally have her friend back. Of course, this was just going to make it harder for her to tell her that she had cancer. Which in turn would make it harder for Peyton when she was gone.


	8. Always Love

Hey all! I like this chapter, not really sure why but I do lol I'm also proud for getting this done so quickly. I hope y'all like it and remember are reviews love! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! So, without further ado, the story:

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

"God, I hate this." Brooke said, curled up in fetal position on Haley's couch.

"What's wrong?" Haley asked as she brought Brooke some water.

"Cramps." Brooke managed to get out as she squeezed her eyes shut. "Damn it!"

Haley rubbed her back trying to help but knowing she couldn't. It'd been a month since Brooke started chemo and things weren't looking too good. She was getting the side effects of the chemo, which only made her nausea worse. By now she was throwing up almost nonstop but what made it worse was that she wasn't eating so there was nothing she could throw up except the weird watery/acidy liquid.

So, because she was throwing up so much, she started to loose weight, quickly. She never wanted to eat and when she did it came back up. She was getting thinner but still looked bloated, especially in the stomach region. She was constantly tired and in the past week had gotten another symptom: on going stomach cramps.

"It'll be okay Brooke. Do you want some aspirin?" Haley asked. Brooke didn't like taking aspirin for the cramps, mainly because it didn't really help. But, today was a bad day and if the aspirin took even the slightest bit of pain away, then she was going to take it.

Brooke nodded her head 'yes' and Haley immediately went and got her some. Haley was helping Brooke sit up in order to take the pills when Nathan came in.

Two weeks ago, Brooke had pretty much been forced to tell Nathan. She was over all the time and since all she did was get sick when she was there, he started getting worried. Haley seemed to know what was going on since she wasn't questioning Brooke. So, after one of her bathroom binges he sat her down and asked her what was wrong.

She broke down, begged him not to tell Lucas or anyone else. She cried and cried and somewhere between the lines said that she had cancer. At first Nathan thought she was kidding, blowing the situation out of proportion. But when he looked up at Haley, who nodded sadly, he knew that it was no joke. Brooke had cancer. So, he did what he did best, he pulled her into a big hug, telling her that they would help her through it and that it would be okay. And, most importantly, promised that he wouldn't tell anyone, especially Lucas.

"I bought some gatorade." Nathan said holding up the bag as Brooke got the pills down.

"Thank god." Haley said. By now Brooke was back in fetal position and rocking back and forth. "Do you want any Brooke?"

"Not right now." Brooke said quietly, the aspirin already taking some effect. "Thanks though."

Haley draped a blanket over Brooke who looked like she was finally falling asleep. She walked over to the kitchen where Nathan was putting the gatorade away.

"Hey. How are you?" Nathan asked Haley as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Good. Your son has finally stopped moving so much." Haley said with a small smile.

"Well that's good ." Nathan said giving Haley a small kiss. "How's she holding up?"

"Today isn't a good day." Haley said looking at Brooke. She sighed before lowering her voice. "Have you talked to Lucas recently?"

"About Peyton or Brooke?" Nathan asked giving Haley the famous Scott smirk.

"You know me all to well husband of mine." Haley said smiling up at him. "About either one."

"Well, he doesn't really talk about Brooke a lot. But with Peyton, I dunno, it's hard to figure out."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing has really changed. He still talks about her like he did before they were dating. The only real difference is the occasional kiss." Nathan said noticing Haley's confused look. "What?"

"Nothing. I just assumed that it'd be more different you know? Like how he was with Brooke."

"What do you mean 'How he was with Brooke'?"

"The way he talked about her. He always talked so highly of her. Used any excuse to call her his girlfriend. He took pride in calling her that." Haley said.

"Maybe it's because the relationships still new."

"It's been a month."

"Not everyone gets married after 6 months Haley." Nathan laughed.

"Whatever." Haley said playfully swatting Nathan.

"Miss Davis I'd like to see you after class." Nick said as Brooke started putting her stuff away.

Brooke rolled her eyes, not wanting to get into it with him today. It was amazing that she'd made it to school considering how bad yesterday was.

The bell wrung and everyone filed out of the class room leaving Brooke sitting at her desk alone in the room with Nick.

"Brooke, I wanted to talk to you-"

"About me walking in on you and the skank?" Brooke interrupted.

"No, I'm done talking to you about that. What I wanted to talk to you about is your attendance."

"What about it?"

"Well, your lack of."

"I've been sick." Brooke said truthfully. But, it seemed that whenever Brooke told one of her teachers that, they thought she was lying.

"Brooke you don't have to lie." Bingo!

"I'm not lying! I've been sick." Brooke said letting more anger out than she normally would.

"If it's so awkward for you to be in my class-"

Brooke interrupted yet again. "Someone's a little full of himself. I'm not that fucking sad about finding you in bed with my model. I'm not even bothered by the fact that I know my english teacher is a dick wad outside of school. And I'm not avoiding this class because I slept with you! I'm not coming to your class, or **any** classes, because I've been sick out of my mind! God knows I was when I was sleeping with you. So if you'll excuse me _Mr. Chavez_ I have to get to my next class." Brooke growled as she walked out of the class room, giving Nick the finger as she did so.

"Hey Lucas." Haley said,walking up to Lucas in the hall.

"So, finally talking to me again Hales?"

"I figured I should you being the uncle of my child and what not." Haley chuckled. "So, how goes it with you and Peyton?" She needed to see it for herself. See if he got the same way he did with Brooke.

"It's good. I'm just glad a lot hasn't changed you know? We're still how we were, just with perks." Lucas said taking a sip of water as he did so.

"That's good?" Haley said, trying to hide the questioning tone in her voice.

"What?" Lucas asked picking up on it.

"It's nothing. I'm still getting used to it that's all." Haley said which has the truth. She loved Peyton and Lucas but, them as a couple? She wasn't sure if they could handle each other. Which was funny considering she supported them getting together during the first half of junior year.

"Have you talked to Brooke recently?" She already knew he hadn't.

"Not really. I mean she hasn't been in school a lot and I know she tries to hang out with Peyton but I'm probably not making that easy on her." Lucas said, emotion finally in his voice.

Even when he wasn't speaking to her, Lucas talked about Brooke like she was there, like he was involved in her life. He had talked more about Brooke than Peyton in that moment and Haley picked up on it. She had been right. For him, it was gonna be Brooke. But Lucas, being a little slow when it came to his heart, would be the last to realize it, just like he'd been the last one to realize that he still loved Peyton.

If only he'd understand when Haley told him Junior year, that he was Joey Potter and Peyton was Dawson. It's always gonna be there, that connection, but, Pacey will always get Joey in the end.

"So what are you doing after school?" Haley asked, letting their earlier conversation go.

"Um, I think I'm gonna go play some ball at the river court. You working?" Lucas asked and Haley nodded. "I'll stop by later."

"Alright. See ya Lucas." Haley said walking into her next class.

Brooke got up from her previous position in front of the toilet, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Gross." Brooke mumbled as she flushed the toilet and washed her hands.

She'd gone to Rachel's after school, mainly to get some more clothes since she was pretty much living with Nathan and Haley now. She walked out of the bathroom only to be greeted by Lucas.

"You slept with our english teacher? Do you realize how slutty that is?!" Lucas exclaimed , not bothering with a 'Hello'.

"Peyton told you?!" Brooke asked, regretting telling Peyton about Nick.

"PEYTON KNOWS?!" Lucas asked, not believing that Peyton wouldn't tell him. "What the hell does Haley know too?"

"No Haley doesn't know and I'd prefer you didn't tell her! How the hell did you find out anyway?!"

"I was walking back to class because I forgot my book when I heard you exclaim how you weren't avoiding the class because you slept with our **teacher**!"

"Where the hell do you come off telling me I'm a slut Mr. Man Whore!?" Brooke yelled, grabbing on to the dresser she stood next to. All the yelling was making her a little dizzy, but even with cancer, Brooke wasn't going to back down from a fight.

" I may have done some 'whorish' things but I never slept with a fucking teacher Brooke! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I was thinking that he was a twenty something model I met at a club not my soon to be english teacher!"

"So you're saying you stopped after you found out?" Lucas asked already knowing the answer.

"I wasn't just screwing him Lucas! I was actually **dating** him!" Brooke yelled, knowing already that he wasn't going to believe it. She walked over to her bed, falling backwards on it, her hands covering her eyes.

"Oh really? What, did you finally break it off when you realized 'Hey, maybe I SHOULDN'T be fucking my english teacher?'!"

" NO I BROKE IT OFF WHEN I FOUND HIM IN BED WITH MY MODEL!" Brooke screamed, looking Lucas straight in the eye. Lucas looked at her, clearly shocked. "Yeah, you heard me. Our english teacher cheated on me."

"I'm sorry Brooke." Lucas said, guilt flooding over him.

"For what?" Brooke asked, rolling over onto her side so that her back was facing towards him.

"Everything. Calling you a whore and the fact that Nick cheated on you." Lucas said gently. Brooke didn't say or do anything to acknowledge the apology.

"And I'm sorry that I cheated on you." he whispered, thinking that Brooke hadn't heard him. but she did, which made her hurt a little more. As if finding Nick with the skank wasn't enough to remind her of Lucas and Peyton, Lucas had to bring it up too. She didn't want to hear how sorry he was. Not for Nick and not for him. Sorry didn't change what they did, what they ruined. How hellish they made her life in the weeks following the discoveries.

"You shouldn't apologize for Nick." she chose to say, deciding to not bring up her earlier thoughts.

He sat down on her bed. "Did he?"

Again, he hurt her a little more. "No."

By now he had started unconsciously rubbing her back.

"Luke..." Brooke said trying to move away from his touch which was a little harder than expected since she had already started falling asleep.

"Right." Lucas said, removing his hand from her back. He decided to opt for 'right' rather than saying 'sorry' to her again which he knew already would piss her off. He stayed on the bed though, close to her. Her eyes were closed but she knew he was still there, wanting her to allow him to touch her.

She seemed so sad over the whole matter. He assumed because it also brought back the memories of him and Peyton. Which it did, but she was sad for other reasons too. Reasons that she wasn't ready to share with him. Reasons she'd hopefully never have to share with him.

"I still love you. You know that right?" Lucas said gently. She smiled the tiniest smile as she was slowly slipping into dreamland. But, before she could respond, his cell phone wrung.

"I know, I love you too but you also love her." Brooke whispered, fully aware that it was Peyton who was calling him. He'd leaned away from her when he looked at the phone. "_Go be with her Lucas._"

She'd been too sleepy to realize that those were the same words he uttered to him the night of the banquet. But, he knew it. It killed him to hear those words. That night he had wanted to be with her, no thought of Peyton in his mind. But she was so hurt that night, that she gave up. She walked away from him and told him to be with Peyton.

He stood up and looked at his phone which had just gone to voicemail. He knew he should call Peyton but he didn't leave the room. Instead, he leaned down and kissed Brooke's temple slowly and gently. He let his lips linger there taking in the scent of her green apple shampoo. He missed waking up to that smell.

When he stood back up he realized that her breathing had slowed and her face was emotionless. She was asleep. He took the blanket from the foot of the bed and draped it over her body. He gave her another quick kiss on the temple before finally leaving the room.


	9. Tiny Vessels

Hey all! well, im very proud of this chapter and it felt REALLY good to write it lol i hope i did it justice though. anyway the lyrics in this chapter is "Tiny Vessels" by Death Cab for Cutie. Thanks again for the reviews and I hope y'all leave more! So without further ado, the story:

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

Peyton was in her room sitting in front of her computer drawing another one of her drawings. What was this one currently of? Her ex-best friend but now kinda friend Brooke. It wasn't like her other drawings of Brooke. For one, Brooke was happy in this one. It was based off of a picture when they were at Rachel's cabin when everyone was happy. And for some reason, Peyton had the urge to draw Lucas standing next to Brooke arms wrapped around her.

Lucas was currently sitting on Peyton's bed, reading 'The Winter of Our Discontent', but never focussing on the book. Instead, his mind travels to Brooke and their first date.

They were both sitting in her room, neither one speaking to one another as 'The Sound of Settling' played in the background.

It looked like a content relationship. Boyfriend and girlfriend sitting in peace. Which, it was in a way. But the thing that neither could figure out was why. They waited for almost 2 years to finally get together and they do the exact same thing that they did before. The only thing that's changed? A few 'I love ya's and kisses.

The silence between the 2 of them was interrupted by the ringing of Lucas's cell phone. He answered it, telling Karen that he'd come down to the cafe now and hung up.

He got up from his position on the bed as the record moved to the next track. He walked up to Peyton, standing next to her, looking at her draw the picture of Brooke. He smiles to himself remembering when the picture was taken. He had had his arms wrapped around her and was looking down at her while she smiled her dimpled smile at the camera.

_This is the moment that you know_

_That you told her that you loved her, but you don't_

"It's beautiful." Lucas said, Peyton looking up at him. She mumbled a thanks and looked back at her drawing. His comment got her thinking. Was the drawing itself beautiful or was he speaking of the girl portrayed in it?

_You touch her skin and then you think_

_That she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me_

_Yeah, she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me_

"Are you going?" she asked, continuing the coloring of Brooke's hair.

"Yeah. I'll call you later. Love you." He said giving her a quick kiss on the head. As soon as he left, she released a huge sigh.

_This isn't how it should be,_ she thought to herself choosing to draw Lucas into the picture. She found it odd that they never fought and nothing had changed at all. All of their kisses except their first one had been on the cheek or head. When they weren't dating they kissed more meaningful of craps sake.

"This isn't right." she sighed.

Lucas walked his way to his mom's cafe, letting his mind wander back to Brooke. To say he missed her would be an understatement. He'd never realized until now how much she was in his life. Even when he was hanging out with Peyton before Brooke would always call and make plans for later or just call to say that she loved him.

_I spent two weeks in Silver Lake_

_The California sun cascading down my face_

It's funny. The first time he saw Brooke, he'd been at the beach during sophomore year, sitting on the dock reading. He'd looked up once and saw a girl with light brown streaks to go along with her very dark brown hair. She was wearing a green bathing suit. The top was a halter and she was wearing her towel around her waist. She'd looked beautiful. But, he had became more preoccupied watching her blonde curly haired friend that sat next to her on the beach.

_There was a girl with light brown streaks_

_And she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me_

_Yeah she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me_

After thinking of that day for a while, he let his mind travel to a certain party at Dan's house during their junior year. He was finally getting his chance with Peyton. He was telling her all these things that he was sure he'd believed which was funny, since he had no reason to believe them. He hadn't gotten close to Peyton _that_ much. Hell, they hadn't even spoken to each other at all until 4 weeks before that moment.

_I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking_

_As we moved together in the dark_

But there they were, in a dark room in **Dan**'s house, tearing off each others clothes and talking. Well, he was talking about how this was finally what he wanted. Then it all ended because he couldn't keep his mouth shut and accept what was happening and leave it alone.

_And all the friends that I was telling_

_And all the playful misspellings_

_And every bite I gave you left a mark_

And then, there were the times when he and Peyton would sneak around behind Brooke's back. They'd been careful, trying not to get caught but when he really thought about it they had been completely reckless. Like when they kissed in the library. Yeah, they knew Brooke wasn't going to be in there but what about Haley (who ended up finding them) or someone else they knew, that could ultimately tell Brooke.

Or when they were in his car parked on some deserted road for the night. They were getting so into the moment. Peyton's shirt was off and Lucas had been sucking on her neck for the past couple minutes. They didn't realize how deep they were in until Brooke called. Then, the guilt had flooded over them as Lucas started the truck while Peyton put her shirt on, rubbing the area on her neck where Lucas had been sucking. There was no doubt that a hickey would soon be there, another act of carelessness on their part. She'd have to make sure she hid it from Brooke who would undoubtedly hound her until she told her who gave it to her.

_As tiny vessels oozed into your neck_

_And formed the bruises_

_That you said you didn't want to fade_

_But they did and so did I that day_

He sighed to himself and shook his head. It wasn't right. He wasn't like that with Peyton anymore.

He was confused again and needed to talk to someone who didn't have estrogen.

"Hey Nate." Lucas asked as he walked up to Nathan who was sitting on the picnic table at the river court.

"Luke."

"So, I need some advice." Lucas said, sitting next to Nathan.

"You know, it's funny. Your the older brother yet you are always coming to me for advice." Nathan laughed.

"Yeah well, you always seem to know what you want. I don't." Lucas said as he rubbed his head.

"You mean I knew that I wanted Haley?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah."

"I can't imagine my life without her Lucas. And, I'd ask you who you couldn't live without but I know 2 girls will come to your mind. Hell, Haley would probably come to your mind." Nathan said.

"I know, I know. It's just... I don't want to hurt them. And either way I'm hurting one of them. If I'm with Brooke I'm hurting Peyton, if I'm with Peyton, I'm hurting Brooke."

"Maybe you should just not date either one." Nathan said. It sounded like a pretty good idea too, although he knew that none of the 3 could handle that.

"Yeah, 'cause that'd happen." Lucas said sarcastically. " I just don't know what to do Nate."

"Let's review. When Peyton pushed you away during junior year, did you fight for her?"

"At the party?"

"Yeah."

"No."

"Did you fight for her when she broke it off with you to preserve her friendship with Brooke?"

"How do you know all this?"

"Haley is my wife if you haven't forgotten. Now answer the question." Nathan said frustrated.

"No."

"Did you fight for Brooke when she came back from California?"

"Like hell."

"Did you fight for her after she broke up with you after the wedding?"

"Some what."

"Why?"

"Did I fight for her?"

Nathan nodded. "Why her and not Peyton?"

Lucas opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

"Until you can answer that question your screwed bro." Nathan said looking at his cell phone. It was killing him not to tell Lucas about Brooke, but it wasn't his place to tell him. It shouldn't come from him. "I got to go meet up with Haley." Nathan said getting up. "Good luck dude." Nathan patted Lucas on the shoulder as he walked away, bouncing his basketball as he did so.

Peyton was still in her room, putting the finishing touches on her drawing of Brooke and Lucas. She was happy with it, it turned out beautifully. But, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that that was how it should be. Brooke and Lucas, not her and Lucas.

She sat there, brooding like her boyfriend does, for a good half an hour. Contemplating on what to do. She had asked Lucas who he wanted standing next to her and yeah, she wanted him to say her, but did that mean that she wanted him next to her.

"Okay," she whispered to herself. "Let's take a look."

She closed her eyes letting her mind let go of every thought. She started thinking of who she would want in front of her. Bit by bit the picture in front of her came in. It started with the sky, and then the boat and ocean. Then eventually came Jenny and ultimately Jake.

She opened her eyes and found herself staring at the drawing of Jake and Jenny that was upon the wall. She smiled to herself.

_All I see are dark gray clouds_

_In the distance, moving closer with every hour_

"Jake." she whispered. So what was Lucas to her? Her constant? The one guy that would always be there and not hurt her. The one guy who didn't come with a bunch of baggage.

"Is something wrong?" Lucas asked as he stood in the doorway. Peyton's face had gone back into think mode.

_Of course there is something wrong. We are both fucking idiots and ruined the best thing we had._ Peyton thought to herself. "I'm just thinking."

So when you'd ask, "Is something wrong?"

I'd think "You're damn right there is

But we can't talk about it now

No, we can't talk about it now"

"About?"

"Us."

Lucas laughed a bit. "Me too."

"Look-" they both say at the same time.

"You can go first." Peyton said with a laugh.

"You know I care about you right Peyton?" Lucas asked, hoping that this wouldn't hurt her too much.

"Of course. I care about you too Lucas."

"And that I never want to hurt you."

" I know Lucas." Peyton said laughing again.

"But, us being together isn't fair to you." Lucas said, closing his eyes.

"I know." Peyton said as Lucas's eyes shot open.

"What?" Lucas asked, clearly not believing what he was hearing.

"You don't know what you want and I'm not too sure either. Each time I ask myself the big 'Who do I want to be with' question, to people come to mind. And it's different every time. But, lately it's been changing, becoming constant, and I need to think about it a little more before I can be in a relationship with somebody. And, frankly, I think you need to do that too." Peyton said truthfully.

So one last touch and then you'll go

And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more

"Are we both breaking up with each other?" Lucas asked, a smirk on his face.

"I think we are." Peyton said looking Lucas in the eye.

But it was vile, and it was cheap

And you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

"But we wont let things get awkward right?" Lucas asked. He might have broken up with Peyton but that didn't mean that he didn't want to be friends with her.

"Nope. We're still friends. PLus, it's not like we'll have much to switch back too." Peyton said with a laugh.

Lucas nodded a head and walked over to Peyton. They share a small hug before Lucas leaves.

Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

Yeah, you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

Peyton's phone rings and s he looks at the ID and smiles.

"Hey Brooke."

"Hey Peyton. Just thought I'd call and talk for a bit. I'm bored." Brooke said laughing a bit. "What's up?"

"I just broke up with Lucas." Peyton said biting her bottom lip.

"What?"


	10. You Could Be Happy

Alrighty everyone I have an update! I dunno how I feel about this one. I like it but then I don't. But I hope YOU all like it lol Lyrics are initalics except Brooke's thought type things lol the lyrics are 'You Could Be Happy' by Snow Patrol which is a kick ass song if I do say so myself. It was the inspiration for this chapter. So Thank you for all the reviews! they mean alot! And I hope ya leave for when ur done reading lol. So without further ado the story:

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

"What?" Brooke asked, almost dropping the phone in shock. Had Peyton and Lucas actually broke up?

"Well, I guess we both broke up with each other. We weren't sure if it was each other that we wanted." Peyton said simply, staring at her just finished drawing of Brooke and Lucas.

"That's... that's..." Brooke tried to come up with something but was speechless. "Hey, Peyton I got to go. Haley just came back from her doctor's appointment. I'll call you back later."

"What's wrong?" Haley asked taking off her jacket.

"They broke up." Brooke whispered, putting the phone down on the counter.

"What?" Haley asked, not hearing what Brooke had said.

Brooke cleared her throat and looked up at Haley. "They broke up."

"Lucas and Peyton?" Haley asked just for clarification.

Brooke just nodded, still not really believing it. What did this mean? That she could be with Lucas? No, she couldn't do that. Yeah she wanted to be with him more than anything but she couldn't hurt him like that.

Could she and Peyton go back to the way they once were? Again, no. She couldn't do that. It was already bad enough that she had became friends with her again. The chemo wasn't exactly working meaning the cancer was spreading and she'd soon have to decide on what to do next.

Either way, she didn't want Peyton or Lucas finding out about the cancer until the last possible moment.

She hadn't even realized that she had started crying until she felt Haley's arms wrap around her.

"I don't know why the hell I'm crying." Brooke said quietly, forging a small laugh.

Haley offered a smile sincere smile as Brooke looked down at her belly. "Sorry. How'd the appointment go?" This was the first appointment she hadn't gone to because she had been vomiting up a storm when Haley had left. She was anxious to hear how it went.

"Everything is fine. Here's the sonogram." Haley said pulling the picture out of her purse.

"Aw, Haley." Brooke said looking at the picture. "Can you believe he's gonna be here in, what, 4 months?"

"No." Haley laughed. " I need more time to plan and get ready."

"Haley your fine."

"There is still just so much we need though."

"Don't worry Haley, I've got you covered." Brooke said grabbing Haley's hand and leading her into the Naley bedroom. Once they entered the room Haley came face to face with a crib, dresser (that little did she know was filled with clothes), and a car seat/stroller.

"Brooke, I can't take all this." Haley said, tearing up.

"Of course you can. Besides, I'm repaying you for everything."

"Repaying me for what?"

"Letting me crash here, and keeping mum about the whole thing and helping me through it. Besides, others pitched in too." Brooke said hugging her friend who had begun crying.

"Thank you Brooke."

"Not a problem."

"So, you found out about me and Peyton?" Lucas asked as Brooke wrote down different subjects for the project that they had been paired together to do.

He didn't know anything about her anymore and it killed him. She could be the happiest person in the world without him but he wouldn't have a clue unless Haley told him, which was the only way he found out that Brooke knew about him and Peyton.

_You could be happy and I won't know_

_But you weren't happy the day I watched you go_

He caused her so much pain during their relationship that all he could do was pray that she was happy. Because she sure as hell wasn't happy when he broke up with her. Or when he had showed up on her doorstep when she gave him back his sling. Or when she left the dance floor at Nathan and Haley's wedding. Or when she walked away the night of the banquet, both times.

"Peyton told me." she said simply, grabbing Lucas' paper, copying the list she had written onto his paper.

"I could do that myself you know."

"It's faster this way." she said. They way she figured it, was that if she did most of the work it would cut the time they talked in half.

"Thanks then."

"Not a problem." She could tell he was thinking. Thinking about how to talk to her more. He obviously saw the project as a big opportunity for talk.

"So I have a question."

She looked up at him, waiting for him to ask. "Are you still not going to associate with me even though there is nothing going on with me and Peyton anymore?"

That was a ballsy question. "I don't know Lucas. Peyton was one factor as to why I couldn't associate with you any more, but there are other factors too." She didn't want to get into in class. Especially not English class.

"What other factors?"

"Are you that retarded?" Brooke asked him in all seriousness.

"Brooke I just, I don't get it. Peyton was obviously a big part of our problem. I know that I couldn't let you in and that was a problem too but I'm willing to work for this Brooke." Lucas said putting his hand on top of hers. She flinched at this, pulling her hand away. The break up had had a surprising effect on her.

"Can you look me straight in the eye and tell me that you 110 over Peyton?" she challenged him.

He looked down not being able to say it. He was positive that he wanted Brooke more but to say that all his feelings for Peyton had gone away overnight would be a lie. "No." he mumbled quietly.

"Then we can't work on this." Brooke said, pointing her pen at them.

Lately, a lot of words were leaving her mouth that she wished she'd never said. The words she had been saying the last couple months still replayed in her head, driving her crazy. Go _be with her, Lucas., Just go Lucas., Maybe it'd be better if we just didn't associate anymore., I want you to date Lucas._ But, she knew they had to be said. Partly because they hadn't worked through their problems. Partly because she couldn't get together with him. She wouldn't put him through the pain of loosing her again.

_And all the things that I wish I had not said_

_Are played on lips 'til it's madness in my head_

"We used to be good Brooke." Lucas said gently, almost pleading her to remember.

"When Lucas? When you cheated on me? When you chose Peyton?" Brooke asked, letting more emotion come into her voice.

"Like the time at Rachel's cabin. That weekend was wonderful Brooke." Lucas said, reaching for her hand again. She allowed him to touch her, still flinching a little at the touch. But he did that to her. He still had the power to make her weak in the knees. "Or when we went to Myrtle Beach, just the 2 of us."

_Is it too late to remind you how we were?_

_But not our last days of silent, screaming blur_

He started stroking her hand with his thumb as she stared at him, tears swelling a little in her eyes. He was getting through her wall, tearing it down bit by bit. But she was fighting it with every ounce of strength she had.

"It's hard to remember those times Lucas. You did a lot of shit." she said, getting a bit angry. Angry for doing what he did to her. Angry for breaking through her walls. But she wouldn't let him in any further.

"I made mistakes. A lot of them and I know that. But when I think back on all of our good memories, I realize how big I fucked up. I would do anything on this earth to take what I did back Brooke. You have got to believe me." Lucas said, begging her to take him back. Again, he wanted to know that he wasn't fighting a lost cause. That in the month he'd been with Peyton, she hadn't given up on them.

_Most of what I remember makes me sure_

_I should have stopped you from walking out the door_

"The biggest thing I regret Brooke, is watching you walk out that door. The night of the banquet. The night you broke up with me. The night I broke up with you. I've watched you walk away too many times Brooke. I don't want to see you do that again." Lucas said hoping this would break through her exterior. Had they not been in class he probably would have broke down. Gotten on his knees and cried, begging her to take him back.

She sniffed, keeping back the oncoming tears. "This isn't fair." she said quietly which shocked him. "You can't tell me all these things and expect it to be okay Lucas. Our problems are deeper than Peyton. Just because you promise to make something try and work doesn't mean it will."

Bit by bit he could see her wall going back up around her. Closing up from him.

"Why do you do that Brooke!? You tell me to open up but you wont do it for me?" Lucas asked angrily. She was right it wasn't fair.

"I don't have to open up to you right now Lucas. Because you are not my boyfriend and you are not my friend." Brooke said coldly.

"Your closing up because your afraid of being together. It's not because that we aren't together its because you think that letting me back in will hurt you." Lucas said matter-of-factly.

"And are you going to promise not to do that again? You've already broke that promise Lucas." Brooke said, the bell ringing in the background. "Okay, so I'm going to be gone the next couple of days and your going to have to work on the project. When I get back I'll finish the rest if you want."

"Where are you going?" Lucas asked, putting his things away.

"Why does it matter?" Brooke asked getting up.

"Brooke." Lucas stated, watching her turn around to look at him.

"What Lucas?" she asked. Her voice sounded tired and irritated.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." she turned away, thinking that was all he had to say.

"I hope your happy." Lucas said gently.

She had made him so unbelievably happy when they were together. He didn't treat her like Dan Scott's reject son. Or some nerd who liked to read John Steinbeck for fun. She pulled him out of his dark hole after the school shooting. She had comforted him after loosing basketball. He could make her laugh in the worst of situations and she could make him smile by simply being in the room.

_You could be happy, I hope you are_

_You made me happier than I'd been by far_

She turns to look at him, seeing the smile on his face. She knew he meant it and it was enough to gain a smile out of her. Not a big one, but a small one, barely showing off her dimples. She nodded her head subtly as she walked out of the room, leaving him to watch her walk out again.


	11. Bitter Sweet Symphony

Hey everyone! OKay, so as of this chapter you are up to date with the other 2 sites it's already posted on! So yay you! lol Um, this is a big cliffy chapter so I apologize in advanced. I'm going to TRY and get a chapter up on the 23rd or 24th since I'm doing practiclly nothing those days. Please read and review, you know I appreciate it! So, yeah Happy Holidays everyone lol So without further ado the story:

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :( but Bryan Greenberg is on my X-mas list ;)

"_You have unfortunately moved into Stage II Brooke. During this time I want to stop chemo." Dr. Chan said looking at a deathly pale Brooke._

"_Stop the chemo?" brooke asked nearly chocking on her words. She had been in Stage I and now she was in Stage II? They said the chemo would work._

"_I would like to have a Unilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy. We would be operating of course, to remove 1 ovary and fallopian tube. Since you are only 18 we are trying to remove as little as possible so you can remain fertile for the future if you decide to have kids."_

"_I..." Brooke couldn't get anything out._

"_How long would she be in the hospital?" Haley asked, clutching on to Brooke's hand._

" _Well, I'd prefer her to have it performed laparoscopically which would mean a much faster recovery time, she'd only be in the hospital anywhere from two to five days. Most women start walking around by the third day. If it's performed through an abdominal incision then that would take three to six weeks for recovery. If she does get it done laparoscopically it will take about a month to get back into her normal swing of things."_

_Haley nodded and looked back at Brooke who had tears streaming down her face._

"_Afterwards we'd take more x-rays to see if we got everything and to see how you are recovering." Dr.Chan added, passing a box of tissues to Brooke._

"_So, if I get this done..." Brooke began, her voice cracking, "I'd still be able to have children in the future right?"_

"_Of course." Dr. Chan said, happy to finally get words out of Brooke._

"_And I wouldn't go through that um, one thing. Surgical menopause?" Brooke asked squeezing Haley's hand hard._

"_No, you'll be fine. Would you like a few days to-" Dr. Chan began to ask but stopped once she noticed Brooke shaking her head._

"_When can I get it done?"_

"_The earliest I have is next Thursday at 10 am. Is that okay with you?" _

_Brooke looked over at Haley who nodded. "That's perfect."_

"_Wonderful." Dr. Chan said with a small smile. " Now, next Tuesday I want you to come in for a couple tests. The day before the surgery you should eat a light dinner and don't eat or drink anything after midnight..."_

Brooke woke up in a sweat, her thinning sticking to her head. Her hair hadn't fallen out too much probably do to the fact that the chemo hadn't been working. Brooke had always had naturally thick hair but it had become very thing during the chemo.

Today was her surgery. Haley would take her, wait till she was in surgery and then she'd leave for school. Then, about half way during her surgery, Nathan would come and pace in the waiting room even though the surgery would go fine. When she's wheeled out of OR, Nathan will go and wait with her in her room till her parents arrive and then he'd go back to school. Her parents would wait with her, tending to her every need and go on and on about how guilty they feel. Then after practice and work Nathan and Haley would come back and Haley would inform her of what's going on at school while Nathan gives her a foot massage.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Haley asked as she sat down nest to Brooke.

"Yeah. Nervous though." Brooke said rubbing her belly.

"That's to be expected. Plus your parents are coming too." Haley said rubbing Brooke's back supportively.

"At least there coming." Brooke said with a small laugh. "To bad it took me having to get cancer for them to get here."

"At least they're making an effort now."

"That's true. Did Nathan leave already?" Brooke asked getting up.

"Yep. Now, go shower so we can get going."

"Haley!" Peyton called as Haley walked down the hall.

"Hey Peyton. What's up?" Haley said stopping to let Peyton catch up.

"Do you know where Brooke is?" Peyton asked. She hadn't talked to her in a while and it's not like Lucas was any help. All he knew was that she wasn't going to be here.

"She's visiting her parents in California." Haley lied. That was there designated lie. Brooke would go to California to visit her parents where she would get badly sunburned so that would be why she'd be sore and walk a bit slow.

"Oh, really?" Peyton asked a bit confused. But, then again, she wasn't as close to Brooke anymore so it was entirely possible that Brooke could now have a great relationship with her parents.

"Yeah, they're trying to work out their problems." Haley said switching her books to her other hand. "I got to go. See ya later."

When Brooke woke up after her surgery, she was greeted by Nathan who was watching some basketball game on the television.

"God," she said, her voice more raspier than normal, "you can never be without basketball huh?"

Nathan turned to look at Brooke and cracked a smile. "You know it."

Brooke smiled to, not laughing though, knowing that she'd just end up hurting more. She was still feeling the after shocks of her anesthesiology but there was definatly pain down there. She figured laughing would only make it worse.

"Your parents stopped by already but they went to go grab something to eat and bring back here. They were... nice." Nathan tried to say gently.

"If they were mean you can say so." Brooke said letting a small and slightly painful 'heh' out as well.

"No, I mean that's the thing. I've met your parents before and they were always pretty snobby but they were nice to me today." Nathan said, turning off the tv.

"Well there's a miracle for ya." Brooke said, the anesthesiology slowly wearing off. "Can you get the nurse?"

"Of course." Nathan said quickly before leaving.

"Brooke!" Mrs. Davis exclaimed, walking into the room.

"Hey mom." Brooke said with a smile, watching her parents come into the room and Nathan stand up awkwardly.

"Hey there Brookie." Mr. Davis said, walking over to Brooke, giving her a small kiss on the head. "How are you?"

"As good as I could be I guess." Brooke responded happily. Her parents were never there before but they were taking a n interest now and that was good enough for her. Despite everything, she still loved her parents.

"We're so sorry we couldn't get here sooner dear. Your father was tying up loose ends with work and what not." Mrs. Davis said, setting down her stuff on an empty chair. "Hello again Nathan."

"Hey Mrs. Davis, Mr. Davis." Nathan said awkwardly before checking his watch. "I should get going. I still have time to make 5th period. Bye Brooke."

He walked over giving Brooke a small kiss upon her head. She smiled, squeezing his arm to let him know she appreciated it.

"Tell Haley I said 'Hi'." Brooke said was Nathan grabbed his things.

"Of course. See you later Brooke. Bye Mr. and Mrs. Davis." Nathan said before slipping out the door.

"Such a nice boy. Haley is his... wife correct?" Mrs. Davis asked.

"Yeah. They're having a baby too." Brooke added, deciding to tell her parents before hand about Haley's stomach.

"That's a bit young isn't it? But then again they did get married young." Mrs. Davis said with a laugh. "But, I'm sure they'll make wonderful parents."

"They will be." Brooke said smiling, yet feeling a bit awkward to be in the hospital with her parents. "So, how long are you staying?"

"Well, we've decided to stay." Mr. Davis said, Mrs. Davis coming to his side.

"Stay?" Brooke asked obviously confused. Her parents were coming out for her surgery and she figured they'd be leaving shortly there after. She sure as hell didn't expect them to stay, whatever that entailed.

"As in, live here." Mrs. Davis answered, squeezing her husband's hand. " We're moving back to Tree Hill."

"Are you serious?" Brooke asked, shocked as hell. Were they moving out here just for her? Or had something gone wrong in California?

"Yep. That's why we couldn't be out here sooner. We were selling the house and getting everything packed and well, buying the old house back." Mr. Davis said, searching his daughter's face for any sign of how he may feel about the situation.

"Our old house?"

"Yep." Mrs. Davis said with a smile.

"Why?" Brooke didn't want them to be near her if it was because there was some problem with her father's job in California.

"Because, well we miss you Brooke. And _this_ is a big wake up call that we could have lost you at any given minute during the past year and a half. And where would we be? On the other side of the country or in some foreign country." Mrs. Davis said, not saying cancer.

"Despite how we've acted before, we do love you Brooke. We understand if you don't want to move back in with us, you've been living on your own for a while and we've become accustomed to that. Just don't shut us out." Mr. Davis added, noticing the tears in Brooke's eyes. "Don't cry Brookie."

"So you guys are moving back here for me?" Brooke asked wiping the tear that had escaped.

"Of course honey." Mrs. Davis added, hugging her daughter. "We don't want to loose you more than we already have."

"Thank you." Brooke said, smiling.

Peyton was walking towards the record store after school on Friday when 2 some what familiar people caught her eye. SHe couldn't swear it was them considering she'd only met her a could of times. They were walking towards her and seemed to recognize her too.

"Mr. and Mrs. Davis?" Peyton asked very very confused. Brooke was supposedly in California visiting her parents so what were they doing here?

"Hello Peyton! It's nice to see you again." Mrs. Davis said as her and her husband stopped in front of Peyton.

"We thought we would have seen you yesterday." Mr. Davis added.

"It's nice to see you too. What do you mean? I thought you were in California?" Peyton asked possibly even more confused now.

"Didn't Brookie tell you that we were coming out for her surgery?" Mr. Davis asked, rubbing his head.

"We figured you'd stop by the hospital with Nathan and Haley." Mrs. Davis added noticing Peyton's confused face.

"Oh, um right." Peyton said, covering up her confusion. "I was busy, my dad came in last night. He's been out of town for a while."

_Brooke's in the hospital? What the hell?_ Peyton thought.

"There's still about an hour left for visiting hours. You could still see her tonight if you hurry." Mr. Davis said looking at his watch.

"Do you know the room number?" Mrs. Davis asked.

"Umm, no actually."

"562. it should be on the 4th story." Mrs. Davis said.

"Well, we've got to be going. We have to check on the movers and everything. Tell Brookie we'll try and make it back tonight." Mr. Davis said.

"Okay. Thank you." Peyton said as Mr. and Mrs. Davis smiled and continued walking down the street.

"Brooke? Are you awake?" Dr. Chan asked before entering the room to see Haley and Brooke laughing at something on the tv as Nathan gives Brooke a foot massage.

"Hi Dr. Chan. You know Haley and this is her husband Nathan." Brooke said pointing at Nathan you looked back and waved.

"I'd like to talk to you about the surgery. Would you like them here with you?"

"Of course."

"Would you like to wait for your parents?"

Brooke shook her head. "I don't want them to here it. Especially not if it's bad news."

"Okay." Dr. Chan said before taking a seat on the bed opposite of Brooke's. "Now, we removed your left ovary and fallopian tube as well as half of you right ovary."

"I thought you were only supposed to remove one?" Nathan asked, concerned that the doctor had made a mistake.

"When we ran the tests on Tuesday the cancer had spread into the other ovary which is why we had to remove half of it. We are confident that we got all of it but as you know there are no guarantees for anything." Dr. Chan said to Brooke who simply nodded.

She knew that there was a possibility that they missed some or that it'd come back. And as of right now nothing would surprise her. SHe had cancer, you don't get a much bigger shock than that.

Haley was just sitting there quietly thinking of how unfair it was. Nathan decided to be vocal about it.

"You mean that she had this surgery which effects her **whole** life including her future and you don't even have a guarantee for her? Am I the only one who realizes how shitty that is?" Nathan asked getting angry.

"Nathan," Haley whispers, tugging at his arm. "Let it go."

Nathan stares at Haley and then at Brooke who nods her head.

Dr. Chan clears her throat, obviously feeling awkward after Nathan's outburst. A nurse comes into the room, handing Dr. Chan a large envelope.

"Thank you." Dr. Chan said as the nurse left the room. Dr. Chan took a look at the contents of the envelope and sighed.

"It's my test results isn't it? It's bad right?" Brooke asked already knowing that her day was about to get worse.

"Well, we could only take so much of your right ovary to help you preserve fertility and there was some we didn't get. It's incredibly small though. About the size of a pen tip. We can start the chemo again which should send it into remission."

"You didn't get all of it?" Nathan shouted, his earlier anger rising again. "She is eighteen years old! You can't say you'll get out the cancer and leave some! Your fucking with her life!"

"Nathan, stop. It's okay." Brooke said gently.

"No, it's not okay Brooke! You may be okay with it and Haley may not say it out loud but I know she's thinking it! The surgery was supposed to help you get better! So that you wouldn't have to go back through chemo and could put all of this behind you! But these god damn doctors can't get it right when they say 'REMOVE CANCER'! It's fucked up!"

"This whole situation is fucked up Nathan!" Brooke shouted. She knew Nathan was angry, hell she was angry btu she didn't need to hear how fucked up it was. It was already real enough for her.

"Brooke, I can understand if this is making you mad and uncomfortable but this isn't right." Nathan said sending a glare to Dr. Chan.

"Nathan stop it! Brooke doesn't need you yelling at her doctor! It's not going to make the situation get any better! Now sit your ass down and keep quiet until we leave!" Haley barked.

Nathan shut up, knowing that Haley didn't yell and that when she did she meant business and he wanted to stay married.

"Sorry for the interruption. Continue Dr. Chan." Haley said much more calmly.

"Would you like to restart the chemo?" Dr. Chan asked Brooke.

Brooke just sighed and nodded her head. Without another word to anyone, she turned the tv back on and got absorbed into the crappy infomercial that she was watching.

Dr. Chan took that as her cue to leave. "I'll get back to you on your chemo date." And with that, Dr. Chan left the room.

"Can you guys leave me alone for a bit. I need to process this." Brooke said, not taking her eyes off the tv.

"Of course." Haley said, patting her friend's shoulder as she got up. "We'll come back tomorrow."

HAley grabbed Nathan and left the room leaving Brooke alone.

Still staring at the tv, Brooke let everything soak in. She had just had surgery to remove cancer from her body. She had just been told there was still cancer in her body. The cancer would make her feel ill just like the medicine she took to get rid of the cancer would.

She was supposed to get better. Hell, she wasn't supposed to **have** cancer. She was supposed to be gossiping about people and cheerleading and talking shit about Peyton. She was supposed to be at school. She was supposed to be 18.

But instead she was dying. She was alone and she was dying.

And just like that, Brooke dropped her head, sobbing even more than she already had been. She was tired of life. She was worn out and didn't want to do it anymore. It was all becoming too hard.

"Why are you in here Brooke?"

Brooke's head shot up, tears still spilling out of her eyes at a rapid speed, to look Peyton straight in the eye.

"I ran into your parents and informed of your surgery. What's going on?" Peyton asked extremely worried and extremely scared.

Brooke looked at her oldest friend and knew she couldn't lie to her. There was no way she could. This would hurt Peyton just as she had hurt Brooke, except, this would hurt Peyton ten times more. And as much as she wanted to spare Peyton that pain, she had to tell her.

So, taking a deep breath and wiping her cheeks even though they are immediately streaked with tears again, Brooke answers Peyton's question.

"I'm dying."


	12. Damn Regret

Hey all! Happy Holidays to everyone!! This is my holiday gift to all you guys, which is why I added some Brucas fluff in this chapter! I hope you all like the chapter! Although the ending might dissapoint you guys(sorry!) The lyrics I used are "Damn Regret" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Lyrics are in bold and italics. Dream in italics as well. Anywho, please read and review and Happy Holidays to all!!! Without further ado, the story:

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :( but Bryan Greenberg is on my X-mas list ;)

"What?" Peyton asked, dropping the bottle of water that was in her hand.

"I have cancer." Brooke sniffed, wiping her cheeks with her sheet

"No, no no no. You don't have cancer. Don't lie to me Brooke." Peyton said, practically yelling at Brooke.

"I'm sorry Peyton." Brooke said. She had definatly been mad and bitter towards Peyton but she didn't deserve this at all. She didn't deserve someone else leaving her. She didn't need someone else with cancer.

"Is this why you wanted me to be with Lucas?!" Peyton asked, it all finally clicking. "Was all of the stuff we've-you've done these past months motivated because you think your dying?!"

By now Peyton was in tears, clutching on to the door knob for support.

"Don't yell at me Peyton! I don't need this right now!" Brooke said, getting mad. She didn't need this, not from Peyton.

"Were you going to tell me?"

"When the time was right." Brooke said calmly.

"When? When you were dead? When would there be a right time to tell me you have _cancer_ Brooke?!" Peyton shouted, angry and sad all at the same time.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you Peyton!" Brooke tried to shout again but it only brought on discomfort. "I got the surgery to get rid of the cancer but they didn't get all of it so I'm restarting the chemo."

They were both quite, just as they had been in the car the day they resumed their friendship. Brooke had turned her attention back to the tv, extremely tired once again. Peyton just stood there processing everything.

"Can I just ask you one thing?" Peyton asked as Brooke looked at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Brooke sighed. Peyton could connect everything else together except this? "I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to think that you were loosing another person in your life."

Before Peyton can respond, a nurse taps her on the back.

"Visiting hours are over Miss." the elderly nurse said with a smile as Peyton dried her tears and forced a small smile.

"Okay." Peyton said before turning her direction back to Brooke. "I'll talk to you later."

Brooke just nodded, Peyton turning away to leave. The nurse comes in when Peyton leaves checking Brooke's vitals.

"She seemed like a nice girl. A friend of yours?"

"My best friend." Brooke said trying to smile.

"Did you tell her?" The nurse asked gently. With that Brooke's tears started up again, the nurse pulling her into a hug.

"It'll get better sweetie. You wont have to say goodbye." she said, rocking Brooke back and forth as she cried.

Peyton got home and immediately locked herself in her room.

Brooke didn't tell her because she didn't want to hurt her but keeping it from her just made it hurt even more.

With everything that happened with Ellie, Brooke thought this would be better? Was she on crack when she made that decision? Although, Brooke was probably still mad at her so she was with holding the information. And since they weren't friends at that time, Brooke wasn't obligated to tell her.

"Damn it!" Peyton yelled, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. That's how shitty a friend she had been. Her friend had **hated** her. Only now was she discovering that she had cancer. **Cancer**. She hadn't realized something was wrong.

Well, she had suspected something but did she ever ask her about it? No. Yet here Brooke was, still being a good friend by keeping pain away from her. By pushing her towards her heart's desire. To put her own feelings aside. And Peyton just took it. Took the easy in.

That's when the tears really started coming. Peyton spent the whole night locked up in her room crying. By 3 am she finally cried herself to sleep, her pillowcase soaked with tears of pain and worry and sadness.

_**The moon is shining bright,**_

_**The mood is feeling right.**_

_They walked in from the beach, his hands on her hips as she lead them through the crowd of drunk people. It was a full moon, hanging high above the beach house probably only enhancing the mood. But, it was hard **not**_ _to get into the mood when they were together. They were two sparks waiting to ignite._

_**I'll kiss you on your neck,**_

_**People'll stare but we won't care.**_

_He kissed her neck, causing a devious giggle out of her, which only got him more aroused. Everyone stared at them, not believing they were together in light of everything that had happened but it didn't matter. They were finally getting back to were they had been._

_**We're high above the ground,**_

_**We're nowhere to be found.**_

_They were up in the master bedroom that was located on the third story of the beach house. Haley or Nathan was probably looking for them, separately of course, neither knowing that they had gotten back together. Which, for right now was exactly what they needed. Time to be together alone, without the people closest to them knowing, who would most likely judge them. To hell with what others thought, it didn't matter. But with Nathan and Haley, their imput counted and although it wouldn't stop them from continuing, it would definatly put a damper on their found again relationship._

_**Empowered by adrenaline,**_

_**Feel like I'm born again,**_

_**Again, I am repeating myself,**_

_Adrenaline was racing through out their body as they tore of each others clothes off. Once they had gotten rid of their top layer, she pushed him on to the bed lowering herself between his legs. _

_He found himself repeating "Oh god, oh god" numerous times, loving every moment of being back with her. Loving what she was doing to him. And she was loving her effects on him as well. The power she had over him._

_**And I know it is gone for you,**_

_**To sit and pretend.**_

_Neither one could pretend anymore. They couldn't sit next to each other in English and ignore the glances they stole. Or the electricity they each felt when their hands would accidentally touch when he leant her paper. Or when she would pick up his fallen pencil, and place it on his desk with that warm smile that reached her eyes. Or how they each leaned into each other when they hugged. And all those times he had place kisses on her head._

_There could be no more pretending that those feelings didn't exist._

Brooke and Lucas woke up from their shared dream in a sweat. Neither one had had a dream of the other since they had broken up.

Lucas leaned against his headboard,trying to make sense of the mess that he made of his life. He just wished she was there to make it all better, like she had done before.

_**I'm wishing you were here, **_

_**My weakness is my fear.**_

But, his fear, which was definatly one of his bigger weaknesses, of being with her again got in the way of calling her. He wanted to be with her, he had told her that in English 4 days ago. He was scared shittless though. He was afraid of hurting her yet again if she reconsidered them.

_**Alone I am myself,**_

_**No reason, life for me to care.**_

Instead of facing his fear, he sat there alone. In his room when he could be with her.

He was distracted for a moment, hearing his Mom get up and go into the kitchen, eating probably another pickle and grapefruit, her latest cravings.

_**Distracted by the sound,**_

_**I hear footsteps all around. **_

All he had to do was call her cell phone. He looked at his clock and it was only 11:30.

She looked over at her clock, it reading 11:31. She sighs, wanting to pick up the phone and call him, knowing he'd make it all better. She was feeling alone, when she really shouldn't.

_**You're the only one I turn to, **_

_**When I feel like no one's there. **_

She had Nathan and Haley, her parents, and when Peyton finally came to terms with it, she'd have her too. But none of them could give her the hope that he gave her. He always gave her the power to pull forward, to keep going.

She sighed yet again, feeling so incredibly tired but knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep until she talked to him. She picked up the phone and dialed the all too familiar number.

He laid there contemplating on whether or not to call her when his cell phone started vibrating on his bedside table. He looked at it with confusion on his face.

_Who is calling now?_ Lucas wondered until he looked at his cell phone. He smiled and answered.

They didn't say anything. She knew that he knew it was her. She knew he was most likely smiling and he knew she wasn't. That's when he dared to speak.

"What's wrong Pretty Girl?" he asked gently, wanting to reach out and touch her. Comfort her.

She shook her head, holding back some tears.

"I'm tired." she responded, not really answering his question.

He isn't sure how to respond to that so he leaves it be. This silence isn't what they need but for now it's all they can give to each other.

This time, she breaks the silence. "It'll get better right?"

He has no idea what she's talking about, but he knows asking why isn't what she needs to hear. "Of course. I promise you it'll get better."

_**And when I'm lonely in my darkest hour,**_

_**You give me the power, **_

_**To sit and pretend.**_

She releases the breath she didn't realize she was holding, comforted by the answer. It comforted her more than the doctors words, more than Haley and Nathan's, more than her parents'. She knows it isn't true, but it's enough to help her pretend for a while.

He realizes he did well with the answer and is glad he could put her at some ease. It worries him though. There is obviously something wrong with her but she wont open up to him.

_**Damn regret, I'll try to forget. **_

_**Don't worry about me,**_

'**_Cos I'm real fine. _**

Almost sensing his brooding she says "Don't worry, I'm fine."

He releases a small chuckle and he knows that she is smiling on the other end of the phone now.

_**Cast my line,**_

_**To see what's behind.**_

They sit in silence again, each remembering what they had. She knows that he is still worrying which is what she doesn't want for him.

"Let me go Luke. It'll be better when you do." she said gently. It wasn't what she wanted but it would be better for him in the end.

_**Did you think you persuaded me to let you go? **_

"Let you go?" he questions her, making her saying it again.

"Forget it Luke. Forget me. It'll be easier for you in the long run." She wishes she could tell him but she can't. Partly because of the cancer that is eating away at her body and partly because she's still hurt. She doesn't want to keep hurting, but it just doesn't seem to go away.

"It'll only be harder if I let you go Brooke. You know that." he said, knowing exactly what she is doing. She had opened up a bit, that proven by the fact that she had called him. Knowing that it'd be hard to come back from that, she was closing herself off, trying to persuade him to let her go. But, he wasn't going to let her do that.

_**Did you think I forget? **_

_**Did you think I surrender myself to persuade you to let me go? **_

"Don't shut me out Brooke. Let me be your friend, at least." Lucas offered, tears streaming slowly down her cheeks. She was giving in to him. He was breaking her but she couldn't let him. She couldn't be friend with him. It'd only hurt more in the long run. It'd hurt them both too much.

The next thing Lucas heard was the dial tone.


	13. Hello, I Need You

Hey all! Well, I wanted to update one last time in '06 so here it is! the lyrics is 'Hello, I need You' by Michelle Featherstone. Lyrics/thoughts/flashbacks are in italics, I'm guessing your all smart enough to figure out which is which lol. I don't like the begining of this chapter that much but its all I got lol. I intended to make this chapter longer but as its getting closer to '07 i thought i'd put it up now. It can pretty much stand on its own. So, another update should be up soon, probably at 2 in the morning since i'll be up lol. Anyways, thanks for the reviews!!! Hope everyone has a happy new year!!!!

"What crap is this?" Brooke asked, as Peyton turned up the stereo.

"It's not crap." Peyton said point blank.

_Did I not make myself clear _

_I pushed you away _

_& though I tried to write my life on this page _

"Let me rephrase that. What is _this_?" Brooke said curtly.

"_This_ as you put it, is Michelle Featherstone."

"The one who played at the Naley wedding?" Brooke asked taking in the words of the song.

"Yep. I think that you need to take the song into consideration." Peyton said knowing full well what she was doing.

_you are still here _

_Perhaps I never understood _

_Your initial touching _

"Really? Because it makes me want to kill myself." Brooke said before adding, "Are you too impatient for the cancer to do that?"

She meant it entirely as a joke but Peyton shot her the worst look. "That is **_not_** funny Brooke. Not at **_all_**." Peyton said, so serious that it scared Brooke. "Don't say that again."

Brooke just nodded sheepishly, feeling bad. Peyton was taking it really hard. She wasn't able to see Brooke again until the day Brooke was released from the hospital. And even then she broke down crying. By 2 weeks after the surgery Peyton could be in the room without fully breaking down. After a month she could act some what normal around Brooke. And now, after 2 months, she was back in full Peyton mode, minus the cheating best friend part but plus the major mood sing when the cancer was mentioned.

_I'm so sorry _

_There is something that I must say _

_Hello, I need you _

"So," Brooke said clearing her throat, "Why should I think about this song?"

"Because you are doing this with Lucas." Peyton said. Peyton had been hell bent on getting Brooke and Lucas back together, much to Brooke's dismay. Plus, Haley was in on the plotting, thinking it was a wonderful idea as well. Brooke was just waiting for one of them to get her mom in on it.

"Doing what?" Brooke asked, a bit annoyed.

"This." Peyton said skipping to the end of the song.

_Though I want to hold your hand & make you mine again _

_You had to keep your distance from me _

_Do you have any idea _

_How much this hurts_

"Not following word for word here Peyton." Brooke said, just trying to be difficult. She wasn't stupid. She knew what Peyton was saying.

"Your not that stupid Brooke, but since you want me to spell it out for you I will. You, want Lucas but you keep pushing him away and keeping him at a distance because of everything." Peyton has yet to say that Brooke has cancer. " You made it perfectly clear that you now want nothing to do with him but he is still sticking by you. And we all know that you feel bad for pushing him away, some would even say sorry, for pushing him away because we know how much you need him. Because you keep pushing him away you're both hurting when you both could be incredibly happy but you are just to scared to call him and say 'Hey, I need you. I love you. Blah Blah Blah' and just put you both out of your misery." Peyton said stating the truth. Well, the truth to her knowledge.

Brooke of course chose not to correct her when Peyton said she was to scared to call him. Because she did. She called him the night she told Peyton. She called him the day she had started chemo again. And, she called him when the doctor told her it was getting worse.

"You make it seem like I ignore him completely." Brooke chose to say as the nurse came over to pull the chemo IV out of Brooke's arm.

"Your all done for today Brooke." Ruth, the elderly nurse whom Brooke had become very attached to, said with a smile on her face.

Brooke smiled as well. "Ruth, I know you were listening to the conversation. What do you think Brooke should do?" Peyton asked as Brooke shot her a glare.

Ruth chuckled, still smiling, before she answered. "He sounds like he cares for you a lot Brooke, and you obviously care a lot about him. But, you shouldn't tell him if you aren't ready. He has hurt you but from what Peyton says, he seems to regret it. So don't keep him in the dark for long. It'll only hurt him more."

"So you think I should wait?" Brooke asked, a bit thrown off by Ruth's opinion.

"I'm saying you should wait, figure out where you both stand and tell him soon." Ruth said as she gave Brooke a pat on the shoulder before walking out of the room.

"Take her advice Brooke." Peyton said as she packed up her things.

Brooke just sighed, shaking her head, as she and Peyton walked out of the room.

--------------------

"Hey there girlies." Haley said from the couch as Brooke and Peyton walked in.

"Hey Tutor-mom." Brooke said sullenly. She looked over at Haley who had a bowl of grapefruit balanced on her belly.

"What's wrong?" Haley asked setting the bowl of fruit next to her.

"She's just all emo because everyone is telling her to talk to Lucas and she wont." Peyton answers, closing the door behind her.

"Oh." Haley said simply picking her fruit back up, continuing to eat.

"Oh? All you have to say is 'oh'?" Brooke questions. Haley just shrugged as the phone began to ring. Haley picked up the phone sitting next to her.

"Hello?... What? Yeah, we'll be there soon... Bye." Haley said, getting up off the couch as she ended the conversation.

"What's going on?" Peyton asked as she watched Haley grab her jacket and purse.

"Karen is in labor." she said before screaming, "Nathan get up we're going to the hospital!"

"Are you in labor?" Nathan asked in a daze as he hurried out of the bedroom.

"No but Karen is." Haley said as Brooke and Peyton grabbed their things.

"I thought she wasn't do for another month." Peyton said a bit worried.

"Well, I guess she's gonna be early."

-------------------

"Lucas." Haley called out as the exited the elevator.

Lucas had been pacing in the waiting room for 15 minutes. "Hey. It's about time you got here." Lucas said before he noticed Brooke and Peyton. "Oh... um hey."

Haley rolled her eyes. "What is going on with your mom?" She didn't have the patience for Lucas to be all awkward around Brooke and Peyton right now.

"She's in pain." Lucas said simply. She'd always been so strong in his eyes but when she started screaming bloody murder on the way to the hospital he got so freaked out he almost crashed the car.

"Did someone call Dan?" Haley asked.

Lucas nodded. "He got here 10 minutes ago. He took over for me." he answered before adding 'Thank god.' under his breath.

Brooke, who was at the back of the group was the only one who had heard the last bit and chuckled, making eye contact with Lucas.

"How far along is she?" Peyton asked.

"Umm, I think 6 centimeters. But that was like, an hour ago." Lucas said, smiling at Brooke who was standing behind everyone else. He hadn't seen her that often. She'd been in and out of school, only being there if she needed to be. She looked beautiful, she always did, but she didn't look like her old self. She lost a lot of weight, gotten a bit paler, and her hair looked a little bit thinner. But that didn't change anything, he still loved her and thought she was gorgeous.

He still didn't know what was wrong with her, and seeing her now just got her even more worried. Every time they'd have one of their conversations she'd ask him if it would be alright. Every time he would promise it would be.

"Can we go see her?' Haley asked, taking Nathan's hand in hers. They'd be going through this soon enough.

"Yeah. First room on your left." Lucas said point to the door. Haley nodded and dragged Nathan to the room as Peyton followed. Brooke stayed behind, shifting uncomfortably.

"Are you going to go see my mom?" Lucas asked. Brooke nodded even though she stayed rooted in her spot.

"Do you want to get some coffee first?" Lucas offered.

"Shouldn't you be with your mom?" Brooke asked, smirking a little. She knew that his mom was freaking him out right now and that he needed to get away.

"I shouldn't have to hear my mom go through that." he laughed as they started walking to the cafeteria.

"How have you been?" Brooke asked. When they talked to each other on the phone it never really consisted of much. Just her asking if it'd be okay, accompanied by silence.

"I've been good. Except for today. Today has been too much." Lucas answered, laughing a bit.

They reach the cafeteria and head towards the machines. "I've missed you though." Lucas whispered, causing Brooke to turn and look at him.

"Luke, don't. Please." Brooke sighs as she starts to pull out a dollar from her pocket. She stops when Lucas pulls out a dollar for her.

"I'm sorry Brooke." Lucas said, pushing the dollar towards a hesitant Brooke. Brooke warily took the dollar, thanking him as she did so.

"I do miss you Brooke. And I'm only telling you this now because I know you can't hang up on me." Lucas said with a smile, buying his coffee as Brooke gets a water.

They go over to a table and sit down, Brooke never once looking at Lucas. If she does, he'll read her and know how much she wants to be with him too.

"I know that I was horrible to you but I can't keep doing the calls Brooke. They aren't enough. I want to at least call you my friend Brooke."

Brooke looked up at him, her expression so sad. He gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, looking sad himself.

"The last time we were friends you kissed me." Brooke mumbled shivering slightly at the close contact.

"I wont do that again Brooke. Unless you want me. I at least want to be friends." Lucas pleaded.

"We can't be just friends Lucas. We've never been just friends. There's always been something there." Brooke said.

"Which means something is always going to be there." Lucas said quietly as Brooke looked into his eyes. He was doing it again. Just as he did whenever they 'talked'. He was trying to get back in. Sure she couldn't hang up on him face to face but she could walk away. And that's exactly what she did.

"Thanks for the water Lucas." Brooke said in a mono tone voice as she walked away, leaving the half empty bottle of water on the table.

----------------------

Brooke had wandered over to the nursery only to find Peyton there.

"Hey." she said weakly, causing Peyton to look over at her. "She wasn't born yet right?"

"I wish. Lucas was right. Karen is in a lot of pain and isn't nice... at all." Peyton laughed as she turned her gaze back towards the babies.

Brooke stood next to Peyton, looking on as well. The moment was bittersweet. She loved looking at all the babies. They were just starting out. Had so much to do in life. One of them could be the future president. The one next to him could be an actress and the one next to her could rediscover the 9th planet.

Brooke would probably never stand there looking in on her child. She'd be lucky if she did. But since she was expecting a call that would ultimately decide that for her, there was almost a guarantee that she wouldn't stand there and beam down at her own child.

"You'll have a baby Brooke." Peyton said, sensing what Brooke was thinking.

Brooke forces a small smile even though she is dying on the inside. Haley walks up to them, trying to keep the fake smile on her face.

"Is Nathan still watching me?" she asked, the smile still present on her face.

Peyton and Brooke both look behind her and shake their heads no.

"Thank god!" Haley said as she released a huge sigh. "There is no way in **hell** I can go through that."

Peyton laughed as Brooke rubbed Haley's back.

"Should've thought about before you got pregnant." Peyton said as Haley shot her a glare.

-----------------

"Hey there Madison." Karen cooed to her newborn daughter. Dan stood over her taking in the sight of his niece. Lucas sat in a chair by the window looking absolutely horrified.

"Why don't you go tell the others that they can come back Lucas?" Dan asked after seeing the expression on Lucas's face. He just nodded, happy to get out of the room. His mom wanted him to be in the room and he wanted to be there for her but that was the worst experience he ever had with is mom. No one should watch there mother give birth.

Ever.

Lucas walked into the waiting room where the others were waiting. Brooke saw him first. He looked tired and worn. He had walked with his head down, rubbing the back of his neck . He looked up to see Brooke first, smiling a little. She returned the smile despite her best efforts. Haley was asleep on Nathan's shoulder and Peyton was enthralled in her ipod. Nathan looked up to see Lucas.

"Well?" he asked, gently shaking Haley's shoulder as Brooke tapped Peyton's leg. Haley woke up in a bit of a haze. She looked over at Lucas and smiled as Peyton looked at Lucas as well, taking her head phones out of her ear.

"It's a girl." Lucas said, his smile getting bigger. It finally hit him that he had a little sister.

"That's great!" Peyton said genuinely happy for Karen and Lucas... and well, maybe a bit happy for Dan.

"Can we see her?" Haley asked excitedly.

"Yeah. It's supposed to be only 2 at a time but as long as we don't walk together they wont notice."

"Us first!" Haley said perking up.

Lucas, Nathan, and Haley walked back into the room to visit Madison while Peyton and Brooke gathered up their stuff.

"Hey." Peyton said causing Brooke to look at her.

"You'll be okay in there right?" Peyton asked. She didn't want Brooke to have a meltdown if she held the baby.

"I'm fine Peyton. I'll be fine." Brooke said with a smile. She wasn't going to let herself break down.

They walked back into the room. Karen looked extremely tired as she laid on the bed but had the biggest, goofiest grin on her face. Dan looked actually happy for once. Nathan just looked at his wife who had his new cousin in her arms. All he could think about was no matter how unprepared they thought they were, they were ready for their son to come. Haley looked somewhat scared and happy all at the same time. She was going into a story about Lucas's middle name and how she hoped that Karen gave her a decent one.

"Her middle name is Katherine, Haley. Don't worry." Karen said with a laugh as she noticed Brooke and Peyton standing by the door.

"Brooke! Peyton! Come in."

They both walked closer looking at the small bundle in Haley's arms. "Do you want to hold her?" Karen asked and Peyton nodded eagerly. Haley carefully gave Peyton Madison.

"Hey there baby girl." Peyton said looking down at the small baby. She couldn't help but miss Jenny and Jake. Yeah she hadn't been around Jenny when she was this little but Jenny had been pretty small when she first met her. She played with her and fed her and bathed her and did everything with her. Even though Jake constantly reminded her that she didn't have to do this, she wanted to. She loved Jenny more than anything. Maybe it really was Jake that she loved.

"She's beautiful Karen." Peyton said, snapping out of her trance. Peyton turned towards Brooke to pass Madison off but Brooke was a little apprehensive.

"Do you not want to hold her?" Peyton asked to which Brooke immediately shook her head.

"I've just never held a newborn before. I mean, I've held Jenny and what not but she was 6 months old. I'm just afraid I'll... drop her." Brooke responded truthfully.

"You wont drop her Brooke." Karen said laughing a little. "You'll be fine."

With that Peyton pass Madison on to Brooke. When she finally got settled into Brooke's arm she woke up and let out a little wail.

_Of course she starts crying when I get her_ Brooke thought when instinct took over. Madison's cry got a little louder and Brooke immediately pulled her close and started rocking her gently back and forth.

"Shshsh, it's okay Madison." Brooke whispered softly, surprising the whole room. Nobody would have figured Brooke to be so...maternal.

"Your a natural Brooke." Karen said.

But, Lucas wasn't as shocked. He knew Brooke had it in her. When they had had the pregnancy scare during junior year he had almost walked in on something extremely private for Brooke.

_Lucas walked up the stairs to Brooke's room. He was about to go in when he heard Brooke talking._

"_Okay, according to that damn pee stick I'm pregnant. Which means that you are going to be meeting me in 9 months." Brooke sighed rubbing her flat belly._

"_I know for a fact that I am not ready for you. Your dad... well he is probably more capable of raising you than I am. But, I'm going to try my best. Because that's what you deserve. Certainly not your stupid bro-hoe father. But, since pushing him out isn't an option, I'll just have to pray that you don't inherit the cheating gene." Brooke said, checking her outfit out in her mirror, her eyes fixating on her belly._

"_But, if your a girl we'll do sorts of fun things. Like shopping and dress up and we'll go to the park and then you can become a cheerleader and not get pregnant at 16." Brooke said as she grabbed her jacket._

"_And if your a boy then I guess I'll have to get used to playing in the dirt with you. And I suppose I'll have to brush up on basketball skills because if you are anything like the Scott's you'll be playing basketball as soon as you come out. But, if I have to get dirty in order for you to have fun then that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." Brooke said, rethinking her last sentence._

"_That sounded a bit on the sexual side but you know what I meant." she said, slipping on her jacket._

"_Oh my god." she said, her jacket half way on. Lucas first thought that maybe she had spotted him. That's when Brooke continued her sentence. "I am talking to my belly."_

_He heard her sigh once more and that's when he decided to knock on her door and take her to the doctors._

He looked at her, taking in the sight. She was smiling her big dimple smile and cooing at Madison. She looked up and her eyes met with Lucas's. They were both smiling at each other like crazy which didn't go unnoticed by Peyton.

Peyton shoved Haley slightly and nodded to Lucas. Haley looked at Lucas and then at Brooke.

"It's only a matter of time." Haley whispered to Peyton as Brooke gave Madison to Lucas.


	14. I Want To Be The Boy

So this is my very short update for the day(and I got it posted a little past 2.. go me!). I had originally planned on this to go with the other chapter but I didn't have the Baley scene written out( not too happy with that btw). Anyway, I have been waiting since like the third chapter to post the part ofter the asterics lol So I hope you all LOVE that part and I honestly think you will. So, next chapter I'm going to try and get posted by firday, not to sure what in all it will entail. Anyways, please read and review!!!:

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing, I unfortunatley did not get Bryan Greenberg for x-mas

"Thank god we are home." Nathan mumbled, half asleep. Madison had been born at midnight and they had stayed for an hour after that. Haley probably would have made them stayed longer if the nurse hadn't came in and kicked them all out.

"Tired Nathan?" Brooke said with a laugh that was followed by a yawn. She was tired too but not nearly as tired as Nathan.

Nathan just grunted and kept walking to the bedroom. Haley waddled her way and plopped herself down on the couch.

"I don't get how you guys are tired." Haley responded, turing the tv on to 'Golden Girls' rerun.

"You are the most energetic pregnant person I know." Brooke said shaking her head as she turned back on her cell phone.

"I'm the only pregnant person you know." Haley said before redirecting her focus on the tv.

Brooke laughed before checking her voicemail.

'_Hello Broke this is Dr. Chan and we got your test results back. Unfortunately it looks like we're going to have to do another surgery..."_

Brooke didn't finish the voicemail before she slammed her cellphone shut. She had been so happy up until that moment. Thanks to Madison, she had even forgotten that she was receiving a call from Dr. Chan. But then she got the voicemail and it hit her like an 18 wheeler. She was having surgery. Again. She wouldn't have kids. Ever. Not biologically anyway.

"What's wrong?" Haley asked. Brooke hadn't even realized that Haley had been staring at her ever since her phone slammed shut.

"I.." Brooke began, her voice cracking, "I have to get the other... surgery." Brooke managed to get out as Haley's face dropped.

"What? Wait does this mean they'll have to do the..." Haley trailed off as Brooke just began nodding her head. She bit her lip to keep from crying but it was no use. She wasn't going to be able to have kids.

"It'll be okay Brooke." Haley said getting up to go hug Brooke.

"It wont be okay Haley. How is this going to be okay?" Brooke asked a little bit angry. She knew Haley meant well but she didn't want to hear about how 'fine' her life would be.

"Your gonna survive this Brooke. That's why you get the surgery."

"Yeah but I'm not going to be able to have kids!" Brooke yelled. It hadn't really hit her till now how much she wanted kids. Madison had definatly put things in perspective for her. At the hospital Brooke had found herself daydreaming about her kids, back when she still thought she could have them.

"You can still have kids Brooke. Maybe not biologically-" Haley began to say until Brooke cut her off.

"Don't give me that adoption crap Haley. Please just save it okay? I don't want to hear how I can adopt from the pregnant 18 year old!" Brooke said, more mean than she had intended.

"Damn it Haley! They're are fucking 50 year olds out there who can have babies, but I can't? How the hell is that fair?! How could I have almost been pregnant last year and now not ever be able to have kids?!" Brooke yelled as tears finally began to pour out of her eyes.

"What do you mean 'almost'?" Haley asked.

"I had a pregnancy scare! After I broke up with Lucas! Haley, I didn't even know for sure if there was a baby, and I had already started talking to my stomach! I was actually sad when the doctor told me there was no baby Haley!!! I wont even get another pregnancy scare Haley!" Brooke cried, not even sure if she was making any sense.

"I didn't know Brooke..." Haley said quietly, feeling horrible for Brooke. She was right it wasn't fair.

Broke was coming down a bit from her anger, but only more sadness was settling in. It hurt to look at Haley. There she was 7 months pregnant and Brooke was going to get her uterus and her remaining half of an ovary removed.

"I can't be here." She sniffled.

"Brooke don't go it's late." Haley said trying to do what's best for her friend. She'd only worry about her if she left but then again, she didn't blame her for wanting to leave. She was pretty much mocking her.

"I can't look at you Haley. I'm sorry but I got to go. I'll call you tomorrow." Brooke said as she grabbed her coat and walked out the door.

Haley just stood there by the island as Nathan walked in. Haley's bottom lip quivered and tears were in her eyes.

"She knows your there for her Haley." he said, wrapping his arms supportively around his wife.

"She can't even look at me Nathan." Haley said a few tears coming down her cheeks.

"She just needs time." Nathan said, praying Brooke would be fine in time.

---------------- 

Brooke walked silently up to his door, debating what to do. He was most likely asleep by now, he had had a hell of a day, but she knew she didn't have the right to walk in anymore.

She sighed to herself and knocked lightly and then opened the door up a little bit, poking her head into the room.

"Luke?" she asked, her voice cracking as she did. She wiped her tears away from her cheeks and then looked at her hand. It was pretty dark in his room but she knew that she had wiped some running mascara off of her check, so she wiped her hand on her jeans.

Lucas stirred a little but didn't wake up.

"Lucas? Broody?" Brooke asked again, daring to say his old nickname but not allowing herself to go in to the room yet.

This time Lucas woke up, squinting towards the door. "Brooke?" he asked. He was pretty sure he was awake but he didn't know why Brooke would be in his room, let alone in the middle of the night.

"Um, can I come in? Please?" she asked, almost as if she were pleading for him to let her in.

"Of course Brooke. You don't need to ask." Lucas said as he sat up. Brooke nodded and made her way into the room, closing the door behind her. She walked slowly over to the bed, biting her bottom lip.

She sat down on the edge of his bed, her back to him.

"What's wrong Brooke?" Lucas asked, getting a little scared. He looked at the clock. 2:47. He hadn't even gotten home until 1:30 after Dan told him to go and get some rest. So, needless to say he was tired as hell but this had to be something big if Brooke was coming to see him at 2 in the morning.

She was quiet for a long time, sniffling a bit. Lucas realized she was crying. Quietly and slowly, she was crying. Lucas didn't know why she was crying but he wanted to make it better. Make her feel better.

He scooted his way next to her, and wrapped his arms around her. She flinched a little at his touch, but then relaxed the best she could in his arms.

"Brooke, baby, what's wrong?" Lucas asked again, concern and worry dripping from his voice.

"I know that we aren't together anymore, " Brooke began to say slowly and quietly, " but can you just hold me tonight Luke?"

"Anything for you." Lucas said as she nodded her head and shrugged off his arms. He was taken back by this, but then she turned around to look at him. This was the first time that she had looked at him tonight. Her face was stained with tears and make up, her hair out of place. Her eyes were swollen and her breath was uneven.

She immediately launched herself back into his arms, sobbing hard into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tight. He had no idea why she was crying, let alone so hard, but right now it didn't matter. He just wanted to make it better for her. Make the pain go away. To **save** her.

That's when he realized it. Brooke never really needed saving, but when she did, he wanted to be there for her. He wanted to be the guy to hold her until she falls asleep, and to still be holding her when she woke up. He wanted to stay the guy that she went to when she needed someone.

And in that moment, nobody else existed. It was just him and her. Brooke, just trying to make the pain go away, and Luke, trying to take the pain away from her. There was no Peyton in this situation. There was no one else. Just 2 people who loved each other. Two people who loved each other back. Two people who, for the first time, gave each other their hearts, unconditionally and fully. Two people, who finally trusted each other enough to just let it be.


	15. Tell Me Baby

A/N will be at the bottem this time!

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing, you guys kno that lol

Brooke opened her eyes to a bright sunny room. For a moment she forgot everything. What happened last night, her odd relationship with Lucas, and most importantly, the cancer in her body.

She turned over to see Lucas in a deep sleep next to her. He looked so peaceful and that made her happy. But, then she remembered how she got there.

She couldn't NOT tell him after last night. But she couldn't tell him either.

'_I could just leave. Just run to my parents'. I wouldn't have to deal with a 'morning after'.'_ Brooke thought.

She strongly considered it too. Running away from him and pretending last night never happened.

Then his eyes opened.

"Hey there Pretty Girl." he said quietly with a smile.

Brooke smiled back, almost feeling guilty for wanting to blot.

His hand finds hers and their fingers lace together. He wanted to bring her hand up and kiss it but he can't. Last night did nothing more but confuse both of them. Neither one knew where they stood and he didn't want to screw up what was potentially formed between them.

Brooke knew he wanted a definition of what they were but she couldn't give him one. She wants to be his girlfriend again and he has come so close to breaking her. She can't become his girlfriend again though. She can't become his friend again. She knows how much he cares about her and if they became friends, they'll kiss and find their way back to boyfriend and girlfriend.

'_If you keep doing this he'll hurt even more.'_ the voice in her head said.

'_But if I tell him he will get mad.' _she said.

'_He would never get mad at you. He loves you.'_

'_If I tell him he'll forget about everything else and focus on me. It's his senior year, he should be having fun not worrying about his dying girlfriend.' _she responded.

'_Maybe you should let him decide that.'_ the voice rebutted.

She snapped out of her argument with herself when Lucas removed his hand from hers. She got a worried look on her face, suddenly aware that she didn't want to be alone.

"I'm not going anywhere." he responded with a smile. He leaned over and leaves a quick kiss on her forehead, hoping that no boundaries were crossed in doing so. His fears were chased away when he noticed the smile on Brooke's lips.

It's hard to look at her smile. He knows it's not fake which comforts him. He could tell when her smile was fake and hated it when it was directed at him. He makes her smile her real smile though.

But, behind the smile he knows something is wrong. He's been worrying about her for months. Despite how glad he was last night when she came to him, it made him only more worried. She'd been a mess. She had finally cried herself to sleep at 4, but he didn't allow himself to fall asleep till 5. He wanted to make sure she was sleeping well and was fine. Well, as fine as she could be.

When his head returned to his pillow, she cupped his cheek in her hand.

"Thank you." she whispered, truly grateful for being able to run to him last night. She rubbed her thumb softly across his cheek and smiled again when he closed his eyes. He placed his hand atop of hers and she stops moving. He opened his eyes and stares straight into hers. He sighed and removed her hand from his cheek.

"I can't do this." She looked at him scared. She can't be with him but is felt so good just lie in bed with him. It felt like before, when things were wonderful.

"I can't be in bed with you and do those things with you. Not if you're just going to leave and pretend this didn't happen." he said as he got up from the bed.

"Lucas..." Brooke said gently as she sat up.

"No Brooke. I can't do it. This is **killing** me. You give me so much hope and then you tear it to shreds. You know how much I care for you and how much I love you. And I know you feel the same way." Lucas said. His anger wanted to come out but instead his voice was filled with sadness.

"You say that we can't associate because of our 'issues', whatever the hell they are, but I know for a fact that's not why you keep pushing me away. You are hiding something from me and I'm worried out of my fucking mind! **THAT** is why you wont come back to me. It's not any past issues we had. It's not because you're afraid of hurt or Peyton. It's because you don't want to let me in!" Lucas said noticing that Brooke had a few tears running down her cheeks. He wanted to comfort her and tell her he was sorry but he couldn't do that. Then they would be exactly where they started.

"You're wrong." Brooke said, wiping away her tears. He looks at her confused and she continues. "It is because I'm afraid of hurt."

His expression softens a bit. "Brooke, I don't know how else to show or tell you that I won't hurt you again."

Brooke laughed slightly and shook her head. "I know you wont Broody. That's not what I meant." He is confused again. "I'm not afraid of being hurt... I'm afraid of hurting you."

He smiled and looked at her like she was a little bit crazy. "The only way you hurt me is by pushing me away. By not letting me be with you."

" Lucas, I'm doing you a favor." Brooke said, trying to make him see. Male him understand.

He wasn't getting it.

"Will you just stop it?! Stop doing me any favors! Stop protecting me! Let me make up my own god damn mind!" Lucas yelled.

She was about to throw a comeback at him when a wave of nausea hit her.

"Oh god." Brooke mumbled, her hand firmly placed around her mouth as she ran to the bathroom.

It happened so fast that it took Lucas a minute to register what was happening. He walked over to the bathroom where he heard Brooke reliving her last meal. He opened the door and immediately went to Brooke. He held back her hair, the thinness shocking him. Brooke had always had such thick hair.

Brooke dry heaved once after she completely emptied her stomach. "God." she mumbled as Lucas released her hair. She started to push herself off of the ground when she saw his hand. Just like the night of Winter Formal, she looked at him wearily before finally placing her hand in his.

When she was back on her feet, he handed her a spare toothbrush.

"Are you sick?" Lucas asked, sitting down on the tub's edge.

'_You have no idea.'_ she thought.

'_Why would he? It's not like you tell him anything. It's not like you trust him or anything.'_ the little voice responded.

'_I do trust him!'_

'_Then tell him!'_

"Brooke?" She is pulled out of her thoughts by his voice. He is looking at her via the mirror. She meets his eyes and they can both feel how worried they are.

She turned her gaze away from him to survey her appearance. Her hair is ridiculously thin, flat, and messy. She has dark circles around her swollen eyes and her skin is white.

She looked like crap.

He thought she was beautiful.

"Brooke, what's wrong? **_Please_** tell me." Lucas pleaded. He stood up and walked the short distance to her.

She closed her eyes. "You don't want to know."

"Brooke, **_please_**. You are scaring the crap out of me."

On her eyelids a slide show starts. First, Haley appears in front of her. Her hands are resting on her large stomach at the island in her kitchen. She looked exactly like Brooke had last seen her. Her blond hair was cascading down her shoulders. She was wearing a plain black shirt and blue jeans, looking much more happy than when Brooke had yelled at her. Patting her large belly, she smiled at her and opened her mouth to talk.

Second, she saw Peyton standing in front of her in Tric. Her back was facing to her. She had a little girl on her hip and was talking to a man Brooke couldn't identify yet. Peyton turned around to look at her. The small child in her arms, who Brooke now realized was Jenny, was playing with Peyton's mess of curls. She had a Led Zeppelin shirt on along with her jeans and converse. She adjusted Jenny on her hip, Jake walking next to her, placing his arm over her shoulder. They stood there looking like a picture perfect family and smiled at her as Peyton opened her mouth to say something.

Then, she saw Nathan. He was in his Ravens jersey, practicing in the old gym. He threw the ball into the net and then directed his attention to Brooke. He walked over to her, grabbing his bottle of gatorade as he did so. He shook his head as if to say that there was nothing to worry about and smiled before saying those 2 simple words.

She saw her parents next. Her father was in a black suit with a blue shirt and striped tie. Her mom was in a plain black dress similar to the one she wore to Keith's funeral. She was wearing her fur coat and a string of pearls, earrings to match. They were standing in front of her childhood home where they now live. Her father touches the bald patch on his head as her mother smoothed out the crease in her dress. Her father slid an arm around her mother's waist and her mother did the same to her father, as the both smiled at her, opening their mouths to finally guide their daughter in the right direction.

After her parents, she sees Ruth and Dr. Chan, both leaning on the information desk. Ruth was in her plain white nurse's uniform, her gray hair pulled back in a tight bun. She wore no make up except for the red lipstick that always looked fresh on her lips. She is talking to Dr. Chan about something that she can not hear. Dr. Chan turned to look at her. She was wearing her 'lab coat', 2 pens perfectly nestled into the breast pocket. Her long black hair has tied back at the nape of her neck showing off her moon/sun earrings. They both saw her and smiled, their mouths moving in unison.

Finally, she sees herself. She sees herself in a position she was in this morning. She was in Karen's hospital room holding Madison in her arms. The room is completely empty except for her and Madison. The big difference? She was wearing the same clothes she wore back in junior year when she met up with Lucas to tell her about the impending pregnancy. She looked exactly like she did then too. More meat on her bones, her skin full of color, her hair styled to perfection, still thick as hell. She smiled, rocking Madison in her arms, the last one to tell her what she needed to do.

All at once she heared them say it. They all repeat the same thing, urging her to do it. '_Tell him.'_

"It's really bad Lucas." Brooke started as she opened her eyes which was like opening flood gates. She broke down as she met his eyes in the mirror.

"Please don't hate me. Please just don't hate me." Brooke cried, not sure she could go through with it.

"There is no way I could ever hate you Brooke." he replied, wrapping his arms protectively and supportively around her. He was preparing for the worst.

She took a deep breath and only realized she was shaking when Lucas' grip got tighter around her. She was crying so hard that she felt like she was going to stop breathing at any moment. She felt his hand start to stroke her arm. They never stop looking into each others eyes.

Like removing a band-aid, she told him quickly.

"I have cancer."

He looked at her in the mirror, expecting to see her face trying to restrain a laugh. Instead, he saw even more tears streaming down her face and her bottom lip quiver. Her eyes were completely fixated on him, waiting for a response.

The worst he envisioned wasn't bad enough.

Hey guys! OKay, so I hadn't planned on him finding out in this chapter nor did i think i would finish it this fast but I sat down and just started writing. I really hope I did it justice since this has been a LOOOOONG time com,ing! I know y'all must hate me for leaving it without his full reaction but i couldn't come up with anythign right now. If all goes well, I'll have your next update by Friday! Thanks so much for the review! And please PLEASE review on this chapter. big chapter and i want to know where you all loved it or hated it!


	16. Everything'll Be Alright

Hey everyone so, this chapter turned out to be hard for me to write and i dont think i'd ever be happy with it but this is what i've got lol. Obviously my last chapter was a big thing to follow up andi hope i at least did an ok job. Anywho, um since school isstarting back up soon i don't know when the next update will be up but I promise to have one by next saturday. Thank you everyone for the reviews!!! They really do mean a lot. So, please read and review and i hope y'all enjoy!

DISCLAIMER- I don't own anything

One hundred and seventy one.

The faucet had dripped exactly one hundred and seventy one drops since Brooke last spoke. Lucas had been watching them fall one by one, trying to process what Brooke had just said.

**Can-cer.** Two syllables that were so unbelievably hard to say. Just TWO syllables. It's funny to think that those two syllables, that one simple word, can turn people's lives upside down.

'_How long had something seemed off with Brooke?'_ he thought. '_Since she told Peyton and I to get together. What was that? Like 3 months? Has she known that long?'_

Brooke had been staring at the mirror, watching Lucas stare at the dripping tub faucet. Her crying had slowed to a small whimper in the 3 minutes of silence that had passed. A car drove down the street blaring Diddy's new song from its stereo. The sound waves created vibration throughout the house, and Brooke felt the vibrations from the floor, taking some sort of comfort in feeling them.

The silence was killing her. She wanted him to say something. To tell her what was going on inside that head of his. On some level, she didn't want him to say anything though. Despite what he had said, she was still afraid that he'd be angry at her- that he was angry with her.

"How long?" His voice came out shaky and low. She hadn't expected this. At all. As a matter of fact, nobody had asked her this first before. Not regarding the cancer anyway. He looked up and met her gaze in the mirror.

She pushed her eyebrows together, confused, not completely sure if she heard him right. "What?" Her voice had come out just as shaky as his, her bottom lip had stopped quivering momentarily.

"How long?" His voice had come out less shaky, more confident in the words that left his mouth.

"I.. uh..." She wasn't sure how to respond to this. Her bottom lip had started to quiver again as she calculated the dates in her head. He, despite the 3 minutes of silence, was too impatient to wait for her to answer.

"When you told Peyton to date me..." he paused, "did you know?"

Unsure if she could form another word, she nodded her head, closing her eyes so she wouldn't have to see his reaction.

"And your just telling me _now_?" He was boring holes into her and she could tell that he was trying not to yell or let his anger show.

He knew that this wasn't what she needed but _three months_? And he was just finding out now? He _loved_ her and she 'loved' him. There was no way that he was the first to know. He assumed Haley knew, but he couldn't be mad at her for that, she had kept mum about his HCM. Did Nathan? Peyton? Her parents?

Her parents. He had heard they moved back. And judging from what he's heard about them, it didn't sound good for Brooke. "How bad?" He was trying with all his might not to yell.

She took in a deep breath and bit her bottom lip to try and slow the quivering. "Bad." She was clutching on to the sink for dear life afraid she would fall if she let go. "I... I, um... I'm having another surgery."

"When?" '_What is with all his fucking questions?'_ Brooke thought franticly.

"I dunno yet." She felt sick again and her stomach was starting to hurt. She opened her eyes to see him open his mouth for yet another question. "Don't. Please Lucas, just stop." She closed her eyes again, not to shut him out but because the pain was getting worse.

"What's wrong?" he asked, still some traces of anger in his voice. He was concerned. She looked like she was in a lot of pain and he wasn't heartless. Despite how angry he was at her for not telling him, he was still concerned and scared.

"I can't be here." she got out as she let go of her safety net aka the sink, and ran. After spending the whole morning wanting to, she ran out of his house. She had made it to the corner, which wasn't very far considering his house was on the corner, before she had to stop and lean against a tree the pain got so bad.

'_Shit, shit, shit._' Brooke thought as she scrambled to try and find her phone from jacket. When she couldn't find it she started to break down. She was alone and she was in pain, no way of contacting anyone she'd want to.

The tears had quickly started to run down her cheeks when Lucas got to her. He looked at the girl at his feet and sighed to himself. '_I can be angry later.' _He leaned down and scooped her off of the ground. He kissed her forehead once he had her tight in his arms.

"What's wrong pretty girl?" he asked gently, no anger in his voice anymore. Right now he just wanted to make her feel better. He couldn't be angry at her when she needed him the most.

"I.. uh... _shit..._ Cramps." Brooke managed to get out as she held onto Lucas's neck tighter.

"Cramps?" Lucas asked confused as to why they would be causing her so much pain.

"It's a symptom of the cancer. They're worse than regular cramps." Brooke said, as Lucas carried her up the stairs to his room.

He walked into his bedroom and placed her gently on the bed. He pulled the blankets over her as she rocked back and forth, her eyes shut tight. He was about to walk away when he heard her.

"Please don't leave me Luke." she got out, her eyes still closed.

He smiled through the anger and hurt. "I'm getting you some aspirin and gatorade. I'll be back."

He returned 5 minutes later with gatorade and aspirin. Brooke looked like the pain had started to go away.

"Here." He helped her sit up and gave her the aspirin and gatorade. She got the pills down along with a big gulp of gatorade.

"Whew... Thanks." Brooke said as Lucas rubbed her back.

"So, I know your in pain and obviously going through a lot but-" he was silenced by Brooke's hand. She would tell him, she had to. She owed him that. But she couldn't look at him.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner, you shouldn't have been the last to know and I wasn't going to put it off forever." She took a breath after another sip of gatorade. "Ovarian cancer. It um, was supposed to go away with the chemo but it didn't." Brooke said weakly, no cheeriness in her voice, instead it filled with woe.

"So you're having the surgery?" Lucas asked, never once taking his eyes off Brooke. She never placed her eyes on him, instead staring at the door that had been painted red for her.

"I've already had surgery Luke. That's why I was gone for a week." Brooke forced out, a small sad smile forming on her lips. "They didn't get it all."

"What?!" Lucas yelled, now angry at the doctors.

"Please don't go all Nathan on me." Brooke said shaking her head. "You Scott men and your tempers towards doctors."

'_Thank god Nathan has been there for her.'_ he thought.

"They were trying to preserve fertility. Even though I had restarted the chemo, it got bigger and spread. So I'm having another surgery." Brooke finished, tears in her eyes as she leaned into Lucas.

Lucas nodded, taking every little thing in. "I can't even look at Haley, Luke. My best friend and I can't even look at her."

He didn't need her to tell him to understand what she meant, why she came to him last night.

"You'll get through this Brooke." Lucas said as he kissed her forehead again, still rubbing her back.

"How can you say that?" Brooke asked, finally looking up at him, tears falling out of her big brown eyes.

"You're too stubborn not to." Lucas said, a small smile on his face.

She smiled back at him and they sat in a comfortable silence for a minute of or two. "I need to talk to Haley. I yelled at her."

Lucas nodded. "Do you want me to drive you?" She nodded and got up before Lucas motioned for her to sit down. "I'll carry you."

"Lucas," Brooke laughed, "I can walk you know."

"I know that." Lucas started as he picked her up, "But you are still in some pain and I'd feel better if you didn't fall down my steps."

Brooke rolled her eyes, pretending to be annoyed but nestled into Lucas's chest none the less.

------------------

Haley sat at the island eating breakfast with her husband when the door opened to reveal a small Brooke.

"Hey." Brooke said weakly.

"Brooke!" Haley said as she rushed, the best she could since she pretty much waddled now, to Brooke, hugging her immediately.

"I am **_so_** sorry Haley. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I am so sorry." Brooke said, the tears starting up again as she rubbed her best friend's back.

"Brooke, it's fine. You don't have to apologize. I understand." Haley said truthfully. She had freaked out when Brooke left last night and had woken Nathan up and sent him to search for her. When he came back with no Brooke she had stayed up the whole night worrying that she was lying dead in a ditch somewhere.

Nathan stayed at the island, letting the girls have their moment when he looked out the window to see Lucas sitting in his car. Nathan smiled to himself realizing that she finally told him. He got up from his place to the island and slowly made his way into the bedroom to dial a familiar number.

"Hello?" Peyton answered groggily.

"She told him."

"Lucas?" Peyton said suddenly awake.

"Yep. He knows now."

"Thank god!" Peyton said with a sigh.

------------------

"Lucas where have you been? We've been trying to get a hold of you all morning." Karen asked concerned as her son finally stumbled into her hospital room.

"Can I talk to you ma?" Lucas asked before looking at Dan.

"I'll give you some time alone." Dan said excusing himself. Lucas walked towards his mom and sister. He gently picked Madison up, rocking her as she did so. Karen looked at him worried.

"Lucas what's wrong?" He looked up from Madison with tears in his eyes.

"Peyton isn't pregnant is she?" Karen asked unsure if him holding Madison was some sort of clue.

"No mom. Peyton is pregnant."

"Is Brooke?" Karen asked, just to make sure.

"I didn't impregnate anyone mom." Lucas said with a sigh. "But it does have to do with Brooke."

"Lucas, what is it?"

Lucas looked back down to his baby sister a tear falling down his cheek. He sighed and put her back down and went to sit on the edge of his mother's bed.

"Is Brooke okay?" Karen asked, sitting up.

Lucas shook his head. "She's not okay mom. She's sick."

"She's sick?" Karen asked a bit franticly. She was unsure of what he meant by sick.

He nodded his head, more tears coming down his face. "Really sick mom." He hated that he was breaking down but it was all too much. She opened his arms and he fell into them, crying into his mother's shoulder.

"Shshsh. It's okay." She ran her hand down his back trying to soothe her only baby boy.

"It's cancer." Lucas cried. Karen tensed up as soon as she heard the word. "I don't know what to do. I'm angry and sad and worried and... I just... I don't know what to do."

"You're going to be there for her. Your not going to show your anger to her because that is not what she needs at all. She took a chance telling you Lucas, don't screw that up." Karen said, her own eyes filling with tears. "You're going to need to be strong for her. But all you really need to do is love her Lucas. That's what she needs right now. Can you do that?"

Lucas broke from his mother's embrace to look at her like she was on coke. "I've never stopped loving her."

Hearing this brought a smile to Karen's face. "Good. Then you both will be fine."


	17. Here To Go

Hey all! I'm not at all sure how I feel abotu this chapter lol. To me some of the characters seem out of character,but is prolly just me. I've had a busy week while trying to write this and then this one shot idea kept popping up in my head... but thats a whole diff. story lol Anyway thank you all SO much for the reviews! They mean a lot. Next chapter will be up sometime next week, sorry I can't be more specific. ANyway, please read and review! With out further ado, the story:

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing

"Are you sure you don't want Nathan to stay with you?" Haley asked as she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Haley, I'm fine. He should be with you anyway. It is his baby after all." Brooke said as she carefully turned a little to her left on the couch.

"Well do you want us to call Peyton? Your parents? Lucas? Karen? Someone so you're not here alone?" Haley rambled.

Brooke had gotten out of the hospital 2 days ago and Haley had been looking after her constantly. And when Nathan finally told her to get some rest, she ordered him to keep and eye on Brooke. They both loved Haley to death but Brooke hadn't been alone once. When Nathan was 'watching' her they played NBA Live and talked about how 'motherly' Haley had become.

"Peyton's dad came back last night. I want them to hang out today, plus they're coming over later for dinner. My parents left to visit my grandma today so they're out." Brooke said counting off on her hand.

Brooke's grandma had taken a horrible spill a day before Brooke's surgery. So, Mr. and Mrs. Davis had stayed till yesterday much to their disappointment. Yes, Mr. Davis loved his mother dearly. But is daughter was going through a lot too.

But, Brooke didn't want her grandma alone and in pain. So, she told her parents to go for a few days and say that she said hi.

"Karen has a newborn baby and Lucas..." Brooke trailed off. She didn't want Lucas to be there because then they would be forced to really talk. "Lucas should be there to help his mom."

"Well," Haley started but stopped when Nathan put his hands on her shoulders.

"Haley, she is a big girl. She has everything she needs by her. She'll be fine." Nathan said, Brooke silently thanking him.

Haley sighed and finally gave in. "Okay. But call if you need ANYTHING!"

"I will. Have fun you guys." Brooke called as Nathan and Haley left.

Brooke spent the next 20 minutes watching random infomercials, wincing a little every time she made a sudden movement. She considered trying to sleep but that plan was ruined when the phone wrung.

"Hello, Scott residence." Brooke answered.

"Brooke?"

"Oh, hello Dr. Chan." Brooke said, any cheeriness on her face fading.

"I know your still recovering, which is why I want to run some more tests next week to make sure everything is okay."

"Next week?" Brooke questioned gloomily.

"That's correct."

Brooke sighed. "No."

"I'm, sorry?" Dr. Chan asked not sure if she heard correctly.

"Next week is prom. I want my prom to be as happy as possible. We can do it in 2 weeks if that's okay." Brooke said sternly. She was not about to let that damn cancer run her life.

"That's fine Brooke." Dr.Chan answered. It was always harder with younger cases. She had forgotten Brooke was only 18. "Is the 27th at 2 okay with you?"

"It's fine. I'll see you then." Brooke said before she hung up.

She couldn't just sit there anymore. She sat up slowly and shuffled her way to her sewing machine located on the dining table. She pulled out her half finished prom dress, fingering the material. She sighed. "I'm gonna have to take it in a few inches."

One thing Brooke always loved about herself was her curves. She had a waist, a decent one, not a big, not too small. She had hips perfect for low rise jeans. She had an ass that was perfectly toned thanks to years of cheerleading. She was blessed in the chest region, a perfect D cup.

Now, her boobs had gone down to almost a B, her ass was nonexistent, her hips had gone to hell, and her waist had gotten entirely too small for her.

Working on her prom dress was only making her depressed. So, she shuffled her way into the bathroom. She slowly and carefully discarded er clothing before stepping into the hot shower.

She leaned back into the water, letting it fall over. She grabbed the soap and started to wash herself.

She was disgusted with her appearance which only made her scrub harder. She didn't look like herself anymore. She didn't act like herself anymore. Everyone was so sensitive around her and it was sweet but it pissed her the hell off. She wanted to be normal. She wanted to go to school everyday, she wanted to go to prom without putting off a doctors appointment that would tell her if she still had cancer. She wanted to be a teenager.

"DAMN IT!" Brooke shouted. She ran her hand through her hair quickly, and when she looked at her hand again, there was a chunk of hair in it.

Disgusted, she threw the hair towards the drain and leaned against the shower's wall.

"This wasn't how my life was supposed to turn out." Brooke cried as she slide to the ground. She was so upset that she wasn't even bothered by the fact that she had slid down against some slightly mildewed tiles.

Despite Nathan's objections, Haley called Lucas and asked him to go check on Brooke. Nathan just shook his head, finally giving up on stopping his extremely hormonal wife.

So there Lucas was, on Nathan and Haley's porch. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see Brooke and he wasn't sure if she wanted to see him. So, instead of knocking, he went to go peek through the window.

No Brooke in sight.

That's when he got worried. He went back to the door and knocked. One minute passed.

No sound, no movement, no Brooke.

He knocked again and got the same results. He took out his keys and found the spare that had been given to him.

"Brooke?" he practically shouted once he opened the door.

He didn't hear an answer but did hear the shower running. He quickly shut the front door and jogged the short distance to the bathroom.

He slowly opened the door, pocking his head inside. The room was foggy from all the hot water that had been running. Then, he heard her crying. "Brooke?" he asked wearily. She sniffed and tried to get up but that proved to be too painful.

"Ow." Brooke cried.

Lucas opened the shower door slowly to find and extremely disheveled Brooke.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asked as he leaned into the water flow to turn off the shower. When it was off, he grabbed her towel that was resting on the counter and laid it over her small body. He crouched down to her level, tucking what was left of her hair behind her ear.

Ever so slowly, Brooke turned her head to look at him. Her face was soaked with a mixture of tears and shower water.

"Do I look okay to you?" Brooke asked in the lowest and meanest voice Lucas had ever heard come out of her mouth. If the voice wasn't enough to scare him, the death glare she sent him sure would.

"I have spent the last 7 and a half months in my own little hell. I lost my best friend, my boyfriend, had to watch them BE together, I spelt with my fucking english teacher, made my parents move across the fucking country, piled all my fucking problems on my new PREGNANT best friend and her husband!!!! I've gone through chemo and 2 fucking surgeries! I've lost my ability to have children! Oh, and I've been siting in the same fucking position for 20 minutes because I can't get back up! I'm fucking PEACHY Lucas! What about you?!" Brooke yelled sarcasm and anger dripping from her voice.

He shook his head, lifted her incredibly light body and carried her to the couch.

"Wrap the towel around your body do i can talk to you." Lucas instructed before looking away.

She did as he said, grumbling. "What do you want?"

He turned to face her again. "I'm going to address what you just told me." he said calmly, which cause Brooke to roll her eyes. "You told Peyton to get together with me. Why are you still so upset about that?"

Brooke scoffed. "Are you _that_ blonde? I love you to DEATH Lucas. You're it for me. I don't need to be with anyone else ever. If you really loved me you wouldn't have gone out with Peyton. Do you know how much that hurt? That there was STILL doubt in your heart?"

"Brooke..."

"No, Lucas, I don't want to hear it! I'm tired of your lame ass excuses! I will admit that on some level I wanted you guys to be happy because then if I do go, you 2 will have each other. But they way you both jumped into it... after claiming how much you loved me?"

"You're not going to die!" Lucas yelled louder than he ever had before. "Stop fucking talking like your gonna die! You're still here Brooke, you're still alive!"

"Lucas, as of right now I have no reason to believe that there is any cancer in my body. But when I told Peyton to be with you I did have cancer. I love you both too much. I wasn't going to leave you 2 alone. We both know that if I had died, you would wait for god knows how long because you would both feel guilty. Right now, I am trying to look on the brighter side. I know I'm alive and I'm thankful for it."

He wasn't believing this. It seems like they had gone one huge step forward but now they were 2 steps back.

"Yell at me." Brooke said breaking the silence between them.

"What?"

"You keep everything inside. I know your angry with me but you wont tell me because of all the cancer shit." Brooke said as she met his eyes. "So, let it out. Yell at me."

"Brooke, I'm not going to yell at you." Lucas said to her slowly.

"Yell at me!"

"No." Lucas said simply.

"Lucas, let me in! YELL AT ME!" Brooke said throwing a pillow at him.

"Brooke, stop it!" Lucas said defensively.

"No!"

"Fine! You want me to yell at you? You want me to tell you what's going on inside my head?" Lucas said angrily as he stood up.

"I'm fucking pissed that I was the last one to find out about the cancer! For loving me so fucking much you sure don't trust me a whole lot do you? And you kept leading me on, had me thinking all these great things were going to happen and you always closed back up every time I got close!

And I think that you want me to yell at you because you think that's what you deserve! It's not true Brooke! You think that you should have told me sooner or that you should have just kept everyone in the dark! You think that you got cancer because you did something to deserve it. For being a very friendly person before I met you, for drinking so much. Maybe because you feel guilty about 'stealing' me from Peyton! Or because you think that you're a bad friend or a bad girlfriend! Or that your parents didn't pay attention to you because you were a horrible daughter!" Lucas screamed, hand motions and al. Brooke slowly brought her knees closer to her. He still had the ability to read her mind at time.

"But it's not true Brooke!" Lucas yelled, his tone softening. "You aren't a bad daughter. Your parents love you. You're beautiful, student body president, a wonderful person, and you know how to support yourself. Your parents just forgot how to love you. You are a incredible friend. You've always been loyal to Peyton and still cared about her even when you weren't friend with her. 2 years ago, you wouldn't have looked twice at Haley or Mouth and now your ready to beat someone up for talking shit about them.

You are the greatest girlfriend in the world Brooke. **I** am the shitty boyfriend. I cheated on you, I ignored you when we dated, I closed myself off. When all you did was nothing but be there for me. I shouldn't be yelling at you Brooke. You should be yelling at me." Lucas finished and moved to sit next to her.

He placed his hand on her knee and gave it a small squeeze and sighed.

"Call me when you've digested all of this." he whispered into her ear, kissing the side of her head. "I love you." He got up and started to walk out the door.

"Lucas?" Brooke ventured quietly. He slowly turned around, seeing only the back of her head.

"Why do you love me?" He thought they'd established this. "I know you told me all that random stuff during the storm and that I'm some great person, but Peyton's a great person too. She obviously has great qualities I don't What makes you love me more?"

Her voice cracked and she was sure she'd start crying again, but her eyes were dry. She couldn't look at him though. She knew she had been catching him off guard all day but this is where it counted. He'd opened up to her now she needed to know why. And not because she was a good person or she cocks her eyebrow when she's trying to be cute.

She had asked her father this once when she was younger. It was before her parents started jet setting off to places. When it was just the 3 of them.

"_Daddy," 8 year old Brooke began as she climbed into her father's lap. "Why do you love Mommy?"_

"_Why do you ask Brookie?" Mr. Davis, full head of hair and all, asked the small child, setting down his newspaper._

_Brooke shrugged simply, figuring she didn't need a better reason. But when her father refused to accept that she started to think of a reason._

"_Well, everyone gets to choose that one person Daddy. That they can love and marry and do everything for forever. What was so specially about Mommy? Why not the lady that came before her?" For an 8 year old, that was pretty deep._

_Mr. Davis sighed and twirled a finger through one of his daughter's pigtails._

"_Daddy?" Brooke asked when her father didn't respond for a while._

"_I'm thinking." Mr. Davis said. After about a minute more of silence, he was ready to answer._

"_When I met your Mom, I was in a bad place. The lady before your mom had promised to love me forever. But, when I entered the bad place, the lady left me. Your Mom was brave enough to enter the dark place though. She pulled me out, saved me really, and promised to always stand by me. To always look after me, especially when things got rough. She promised to be my everything. Unlike the lady before, your Mom meant this. Sure, we have our differences and arguments, but she never once turned away. That is why I love and chose your Mom."_

There were no dark places for Brooke and Lucas. There was nothing epic about their romance. They were in high school. What did they know about a love that could last a lifetime? Those were a one in a billion type of thing. It wasn't them. If anything, it was Nathan and Haley.

"Those 3 words don't mean anything if you don't know why Lucas."

She was asking him what Nathan had. Why her and not Peyton.

"Maybe you should go. Call me when you can answer why." Brooke said simply. He lingered there a moment longer before finally leaving.


	18. It's Gonna Be Love

You have no idea how bad I feel for not updating sooner!!! My mind has been all over the place(finals, eek!). So, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, I'm hoping I did good lol. Plus this will make EVERYONE happy in light of all the crappiness that is leyton. PLus, with the recent brucas spoilers, I think we all REALLY need this lol. The song I used was ' Your Guardian Angel' by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. If you ant to see the girls dresses feel free to mesasge me and I'll send you the links! Thank you all SOOO much for the reviews! Especially my loyal reviewers! So, please Enjoy and leave some more reviews! DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :(

"He walked away?!" Haley yelled as she slammed a pot down onto the stove.

"Yeah." Brooke said quietly, taking a seat at the island.

"He couldn't answer why?! You think he'd know since he goes around ranting about how much he loves you!" Haley shouted, starting her macaroni.

"Yeah." Brooke repeated, same tone and all.

"Oh, Brooke I'm sorry." Haley said as she went to go hug Brooke. "These hormones were telling me to yell but I should've been comforting you."

"It's okay. I mean... I didn't expect him to respond. I did catch him off guard, but he should have been able to answer me. He says he loves me so much but if he doesn't know why then why should I believe him?" Brooke said, her bottom lip beginning to tremble.

"It's okay Brooke." Haley said running her hand soothingly down Brooke's back.

---------------------

"YOU WALKED AWAY?!" Nathan yelled as he approached Lucas at the Rivercourt.

"Excuse me?" Lucas asked, pulling his head phones out of his ears.

"She asked you why and you just walked away? What the hell is wrong with you man?" Nathan asked. "I told you to figure out why Lucas. Your just screwing with her now!"

"She caught me off guard!" Lucas tried to defend himself.

"You should have known! Damn it Lucas! My hormonal wife is going crazy over this! Brooke is trying with all her might not to cry over this!"

"I'm sorry alright!!!" Lucas yelled.

"Sorry isn't good enough Lucas! You need to tell her why and soon! She is trying to recover and your just making this worse for her. She almost DIED Lucas! And you can't even answer her that one question?" Nathan asked, calming down. He just shook his head. "I don't want you talking to her until you can answer her."

"Are you telling me what to do?" Lucas asked not believing what he was hearing.

Nathan stepped closer to Lucas, his face getting more serious. "Leave her alone! Or I'll make you leave her alone." Nathan said through gritted teeth. With that, he turned his back to Lucas, walking back to his car.

---------------------

"Brooke, I need you help with the dress." Haley said as she held up her dress by the straps around her neck.

Haley, Peyton, and Brooke had gone over to Brooke's parents house to get ready. Brooke had made their dresses, very proud of herself for finishing them. She had started working on them before she started to go downhill but when ever she was feeling like crap she took them out and went to work.

Haley's was a long tulle halter dress in ivory. She had embroidered a flowery design on it as well, making it look like the flowers were branching upwards. Her straps where solid flowers on a darker material, a very dark purple, almost black. It synched just below her chest showing off her protruding belly. Haley had not been thrilled with the fact that she was going to prom pregnant but as soon as she saw the dress, she couldn't wait to go. And some how, Brooke had made it so it fit perfectly.

Peyton's dress was a floor length strapless gown in black with white polka dots. It was fit tight around her body, but as it went further down it flared out. Brooke had added a red sash around the waist, making Peyton a wrap that matched. At first Peyton wasn't so sure about the polka-dots-to-prom thing but when she saw even the early stages of it she knew it was gonna kick ass. The way it went out at the bottom was perfect, making it seem like she was just a bit taller than she was (not that she needed to look taller anyway).

Brooke was less happy with her own dress. Because she had gotten so thin she needed to take it in drastically and even decided to make the neckline a little higher than she had had it. The dress was a simple shape, clingy to her body where it should and floor length. It was in the perfect emerald green. Despite the fact that she didn't care for sparkles on a dress, she made the straps with sparkles, even adding a design using the fabric around her waist, directly under her now small chest.

Peyton had curled her hair to perfect and Haley let her natural wavy hair flow down over her shoulders. Brooke had gotten a wig, the same color that her own hair had been. Because she hadn't been taking the chemo her hair was starting to grow back in, but not enough for her to show up to prom. She pulled it back in a simple ponytail adding a flowered clip and parting her bangs to the side.

The boys, Nathan, Mouth, and Lucas, where going to pick the girls up soon, allowing time for everyone's parents to take pictures. Mouth was going with Brooke and Lucas with Peyton. Peyton had finally agreed after making sure it was okay with Brooke for the hundredth time.

Brooke walked away from her floor length mirror and over to Haley as she turned around. Brooke tied Haley's straps into a bow making sure it didn't change screw with the front.

"Good?" Haley asked.

"Good." Brooke said, patting Haley's shoulders. Peyton walked out of the bathroom, her make up now done. "Lookin' good P. Sawyer."

"Why thank you B. Davis. You're looking pretty good yourself." Peyton replied as she went to go check herself one last time in the mirror.

"Are we all set to go?" Haley asked as she heard the doorbell ring.

"I think we are." Brooke said, each of them grabbing their wraps and purses.

They walked downstairs, Haley being helped by the other 2, to be greeted by their respective parents, minus Haley's and Deb, and their dates. Each boy looked fabulous in their tux. They were all staring at their dates, Lucas's eye occasionally wandering over to Brooke. Nathan stepped forward, helping Haley step down from the last step.

"You are the hottest pregnant person ever." He whispered into her ear as he hugged her. She laughed and hit him playfully although she thought it was a great compliment considering she was heavily pregnant.

Lucas and Peyton hugged some what awkwardly and then laughed at how awkward it seemed. He took out the corsage he got her and slipped it on her wrist. "You look beautiful Peyton."

"Thanks Luke," she said before lowering her voice, "but I know that you think Brooke is way hotter tonight." Lucas just smiled and shook his head as they both turned to look at Brooke.

"You look awesome Mouth!" Brooke said as she pulled out of her hug with Mouth."

"So do you!" Mouth replied, although awesome didn't do Brooke justice. She looked stunning. He knew that she was most likely feeling awkward about the way she looked, but he couldn't see why.

"OKay, girls get your corsages on and what not so we can take pictures!" Mrs. Davis said as she pulled up her camera.

---------------

Nathan was at the refreshment area, trying to find Haley food. They'd been there for 4 hours already and Haley was going to kill him if he didn't find food soon. He saw Peyton and Lucas talking with Mouth and laughing before Lucas excused himself. Lucas walked over to Nathan, hands tucked in to his pockets.

"Hey." Lucas said some what sheepishly.

"Figure out why yet?" Nathan asked finally spotting a few appetizers.

"I..." Lucas stopped to make sure he was confident with is next sentence. He had a speech prepared for Brooke and was planning on taking the cheesy route tonight, getting up on stage and confessing his love for her. "I am sure I know why I love her."

"Good." Nathan said with a smile. "Now I can stop being such a dick to you." They laughed as Nathan was piling a bunch of appetizers on to a small plate.

"Why don't you just take the tray Nathan?" Lucas asked laughing.

"That'd be rude and Haley would yell at me for being rude." Nathan said with a sigh. Hormones were a bitch during a pregnancy. When he would hear about women being hormonal he thought they were being dramatic. They weren't.

"I think I'm gonna go." Brooke said, slowly getting up from the table.

"What? Why?" Haley asked, concerned.

"They haven't even announced King and Queen yet." Peyton added. Brooke had been planning her prom ever since Peyton met her.

"I'm just feeling tired." Brooke said. "I'm just gonna go home and get some rest."

"Haley and Peyton knew it was for the best. Peyton went over and hugged Brooke. She wanted to mention that her leaving would ruin Lucas' plan, or at least the fact that Lucas thought Brooke looked gorgeous. But, she bit her tongue.

Haley opened her arms, not wanting to spend 5 minutes to get up from her chair. Brooke laughed at this. Both Peyton and Haley were glad to hear it. Brooke had been fairly depressed this last week, barely mustering up enough peppiness for tonight. It was good to get a laugh out of her.

Ending her hug with Haley, Brooke gathered her things and went to look for Mouth. She found him, chatting with Lucas and Nathan. She sighed and walked over.

"Hey." she said quietly once she reached the small group. Mouth and Nathan said hello while Lucas stood there silent.

"I'm feeling kinda tired so I'm gonna go."

"Are you sure?" Nathan asked, seeing Haley wave him over.

"Yeah. See ya at home." Brooke said, hugging Nathan before he went to deliver the plate of food to Haley.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Mouth offered.

"It's fine Mouth. This is your prom too. Stay. Enjoy it."

"It's okay Brooke. Let me just go grab my stuff." Brooke gave Mouth a grateful smile. She could always count on him.

"I'll meet you outside." Brooke nodded. She loved Mouth, but she wanted the blonde haired boy standing across from her to be the one to take her home.

When Mouth was gone, Brooke and Lucas shared an awkward smile.

"Umm, yeah." Brooke said looking at the table before looking back at Luke.

"Bye Lucas." She was walking away. It wasn't because she couldn't be around him or because he sent her away. Until he answered her question she could always walk away from him.

His eyes followed her, wanting to rush after her. But, soon she was lost in the crowd.

"DUMB ASS!" Peyton yelled and Lucas turned his gaze to her. There, he saw Peyton, Mouth, Nathan, and Haley charging towards him.

"What are you still doing here?" Mouth questioned.

"FOLLOW HER!" Haley practically screamed, shoving Lucas.

"Tell her **why**!" Nathan added, pulling Haley back.

"What?" Lucas asked a little dazed as he spotted Brooke walking out the door.

"**GO!**" the all yelled, shoving Lucas towards the door that Brooke had just exited.

Lucas then began to make his way through the sea of people. When he finally reached the door he swung it open, the cold night air hitting him.

He looked around not seeing her at first. But then he saw her, sitting on a bench with her back towards him. It reminded him of the night of the banquet. He wasn't going to let her walk away like she had that night.

"You are the most loyal person I know. You are also the strongest person I know. You don't need saving Brooke, but when you do I want to be the one to save you." He started, his voice full of confidence. She sat up straight at the sound of his voice, but didn't turn around.

"The night Peyton got drugged, you opened up so willingly to me. I didn't have to fight to get you to open up. And I opened up so easily with you. I can be myself around you Brooke. I know you wont judge me. You were right Brooke. My life did change when I made that shot. I met you. You were in the back seat of my car and I drove you home that night. Yeah, I still had feelings for Peyton then, but you had me guessing that whole night." She finally turned around, standing up as she did so.

"So to answer your question, it is because you are Brooke Penelope Davis. You are the love of my life. I've been with you longer than I've ever been with Peyton, and that is because you are who you are. You don't brood. You listen to music I can't stand yet I sit through it because I love you so much." He walked towards her and slid his arms around her waist.

"And because I know you think you look like crap right now. You are wearing a wig because you don't want to be seen with bald spots on your head. But you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. You don't hold a candle to any of those girls." He said, nodding to the gym.

"If that isn't enough to convince you that you are the one for me then I'm not worthy of being the one for you." Lucas said, staring into her eyes.

"I love you." Brooke said for the first time in what seemed like ages. There was no anger or sadness in her voice. No resentment. There were no other words following them. Just a simple I love you. It was music to his ears.

"I love you too." he said, the biggest smile ever gracing his face. She smiled too and laughed a little as she wiped away a tear that had fallen. He lifted her head by her chin, so that their eyes met yet again.

He tucked her bangs back behind her ear, and she softened at his touch. He slowly brought his head down to hers as she brought hers towards his. Their eyes closed simultaneously, finally doing what they've been wanting to do for so long.

They kiss was full of passion, expressing everything that they have wanted to for so long. Lucas deepened the kiss causing Brooke to lean into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms tighter around her small waist, needing to be closer to her.

They pulled out of the kiss slowly, looking at one another, still holding on to each other like their lives depended on it. They were smiling like fools as they heard a song play from the gym.

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

"May I have this dance?" He asked, pulling away from her and extending his hand. Her smile got even bigger, her dimples in all their glory as she put her hand in his. They are close once again as they sway to the music.

_It's ok. It's ok. It's ok._

_Seasons are changing_

_And waves are crashing_

_And stars are falling all for us_

_Days grow longer and nights grow shorter_

_I can show you I'll be the one_

As another verse passed, she rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in his cologne. It was just the two of them. Brooke had pushed the fact that Mouth had purposely gone to the table to leave her and Lucas alone to the back of her mind, even though she would be thanking him tomorrow. And Lucas pushed the thought of the group ambushing him to the back of his mind, also thinking of how he would thank them tomorrow. He had had a big plan laid out to confess his love for her but this had turned out even better. It was just the two of them which was enough for both of them.

"I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all. Even if saving you sends me to heaven." Lucas sang horribly into Brooke's ear. She laughed, causing his smile to get even bigger. He pulled her closer. " Cause you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart. Please don't throw that away. Cause I'm here for you. Please don't walk away. Please tell me you'll stay."

She snuggled in to his chest, moving her head so it rested into the crook of his neck. She ran her thumb over the nape of his neck in the spot that she knew he loved.

"Use me as you will. Pull my strings just for a thrill. And I know I'll be ok. Though my skies are turning gray." Lucas sung, his voice cracking a bit, electing another laugh out of Brooke.

"You don't have to finish singing Broody." She said though her laughter. "Thank you for singing though. A cat may have died from hearing it but it was beautiful."

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

"Thank you Cheery," he responded before mentally adding, '_for everything.'_


	19. Wonderful Tonight

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! This chapter is a filler chapter really, before the drama starts back up again. It's kinda fluffy and def. not my best work (i found it extremely hard to write this chapter actually lol) but its good enough lol. So, please read and review and the next chapter should be up in about a week since i'm finally done with finals! Without further ado, the story: DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :( 

"Do you want a ride?" Lucas asked as they stopped walking in order for Brooke to take off her shoes.

"No, I'm fine. I can walk." Brooke said, holding her shoes by the heels as she linked arms with Lucas once again.

They had left prom, shortly after the song ended, deciding to go back to his house. Half way there, Brooke started shivering, so Lucas gave her his jacket, which she gladly accepted this time. But, Brooke still didn't like to depend on people, so even when he offered to carry her, she refused, determined to tough it out.

Lucas knew better than to fight with her, so he just sighed, and started to walk once Brooke had linked arms with him again. They hadn't taken more than ten steps when Brooke started dragging behind a bit.

So, Lucas stopped, and got directly in front of her. He crouched down and got his arms ready.

"What are you doing?" Brooke said, confused by his actions.

"Get on." He said simply, waiting her for her climb on his back.

"Lucas, I said I could walk." Brooke said as she walked in front of him.

"You were lagging behind and I was walking very slow. Just let me carry you." Lucas tried again, hoping that she would give in this time. But, this was Brooke he was talking to. There was no way in hell she would back down so easily.

"Lucas, I'm fine. You are the one holding us up, and it's freezing out here." Brooke said, wrapping his jacket tighter around her as she started walking again.

"Fine." Lucas said, quickly catching up with her. In one swoop, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, and continued to walk.

"Lucas! Put me down! I can walk just fine!" Brooke said while staring at Lucas' ass as he walked.

"We are a block from my house, and if we keep going at your pace, it will be below 30 by the time we get there." he responded, turning the corner. He loved carrying her, before. But now, she felt entirely too light. Like if he let go of her, she'd fly away.

"Lucas!" Brooke whined as Lucas ignored her, crossing the street to get to his house.

"Fine." Lucas said, setting her down at the edge of the steps.

"Meanie." Brooke mumbled as she stuck her tongue out to Lucas.

"Very mature Brooke." Lucas said, shaking his head as they walked into the house.

"Who said I was mature?" Brooke said with a laugh as Lucas stopped walking in front of her, causing her to run into him.

"Luke, what the h-" Brooke started, confused as to why he stopped walking.

"MOM!" Lucas shouted as he covered his eyes.

"Sorry Lucas! I didn't think you'd be home so early." Karen said reaching for the baby blanket at the edge of the couch.

"What's going o-. Oh." Brooke said somewhat awkwardly, as she caught sight of Karen. She was breast-feeding Madison, which would explain why Lucas covered his eyes.

"Hi Brooke! Well, this is awkward." Karen said with a laugh, still trying to reach the blanket. "Brooke, can you?"

Brooke nodded, nudging Lucas as she walked by him to grab the blanket. She handed the blanket to Karen, who tented it over Madison and her shoulder.

"Thank you Brooke. Lucas I'm covered now." Karen said, making sure the blanket wasn't clinging to Madison's head.

"Are you sure?" Lucas asked, fearful that Brooke told his mother to say that, just to make him uncomfortable. He'd walked in on his mother once before feeding Madison and he'd been so shaken up that he couldn't drink milk for a week.

"Lucas, you can uncover your eyes now." Brooke said, walking over to him and pulling his hand down, only to find his eyes shut tight.

"How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"Oh no!" Brooke said sarcastically, throwing her hands up in the air. "He found us out Karen! How do you do it Lucas Scott?"

"So my mom is really covered?" Lucas asked once more, hearing his mother laugh in the background.

"Yes Lucas." Brooke repeated, giving Lucas a quick peck on the lips

Lucas, opened one eyes slowly before opening both. "Whew." Lucas sighed, electing another laugh out of Karen.

"Honestly Lucas. I wouldn't do that to you." Karen replied, once again checking on Madison. "What are you 2 doing here?"

"I was feeling kinda tired so we came here." Brooke said as she leaned into Lucas.

"So, are you 2 back together?" Karen asked.

Neither one answered, but instead got big goofy grins on their face which was enough of an answer for Karen. "That's great you guys!"

"Thanks Karen." Brooke said genuinely happy that Karen was for their relationship.

"Lucas, cover your eyes, your sister is done." Karen said, Lucas' eyes shutting immediately.

"I'm going to go change." he said, opening one eye to see where he was going.

Brooke laughed, as she sat down in a chair, averting her eyes from Karen.

"I'm glad someone can actually be in a room with me when I feed her." Karen said with a laugh.,

"Well, I'm not going to say it isn't awkward, but I'm not going to go crazy like Lucas." Brooke said as she felt Karen tap her shoulder.

"I'm covered now Brooke." Brooke looked over at Karen to see Madison lying on her shoulder.

"This might be completely weird for me to ask, but would you mind if I burped her?"

"Not at all! If you wouldn't mind watching her afterwards so I can get in a quick shower." Karen said as she placed Madison in Brooke's arms.

"I'd love to watch her Karen." Brooke said, smiling, as she placed the burp rag over her shoulder.

"Careful with her head." Karen said although it wasn't needed. Brooke was cradling Madison's head and softly, yet sternly, patting her back.

"I got it Karen. Go take your shower. If I have any questions I'll ask Luke."

"OKay." Karen said with a sigh. She rubbed her daughter's back once before leaving to finally take her shower.

"Alrighty Madison," Brooke began, not noticing Lucas standing in the doorway, " let's see if you can burp for me."

As Madison began burping, much to Brooke's delight, Lucas stood in the doorway, taking in the sight of Brooke with is sister. Brooke looked so happy, a lot happier than he'd seen her in a long time. Happier than she had earlier this night when they had met at her parents' house. He couldn't help of think how unfair it was for Brooke, to get what she obviously took so much joy in, taken away from her. It was obvious that Brooke wanted kids, being with Madison was proof enough.

When Madison was done burping a few minutes later, Brooke moved her so she laid in her lap, removing the towel from her shoulder.

"You're so good with her." Lucas said, finally making his presence known as Brooke was cleaning Madison's mouth.

Her head turned to look at him, and gave a small smile.

"Well, it's hard not to. She is such a good little girl." Brooke said, turning her attention back to Madison who was grinning up at her.

"But you're naturally good with her Brooke. The first week she was home, whenever I held her, she'd scream and I'd freak out." Lucas said with a laugh, moving into the living room and sitting on the couch.

Brooke shrugged. " I do what I can." She moved Madison back into her arms and stood up. "Do you have some sweats I can borrow?"

Lucas nodded. "Do you want me to take her so you can change?"

Brooke shook her head as she rocked Madison back and forth. "Nah. I'll change when she falls asleep."

As Madison's eyes got droopy, Brooke moved her so that her head rested on her shoulder. She rubbed her back as she sat down slowly next to Lucas. Brooke slowly leaned her head so it rested on Lucas's shoulder as he turned the tv down, changing the channel. He left a kiss on Brooke's head, finally settling on a channel.

"This is nice." Brooke said after a few minutes of silence.

"It is isn't it?" Lucas responded, looking away from the tv and over at Brooke and Madison.

Brooke nodded her head, closing her eyes. Lucas redirected his attention back to the tv, his mom stepping into the living room in her pajamas.

She motioned to Madison and Brooke, asking silently if she should take her. He looked down at them, both of them sleeping peacefully. He nodded his head and Karen went over and slowly picked up Madison, taking her to the bassinet in Karen's room. Lucas, slowly picked up Brooke, and placed her on his bed. He pulled out the flowered clip in her hair before pulling the blanket up to her shoulders.

"Broody?" Brooke asked in a daze.

"Yes?"

"I don't want to be alone."

"I wouldn't dream of leaving you Brooke." Lucas said with a smile, although it went unseen in the darkness. He slipped off his shoes and tie before climbing into bed. He gave her a quick kiss before her eyes closed once again.

"Goodnight Brooke." he whispered.

"Night Lucas." Brooke mumbled, halfway into dreamland.


	20. Pain

Hey everyone! Thank you SOOOOO MUCH for the reviews! Inspiration struck me today which I believe is the only reason I got this chapter out so quickly. I am sad to announce that this story will be ending soon though :( This is Chapter 20, and I'm planning on ending it at Chapter 25. Yes, very sad indeed. Anyway, this chapter and the last one are mainly dialogue which isn't something I'm proud of. More internal thoughts and what not will be in the next chapters, I promise. I hope you all love this chapter. Big things are to come! PLease read and review! Without further ado, the story:

DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :( 

Lucas woke up to find the spot next to him empty. He sat up, squinting the eyes and blinking, trying to adjust to the light. He scanned the room, trying to find Brooke, but she was no where in sight. He did however, see her dress lying over his chair where his Body Shop hoodie laid last night.

Lucas got up, changing into a pair of basketball shorts and a tee. He checked his clock before he left the room. _9:02 am_.

He walked into the kitchen doorway to find his mom cooking at the stove while Brooke was playing with Madison.

"Do you want chocolate chip pancakes Brooke?" Karen asked.

"I'm fine Karen. I'm not that hungry." Brooke replied, not taking her eyes off of Madison.

"Brooke you have to eat something." Karen said, getting a bag of chocolate chips out of the cabinet.

"Karen, I'm fine." Brooke tried, but it was no use.

"You're gonna eat Brooke." She heard Brooke sigh and knew that she had won the small argument. "Do you want something to drink?"

"I can get it myself Karen." Brooke said, taking Madison out of her bouncer and laying her over her shoulder. "Do you want something to drink?

"Some orange juice would be nice." Karen said as she began to break some eggs in a bowl.

Brooke nodded and walked over to the cabinet and took out 2 glasses and set them down on the counter before going to get the orange juice.

Karen glanced over, watching Brooke pour the orange juice while holding Madison. She seemed like a pro.

"She likes you." Karen said and Brooke looked over. "She screams most of the day and freaks out when somebody else holds her. But not with you."

Brooke smiled and glanced at Madison who was smiling over at Karen. "It's only cause she can see you."

Karen shook her head. "Last night you put her to sleep. I've been the only one who can do it. Lucas tries, but she just wants her mom all the time."

Brooke shrugged. "I'm not exactly mom material."

"Nonsense Brooke. It comes so naturally to you."

"Thanks Karen." Brooke said with a smile, handing Karen her juice.

She turned back around to see Lucas standing in the doorway. "You have got to stop doing that." Brooke said with a laugh, handing Lucas her orange juice.

"Thanks." He said before dipping his head towards her and leaving a soft kiss on her lips.

They pulled out of the kiss, just smiling and staring at each other. They would have stayed like that even longer if Madison hadn't started fussing.

"It's okay Madison." Brooke said, moving her so that she was cradling her. She began rocking her back and forth to try and calm her down.

"It's no use Brooke. She's hungry." Karen said, washing her hands. "Here. I'll go into my room and feed her."

Brooke nodded and handed Madison over to Karen. "The eggs and pancakes are ready. Lucas, make sure she eats." Karen said pointing to Brooke. And with that, Karen left with Madison.

"You're up rather early." Lucas said, as he watched Brooke get plates down from the cabinets as well as another cup.

"Madison woke me up." she said simply, pouring herself another cup of orange juice.

"Sorry about that." Lucas said with a small laugh. He walked over to where Brooke was standing and grabbed a plate, piling 3 pancakes on to it.

"It's fine. I got to bond with her." Brooke said, grabbing her own plate and placing one pancake on it.

"Are you getting some eggs?" Lucas asked as he spooned some onto his plate.

"Yep." Brooke said holding out her plate. Lucas spooned some on and then grabbed the syrup.

Once they sat down at the table, the door opened to reveal Haley and Nathan.

"I _hate_ this." Haley grumbled.

"What's wrong?" Brooke asked, getting up so Haley could sit down. Haley shook her head and walked over to get herself some food.

"She's in labor." Nathan said simply, following his wife's example and getting some food.

"What!?" Brooke and Lucas asked in shock.

"I'm dilated 2 centimeters. TWO and I have been in pain for the past SIX hours." Haley said as she pilled scrambled eggs on to her plate.

"Oh." Brooke said letting out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry Haley. What'd the doctor say?"

"That if my water breaks to come back in. Or when the pain becomes unbearable."

"Why couldn't you just stay there now?" Lucas asked, taking a bite of his pancake.

"Too crowded." Nathan said as he grabbed 2 more chairs and set them by the table.

"Have you been walking around? The doctor said that'd speed up the labor." Brooke said, scooting over to make room for Haley.

"We walked over here but it's hard to walk with this!" Haley said, pointing at her belly. "You are never touching me again."

"It takes 2 Haley." Nathan said, shaking his head.

"And it's just going to be you for a LONG time." Haley replied before taking a bite of pancake.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Fine."

"We should all go out today." Lucas said.

"I'm in labor Lucas. Where the hell would we be going?" Haley asked.

"We could go to the Flea Market. That way you can walk around but stop to look at stuff. It'll be fun."

"The Flea Market? Lucas, that sounds like the most unappealing place in the world." Brooke said, looking at him as if he were stupid. "If she's going to walk and buy stuff why don't we just go to the mall?"

"Because you've been to the mall a thousand times. At the Flea Market you can get fresh air."

"And fleas!" Brooke retorted.

"Come on Brooke. It'll be fun." Haley piped in, getting some what excited about the idea.

"Ugh, fine." Brooke said as she stood up, grabbing her empty plate as well as Lucas' and Nathan's. "Are you done Hales?"

"Do I look like I'm done?" Haley asked before stuffing another forkful of eggs into her mouth.

Brooke shrugged and took the plates over to the sink where she began to do the dishes. "We should invite Peyton along."

"Invite Peyton along where?" Karen asked as she reentered the room with Madison. "Hey Haley. Nathan."

"We're going to the Flea Market." Haley said.

"That way Haley will have the baby sooner." Nathan said, rubbing Haley's belly until she smacked his hand away.

"You're in labor?" Karen asked as she went over to help Brooke.

"Yes. 2 centimeters in SIX hours." Haley said, starting to get worked up again.

"I was in labor with Lucas for 3 days."

"THREE DAYS?!" Nathan screamed. "I can't take this for THREE days!"

"YOU can't take it?! Are you the one pushing YOUR son out?!" Haley yelled.

"Would you like to come with us Karen?" Brooke asked while Nathan and Haley fought behind them.

"No. I have Madison and so much work to do around here." Karen said as Lucas walked over and picked up Madison.

"Do you see what you started Mom? Haley is going to kill him before he ever meets his son!" Lucas said as Haley stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"She'll get over it and Nathan will meet his son." Karen said, putting the left over food in tupperware.

"Would you like us to take Madison with us? That way you can get what you need to get done faster and have some time to yourself?" Brooke offered.

"That'd be wonderful, but she'll need to eat."

"You can make some bottles can't you?" Lucas asked, going over to the table to pick up Haley's plate.

"Are you sure you guys want to take her?"

"Karen, I love that little girl. I promise she'll be fine." Brooke said, taking the plate from Lucas. "We'll keep her covered from the sun, and we wont take our eyes off of her."

She was getting really excited at the thought of sending the day with Madison. "And I promise she wont get fleas." she added, this time throwing in her dimpled smile.

"Alright. I'll go make some bottles right now." Karen said, giving in. Looks like the score was 1 to 1.

"Yay!" Brooke exclaimed as she finished the dishes. "Come on Lucas, we got to go get ready. And I guess at some point we'll have to stop World War 3 in the living room."

"I'll give them Madison, that way they're forced to just talk." Lucas said with a smirk.

-------------

"And you wanted to go to the mall." Lucas scoffed as Brooke shoved yet another bag at the bottom of Madison's stroller.

"Shut up." Brooke said, rolling her eyes.

"I wonder if their vinyl is good quality." Peyton wondered aloud, eyeing one booth's vinyl records.

"Don't you own like every album ever?" Brooke joked.

"Don't you own everything?" Peyton joked back as Madison began to fuss.

"I think she's hungry." Lucas asked, peering into the stroller.

"Maybe we should get some lunch. It's almost 1." Brooke said.

They walked over to the food stands, where Haley immediately sat down on a picnic table.

"Jesus." she huffed, rubbing her belly. Peyton sat down on her left while Brooke sat down on her right, wheeling Madison in front of her.

"Think you're any further along?" Peyton asked.

"I hope so. I don't know how much more of this I can take." Haley said as Nathan came back wit a bottle of water for her.

"Thank you." Haley said before gulping half the bottle. "Great, now I'll have to pee in 5 minutes."

"Brooke do you want nachos or a corn dog?" Lucas asked as Brooke began giving Madison her bottle.

"I'm not that hungry."

"Nachos or a corn dog?" Lucas asked again, ignoring what she said.

Brooke rolled her eyes. It wasn't like she was anorexic, she just wasn't hungry. In fact, the smell of food was making her a bit nasoues.

"Corn dog." Brooke muttered finally. "Your brother is so stubborn."

"Yeah, I know." Nathan responded.

Brooke laughed. "I was actually talking to Madison, but it's nice to have someone respond."

"How are you so good with her?" Haley asked, staring at Brooke and Madison.

"I dunno." Brooke responded truthfully. She didn't know how she was so good with her either. Yeah, she wanted kids, but she never expected that'd she'd be good at it. Kids were good in theory. She just didn't know if she could be a mom.

Haley rubbed her belly. "I really hope I don't screw this up."

"You'll be fine Haley. And if not, Brooke is always there to step up." Peyton said with a laugh as she patted Haley's back.

"Crap." Haley said under her breath.

"Was it my joke?" Peyton asked, suddenly worried she was going to have Crazy Hormonal Haley yelling at her.

"No... ow... crap crap crap, it really hurts." Haley said as Nathan stood up.

"Haley..." Nathan started

"Where'd the water come from?" Peyton asked, getting up to observe the new wet spot on the bench.

"I think your water just broke." Brooke finished, getting up as well.

"What's going on?" Lucas asked, walking over to the group with 5 hot dogs in his hands.

"We need to go to a hospital." Peyton said as she started gathering everything.

"Now!" Haley screamed, clutching her belly.

"Lucas, dump the corn dogs and grab Madison's stroller." Brooke said as she grabbed Madison's diaper bag and threw it in the stroller, trying to get Madison to finish eating.

"Damn it Nathan! You are never touching me... owww... again!" Haley threatened through the pain, grabbing on to Nathan for support.

"I'm sorry okay!" Nathan said, helping his wife towards the car.

"Madison can you please eat a little faster?" Brooke asked as Madison rejected the bottle. "You've had enough! Wonderful! Now, let's burp a little for Brooke okay?"

Lucas handed her a rag and she put it over shoulder, and placing Madison over it. "I feel so bad for Peyton."

"Why?" Brooke asked as she heard Madison burp.

"She rode here with them." Lucas said, as he removed all the bags from the bottom of the stroller and placed them in the back of the car.

"We'll meet you guys at the hospital." Nathan yelled as the pulled up behind them. Lucas could see Peyton in the back seat of the car with Haley, who looked like she was going to explode.

"Damn it Nathan DRIVE!" Peyton yelled as Haley began to scream.

"Bye!" Nathan said as he floored it.

"Oh jeez, poor Peyton." Brooke said as Madison let out a big burp.

"That's my girl!"

"I didn't know you would be so proud of someone burping." Lucas laughed as he helped Brooke get Madison into her car seat.

"She burped when I needed her too. That's enough for her to get some praise." Brooke said, double checking to see if Madison was in right.

Lucas got into the driver's seat while Brooke climbed out of the back seat and into the front. "Should I sit back there with her? Make sure she's okay?" Brooke worried.

"She'll be fine Brooke." Lucas said as he pulled out of the parking spot and headed towards the hospital.

"If she starts fussing I'm going back there." Brooke said as she turned around, already checking on Madison.

Lucas just shook his head. "You're going to be a great mom. A worrisome one, but a great one none the less."

Brooke looked from Madison to him and smiled. "Thank you Lucas." She said, as she laced her fingers with his free hand. "You're gonna be a great dad."

Lucas smiled, and looked over at her, squeezing her hand.


	21. The Sweetest Thing

Hey y'all! Thank you SOOOOOOOOO VERRRRRRY MUCH for the reviews! I'm really proud of this chapter. The begining conversation between Brooke and Lucas is actually based off of a conversation I had with one of my guy friends and it fit perfectly with the situation. I mean, it obviously wasn't in the same context, but it fit none the less lol. I hope you all love this chapter, because I do! Please read and review! The next chapter should be up by this saturday! Without further ado, the story: DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :(

"We should've called your mom on our way over here." Brooke said as she watched Lucas make faces at Madison.

"The doctor said that Haley will be in labor for at least 2 more hours. She'll get here in enough time." Lucas said, stopping the funny faces momentarily to look at Brooke.

Brooke nodded, realizing that she was worrying for nothing. She leaned back into her chair and closed her eyes. She felt so sore recently. She assumed it was because of her last surgery, but that still didn't explain the immense pain in her back.

"You look tired." Lucas said, leaning back in his own chair, laying Madison on his chest.

Brooke opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Lucas. He looked tired in his own right, but he was living with a newborn, he had an excuse. She on the other hand, had gotten a lot of sleep lately. She just wasn't sure why she kept feeling so tired.

She sighed. "I am tired." She looked down at Madison who was smiling up at her, making all sorts of noises. Brooke smiled, and brought her hand up to Madison's who immediately grabbed it and stuck Brooke's index finger in her mouth.

"Silly girl." Brooke said quietly, before she looked back up at Lucas. "I wish I could give you one of these Luke."

Lucas' smile turned to a frown when those words left Brooke's mouth. Her own dimpled smile turned to a small sad smile before she returned her gaze to Madison. He couldn't believe she had actually said it. He knew it was true, that she would never be able to carry his child, but the way she said it, it broke his heart and caused anger to rise in him. She was 18 years old. Those words should have never needed to leave her mouth, let alone now. It was crazy how he was 18 years old, and wished that his girlfriend had been pregnant a year ago. It wasn't like he needed a child from Brooke. He'd be happy with adoption, but he knew Brooke was beating herself up over it.

"Hey," he started softly, causing her to look back up at him. "I'm happy with you Brooke. Don't feel like you have to give me a child."

"I know I shouldn't feel like I have to, but I want to. And I know you want kids. I just wish I could give at least one to you." Brooke said quietly. The way Lucas was with Madison, she could tell that he wanted kids. Obviously not now, since he practically freaked out when Madison wouldn't stop crying, but the other moments, she could see so much want in his eyes. Like when they were getting ready this morning, he was putting gel in his hair while Madison was in her bouncer next to him. She was smiling up at him and started her undecodable baby talk and he bent down to her level and started talking to her, all while parting her dark brown hair to the side. Brooke had walked in, watching the interaction, and couldn't help but smile as she saw the huge grin on Lucas' face.

It killed her to know that she could never provide him with that. That she could never be like Haley, and have her own belly grow because of the child that could've been there. Lucas would never be able to come home to her and touch her belly and feel something kick underneath and think about how that was **his** baby in there. He would never be able to go to a doctor appointment with her and see the ultrasound of their baby on the screen. He would never be in a delivery room with her on the bed, urging her to push. He would never be able to cut the cord connecting her to their baby. He would never be able to do any of that because of her. No matter how much she wanted to, she could never give him that.

"I'm sorry Luke." Brooke said, cursing herself for wanting to cry. "Betcha wish I had been pregnant last year huh?"

She always was the one to make light of a sad conversation with a joke. "Do not be sorry for this Brooke." he said. "It's not your fault."

She wanted to respond, say how it was her fault, that she had gotten the cancer, but she decided against it. Instead she chose to sigh and nod her head. He laced his fingers through hers. She gave his hand a small squeeze before he brought it up to his mouth to give her hand a kiss.

That is when Madison decided to maker herself known, releasing a wail from her mouth. Brooke sat up in her chair and examined Madison.

"I think she needs to be changed." Lucas said and Brooke nodded in agreement. Brooke stood up and grabbed Madison's diaper bag, slinging it over her shoulder.

"We'll be back." Brooke said once she had Madison in her arms.

-------------------

Brooke was buttoning up Madison's onsie when a woman came out of a stall.

"Thank you for being such a good girl Madison." Brooke said, tossing the dirty diaper into the trash can from where she stood. She'd read that it was un safe to walk away from a baby when they were in the changer and she didn't think that anything would happen in the 10 seconds it'd take her to walk to the trash and back, but she wasn't willing to take the chance.

"You have a beautiful daughter." the woman said, observing Brooke through the mirror.

"Excuse me?" Brooke asked in shock. Madison? Her daughter?

"Your daughter. She's beautiful." the lady said once again.

"Oh." Brooke had definatly been caught off guard with that one. "Thank you."

That may be the only time she heard that and she'd be damned if she corrected her.

------------------

"What took you so long?" Lucas asked as Brooke approached, a very happy Madison in her arms.

"Yeah, sorry." Brooke said with a huge smile on her face as she sat down.

"What happened?" Lucas questioned. He knew Brooke all too well. He knew there was another reason for the smile on Brooke's face other than Madison.

"Nothing." Brooke said lying horribly. Lucas gave her a look and she sighed. "Okay, fine. Now please don't look at me like I'm crazy after I tell you."

"What did you do?" Lucas asked, cutting off what was sure to become a ramble.

She moved Madison into her lap and focused on her. "Well, there was another woman in the bathroom and she kinda thought that Madison was my daughter and I kinda chose not to correct her."

"You told a lady that Madison was your daughter?" Lucas asked, trying to stifle a laugh.

"No!" Brooke defended herself. "She said 'You have a beautiful daughter.' and instead of telling her that she is my boyfriend's sister, I said 'Thank you'."

Lucas just laughed. He couldn't blame her for it. Madison was still small enough not to resemble anyone a lot quite yet, but had a head full of dark brown hair like Keith and Karen and, well, Brooke. Plus, Brooke might never hear those words again. It's not like she did any harm by not correcting the woman.

"That's fine Brooke." He said wrapping his arms around Brooke's shoulder and bringing her close for a kiss.

"So you don't think I'm crazy?" Brooke asked after they pulled out of their kiss, resting her forehead against Lucas'.

"I've always thought you were crazy, but no, I don't think you're crazy for that." Lucas said, laughing a little with Brooke.

They kissed once more before redirecting their attention back to Madison.

"It took me and HOUR to go to the apartment, find this freaking bag, and get back here." Peyton said, shaking Haley's overnight bag in the air, as she walked up to Brooke and Lucas. "What are you guys doing out here? I figured you'd be in the room with Haley."

"The apartment is a 10 minute drive from here." Lucas said as Peyton threw the bag to the ground.

"Exactly! Plus it's not like their apartment is huge. It consists of one bedroom, one bathroom, a small living room, dining room and kitchen. Yet it took me 40 minutes to find ONE bag!" Peyton exclaimed.

"Didn't they tell you where to find it?" Brooke asked.

"Haley swore it was right next to the front door, but low and behold, it wasn't there."

"Where'd you find it?"

"In the bathroom next to the toilet." Peyton sighed as Nathan came out.

"It's time you guys." Nathan said looking nervous as hell. "Haley wants Brooke and Lucas in the room."

"But, my mom hasn't gotten here yet. I'll have to stay out here with Madison." Lucas said, grabbing Madison from Brooke. Haley was like a sister to him, and after witnessing his mom give birth, he did not want to see Haley give birth.

"I'll watch her." Peyton said, grabbing Madison from Lucas. She had enough of Crazy Labor Haley on the way to the hospital.

"But..." Lucas stammered, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Luke, you're not getting out of this one." Brooke laughed, pulling Lucas up.

"Have fun!" Peyton laughed, rocking Madison back and forth.

Brooke and Lucas followed Nathan back to Haley's room. Haley was lying on the bed, covered in sweat, her hair matted to her face.

"What the hell took you so long?!" Haley shouted from the bed.

"Oh dear god." Lucas mumbled from behind Brooke. He already knew this was going to be a lot worse than his mom.

"Hey there Tutormom. How ya holding up?" Brooke asked, walking over to Haley.

"It really hurts." Haley mumbled. "And I just really want him out of me."

Brooke stroked back Haley's hair. "It's alright, he'll be out soon enough."

"Fuck." Haley wasn't one for cursing so Brooke knew she had to be in loads of pain. Haley's face scrunched up as she clutched on to the side of the bed, trying to ride out her next contraction.

When the contraction was over, Nathan went on the other side of Haley and grabbed her hand. "Your doing great Hales."

"Sorry if I'm freaking you out Luke." Haley said, glancing over to Lucas who was still standing by the door.

Lucas stepped forward and next to Brooke. "Well, this is definatly a position I've never seen you in." he said with a laugh.

Haley tried to laugh as well but was forced to stop when another contraction hit. She grabbed Nathan's hand and squeezed it for dear life. Nathan, despite being a pretty strong guy, had a look of pain on his face. There was no doubt in Brooke's mind that it was from Haley's death grip on his hand.

"Where the hell is the doctor?" Haley questioned as she took deep breaths. As if on cue, the doctor and a nurse walked into the room, smiles on their faces.

"How are we doing Haley?" the doctor asked cheerily.

"I want him out NOW!" Haley exclaimed and the doctor just laughed.

"Alright Haley, I need you to bring your legs back. Nathan if you could hold one back and you hold the other." she said, pointing to Brooke.

Brooke and Nathan did as they were told, and Lucas stepped behind Brooke, ready to help when asked.

"I'm gonna need you to take a deep breath and push down Haley. To the count of ten okay?" Haley nodded and began to push.

20 minutes later, it was time for the final push. "I need one more big push Haley. I need you to put everything you have into this one." the doctor said and Haley just shook her head.

"No. I'm done. I'm too tired." Haley said, panting and sweating like a pig.

"Come one Haley. You can do this." Lucas said as he helped Brooke hold Haley's leg back.

"Hales, you've come this far." Nathan added.

"One more push and you can meet your son." Brooke chimed in and Haley just closed her eyes.

"Fine. One more, btu that's it. If he's not out after this he's staying in there." Haley said, getting ready for one more final push.

"One more big one Haley." the doctor repeated and Haley pushed with every ounce of strength she had.

Then, as if by magic, the room was filled with the sound of a baby's cry.

"It's a boy." the doctor said with a smile, holding him up to show Haley. "Dad, would you like to cut the cord?"

Nathan nodded and cut the cord where the doctor told him too. The nurse then took their son to go weigh and clean him up.

"You did great Haley." Lucas said, placing a small kiss on Haley's head.

"I am so proud of you!" Brooke beamed. "Lucas, go take pictures."

Lucas nodded and walked over to where the nurse as cleaning him nephew, his digital camera ready.

The doctor finished cleaning Haley up by the time the nurse returned with Nathan and Haley's son.

"7 pounds 9 ounces. 21 inches." the nurse said as she handed Haley her son.

"He's beautiful." Nathan said, looking down at his son.

"He is isn't he?" Haley asked as he son opened his eyes to reveal light blue eyes. "He's got your eyes babe."

"But he's got your hair." Nathan said, running his fingertips over the blonde fuzz that was poking out from under his cap.

"Does this little guy have a name?" the nurse asked, pen in hand.

"Michael Eugene Scott." Haley said proudly.

"Eugene? Why did you have to scar him like that?" Lucas asked with a laugh.

"It's a name sake for you smart ass." Nathan said with a smirk.

"Lucas would have done just fine." Lucas responded as Brooke just shook her head.

"It's a wonderful name Hales." Brooke said looking down at the baby in Haley's arms.

"Michael, met your Uncle Lucas and your Aunt Brooke." Haley said as she lifted him towards Brooke. She immediately took him into her arms, smiling down at him.

"You are going to be gorgeous. With your mom and dad's genes, the girls wont be able to get enough of you." Brooke said as Lucas looked down at Michael from over her shoulder.

"Plus, with the amazing basketball skills you've inherited. You can get any girl you want." Lucas said as he took Michael into his own arms.

---------------------

"It has been a long day." Lucas said as he fell onto his bed, Brooke following him.

"Yes it has." Brooke said as she landed on the bed. She scooted closer to Lucas, resting her head on his chest. "Are you sleepy?"

"No, actually." Lucas said with a laugh. "I'm actually a bit wired. What about you?"

"I'm tired, but I don't feel like sleeping." Brooke answered truthfully. "I think I'm going to go take a shower."

"Are you hungry?" Lucas asked and Brooke knew better than to say no.

"A little."

"Alright, well then you shower and I'll make us something to eat." Brook nodded and left to the bathroom.

After an hour shower, Brooke emerged from the bathroom in a towel and made her way into Lucas' bedroom. She closed the door, already shivering at how cold it was. What she didn't expect to see was Lucas back in his room.

"Luke! You scared me." Brooke said, clutching her towel tighter around herself.

"You look like you're freezing." Lucas said placing his book down on the bed and walked over to her.

He placed his hands on her arms and ran them up and down quickly to try and warm her up.

"I am freezing." she said looking up at him. This would have to be the first time that Brooke was feeling embarrassed and scared in front of a boy while she was basically naked. She knew she didn't look pretty anymore, and the last time Lucas had seen her naked, she yelled at him. She wanted to be with him so bad too, but they had only been together for what, a day?

He wanted to be with her again. But, she had her surgery barely 2 weeks ago and there was no doubt that she was completely healed. Plus, he knew she was feeling insecure about the way she looked.

"You look beautiful you know that?" he asked her quietly and she leaned into his chest.

"I'm not." she responded, her voice slightly muffled by his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she moved so that she could bury her face into his chest, breathing in his smell.

"Yes you are." he said, rubbing her back. "I want to be with you." he said gently and he felt her nod against her chest.

"Thank god it wasn't just me thinking it." she said with a laugh, lifting her head to look at him. "But I think we should hold off. Just until my doctor's appointment."

He nodded, understanding completely, something she was grateful for. "We can wait."

"We're Brooke and Lucas. There is no way we'll be able to wait." she said with a grin.

"Well, I don't want to hurt you, so we'll manage to wait." Lucas said giving her a quick kiss.

"Peyton and Haley are going to give us an award or something for waiting." Brooke said with a laugh.

Lucas just laughed and shook his head. He looked down at Brooke and noticed her yawning. "You should eat." he said and she put her head back on his chest and nodded. He knew there was no way she was going to eat tonight. "Get dressed and then we'll go to sleep."

Brooke nodded again, and reluctantly let go of Lucas. He walked over to his door ready to leave when Brooke's voice stopped him. "I love you."

He turned back around and smiled. "I love you too."


	22. In The Sun

Hey guys! Sorry I'm a bit late on the update, my mom's birthday ws this weekend and it was the superbowl, so I was a lot on the busy side lol. Anywho, I'm really proud of this chapter, it's quite long actualy. Anyway, I hope the ending is okay, I'm not used to writing scenes liek that lol. Oh and I just want to say that your reviews are AWESOME I hit the 100 mark which I could not be happier about!!! So, I hope more reviews are to come. Next chapter should be up by next monday, which I know you guys'll hate since this is a cliffhanger chapter lol! Without further ado, the story: DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :(

"_Brooke?" _

_Brooke's eyes fluttered open to reveal Lucas staring back at her. "What?" she asked annoyed._

"_I know you have that big test tomorrow, but he keeps asking for you and won't go to sleep." Lucas started. "I've tried everything."_

"_I'll get him." Brooke mumbled as she slowly got out of bed. She grabbed her sweater that was lying on the chair next to the bed and pulled it on. She walked her way down the hallway, the only sound was of her feet hitting the ground when she took a step, and Finley's muffled cries. She opened the door to the nursery to see her 1 year old son standing up in his crib crying._

"_Mama..." he cried pitifully, his arms reaching towards Brooke._

"_Shshsh, Mama's here." Brooke said as she lifted him out of his crib. She stuck his pacifier in his mouth and laid his head down on the shoulder, swaying back and forth. The tears kept coming from his eyes, but they were slowing down. Brooke wiped his wet cheeks with her fingertips while rubbing her son's back with her free hand._

_His eyes eventually closed and Brooke placed him back in his crib, covering him with the blanket. She walked quietly out of the nursery and back into the room she shared with Lucas, checking the time as soon as she entered the room. 5:47 a.m._

_She knew that if she were go back to sleep now she wouldn't wake up at 6:30. So, instead of crawling back into the nice warm bed, she turned around and went into the kitchen. She debated on what to make in her head as she walked in to the kitchen to find that Karen had already begun cooking._

"_You're up early." Brooke said as she pulled out a chair at the table, curling up on it._

"_You too." Karen said, glancing back at Brooke with a smile. "Help me cook?" Brooke nodded and got up to start scrambled eggs. "Lucas was trying for an hour to get Fin back to sleep."_

"_He used to do so good at night. But lately he's refusing to go back to sleep for anyone but me." Brooke sighed. "Plus I was really looking forward to a 'full' night sleep so I can at least be rested for my Calculus test today."_

"_Is today your final?" Karen asked, flipping a pancake._

"_Yep. So, maybe since I'm up early I'll study a little bit more before I have to start getting ready." Brooke said, adding cheese to her eggs._

"_Go study, I'll finish up breakfast." Karen said nudging Brooke._

"_Okay. Thanks Karen."_

"_Brooke?" Again she was woken up by Lucas gently shaking her._

"_What?" She asked even more annoyed than she was the first time he woke her._

"_It's 6:35. You got to get up." This perked her up. She looked down and noticed she had fallen asleep over her notes._

"_Thanks." Brooke mumbled as she brushed past Lucas on her way to the bathroom._

_The shower was always the place that Brooke could count on being her safe place. She could go in, lock the door, and just forget about the world around her. She could break down and cry if that's what she needed, the water would over power the sound of her cries. She could go in there and relax, knowing that no one could come in and bug her about school or Finley._

_Most days, when Finley was already put to bed and she was done with her homework, she would go into the bathroom, turn the water on in the shower and sit at the bottom of the tub and let the water wash over her. It calmed her down, took away any stress she had, and most importantly let her forget about Lucas for a little while._

_She had a complicated relationship with him. They had broken up, discovered she was pregnant, and she moved in with him for the sake of their baby. For the first 17 weeks, they strongly considered adoption, well she strongly considered adoption. He already knew that he could never do that. To him, it made him feel like Dan. She on the other hand, didn't think she could be a good mom. Sure she wanted kids, but she didn't know if she could raise them. She certainly didn't want to raise her children like her parents raised her. But, then she felt this tiny little flutter inside of her belly and knew that she couldn't do it. She couldn't give her baby to strangers, and despite her hatred towards Lucas, she would raise their baby with him. _

_So, they lived together, sharing Karen's old room while Karen moved into the attic room. Brooke wasn't too happy with the arrangement, but with Lucas' old room being turned into a nursery for Baby Scott, she had no choice. At that point, she still didn't like him and could careless about him. But, then she went into labor, alone, in the middle of the mall, and all she could think about was how she wished Lucas was there to make the pain go away. But, once she was at the hospital with Lucas next to her, she swore that he would never touch her again and if he did, he would feel what she felt at that moment. But, again, all angry thoughts were expelled from her mind when Finley was placed in her arms._

_From there on out, Brooke and Lucas didn't date anyone else, and finally got to the point of being really good friends. But, Brooke could never just be friends with him, and before she knew it, started falling for him again. Of course, the night of Finley's first birthday, after he had gone to bed early, they sat in their room talking about their son and one another, and eventually they ended up kissing each other. Since then, it had been relatively awkward between them, neither one knowing what the kissing had meant._

_Brooke sighed, shut off the water, and quickly ran to her room to get dressed. She could hear Karen playing with Finley down the hall as slipped into her jeans. She was hooking her bra when she heard the door open behind her. She turned around to see Lucas coming into the room, his hair wet from the quick shower he just took._

"_Took you long enough in the shower." Lucas mumbled, walking over to their dresser, pulling out a pair of jeans._

"_Sorry, I was still kinda tired." Brooke said, looking in their closet for a shirt._

"_Yeah well we both lost an hour of sleep." Lucas said, letting his towel drop as he slipped into a pair of boxers. "Do you have any idea as to why he keeps waking up? I mean, he was sleeping through the night before."_

"_At first I thought maybe he had an earache, but he hasn't been grabbing at his ear, and since he's only letting me put him to sleep I don't think that's it." Brooke said as she ran her fingers through her wet hair. "Maybe it's just because he knows we need are sleep."_

_She heard Lucas laugh behind her. "Will you grab me a shirt?" Lucas asked, going over to their mirror to come back his short hair._

_Brooke grabbed a shirt of her own and slipped it over her head and then grabbed a shirt for Lucas. "Here." she said, tossing his shirt to him. She slipped on her shoes before walking next to him and grabbed a hair tie, throwing her hair into a quick ponytail. This was normal for them. Scrambling to get ready, trying to avoid the subject of them, making sure their son was dressed and fed before feeding and dressing themselves._

"_What did it mean?" Lucas asked suddenly, throwing Brooke of completely._

"_What did what mean?" she asked, getting ready to go out to her son._

"_The kiss on Fin's birthday. I have spent the last 3 months going over it in my head and going over how I feel about you and trying to decipher how you feel about me and I can't take it anymore. I could never read you once you put your walls up. Before the kiss I thought you liked me again, but since the kiss, I'm not too sure." Lucas blurted pout, turning to look her straight in the eye._

"_Lucas, we're going to be late. Do we have to talk about this now?" Brooke asked slouching as she leaned into the doorknob that she clutched in her right hand._

"_Just answer me this." Lucas asked gently, taking her free hand into his. "Do you still have feelings for me?"_

_She rolled her eyes, determined not to tell him that she was still madly in love with him. "You're the father of my son. I'll never not have feelings for you." Brooke sighed, sounding confident. But, for the first time in a long while, Lucas was able to figure out what she needed to hear._

"_I like you. I still like you, a lot Brooke. You are the mother of my son and the only girl I have thought about for the past 2 years. I want to be with you." Lucas confessed, hoping that would get her real answer out of her._

_Her expression softened, her walls slowly crumbling. "Really?" she asked. _

"_Yeah." he said, a smile forming on his lips. He took a step forward and brought his head down to hers, kissing her lips softly._

"_Well, then I guess it's a good thing I still like you too." Brooke said with a smile._

"_Lucas! Brooke! Hurry up! You're going to be late!" Karen yelled._

_Brooke opened the bedroom door hand in hand with Lucas. They walk out into the living room, grabbing Finley before making their way out to the car._

_They drove 3 blocks before they reached a red light. They sat there in peace, Brooke looking back every once in a while to check on Finley. The light turned green, and Lucas stepped on the gas, only reaching the middle of the intersection before being hit by a truck._

_The next 10 minutes are a blur to her, the whole thing playing like snap shots. Her, tossed across the front seat next to Lucas, who was up against the door. She wouldn't turn around to see Finley but she couldn't hear him which she already knew was a bad sign. Then, she finds herself in a hospital room, alone, Lucas and Finley nowhere in sight._

"_Where is my son?" she asked harshly, taking her arm away from the doctor. The doctor looked to his left at the nurse and they simply shook their heads. Then, they got up and walked out of the room._

_She followed them to a door where Lucas was waiting for her._

"_I'm so sorry Ms. Davis." the doctor said opening the room where her dead son laid._

"NO!" Brooke screamed, jolting up in the bed. Her chest heaved up and down she was breathing so hard. She wiped her cheeks to try and rid them of her tears but more and more just took their place.

"Brooke what's wrong?" Lucas asked next to her.

"Why can't I have kids?" she asked franticly, turning to look at him.

"What?"

"I dreamt that we had a son and he died Lucas!" Brooke cried, leaning into Lucas' chest. "Why can't I have a baby?"

----------------------

The whole day, Brooke had been shaken up because of the dream. Her and Lucas were finally happy and then their son had died. Was this some cruel joke that God was playing on her? Some way of going 'Hey! I heard you got your uterus ripped out of you and now you're depressed about not having kids, so I'll let you be happy with one. Oh! But the catch is you have to watch him die!'?

She sighed to herself and then felt Lucas squeeze her thigh. "You're gonna be fine Brooke." She smiled at him and then looked around the waiting room.

'_I hope so.'_ Brooke thought to herself. She fidgeted in her chair, trying to get comfortable but turned out that was harder than she though. "Urgh."

"What's wrong?" Lucas asked, looking over at her.

"My back hurts and I can not get comfortable in this chair." Brooke said, moving every which way ini the chair.

"Brooke Davis."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Lucas asked, preparing to get out of his seat.

She shook her head. "I'm a big girl Lucas." she said with a soft smile.

"Hello there Brooke," Ruth said when she entered the room where Brooke was waiting.

"Hi Ruth. How have you been?" Brooke asked, giving the elderly woman a hug.

"I've been good. And you?"

"Eh, I've been tired a lot lately and my back hurts, but I'm good."

Ruth nodded, not sure if she should be concerned. "Alright, I'm going to take a blood sample and send it to the lab." Brooke nodded and shut her eyes when Ruth approached with the needle. She had been poked and prodded a lot during the past months but that didn't stop it from hurting any less.

"Ouch." Brooke said scrunching up her face. "So, am I going to get the results back today?"

Ruth shook her head. "The whole lab crashed yesterday so we have all of yesterday's work to do once we get set back up. You're looking at a couple of days."

"Fantastic." Brooke said sarcastically. "So are we done?"

"Nope. Dr. Chan is going to come in and check to make sure you're healing properly. Then you can go." Ruth said as she grabbed her charts. "Dr. Chan'll be in soon. See you later Brooke."

"Bye." Brooke said as Ruth left the room.

------------------

"So, what'd the doctor say?" Lucas asked as Brooke walked back into the waiting room.

"Well, I've healed up, which means we have the okay for sex." Brooke said a bit on the loud side, causing Lucas to blush and the other patients to give them weird looks. "But, I haven't gotten my test results back yet."

"Why not?"

"The lab crashed so I wont find out for a couple of days." Brooke said as they approached her car.

"That's crap!" Lucas exclaimed, opening the passenger door for her.

"Calm down. It's fine Lucas." He just nodded and got into the car himself.

"Are we going to your parents?" Lucas asked pulling out of the hospital.

"Yep. They invited us over for lunch."

"We should go somewhere this weekend." Lucas said out of the blue as they were driving. "You know, get our minds off of everything."

"And where do you suggest we go with no money?" Brooke asked, rolling her eyes. The idea of going away for the weekend was fun but in no way realistic. She was helping Haley with Michael while Nathan picked up Haley's hours at the cafe, plus his job. She was also traveling to school everyday to pick up homework for both her and Haley, all while stopping by the cafe to pick up Madison for Karen. Lucas was helping Karen with the cafe and with Madison. They were both broke, seeing as neither had jobs so going somewhere wasn't an option.

"Charlotte, the beach. We can all go. Nathan Haley, Michael, Peyton. Kind of a last hurrah before we graduate in 2 weeks." Lucas said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Nathan and Haley have a newborn! They don't exactly have money to spare to go on a weekend getaway! Nathan has a job. We all have no money." Brooke said with a sigh. She loved Charlotte, it had some pretty nice beaches, but the beaches didn't appeal to her now. Now she felt like an anorexic who was stared at constantly. She was too thin and way too pale to go to the beach.

"If you don't want to go just say so." Lucas said as Lucas pulled up in front of the Davis household.

"Lucas, I love Charlotte, it's just we can't go." Brooke said simply, offering Lucas a small smile as if to say she were sorry.

"Brooke! Lucas! It's wonderful to see you!" Mrs. Davis greeted from the door. She stood in the doorway, in all of her trophy wife glory. She was wearing an Alfani solid black suiting skirt and cap sleeve ruffled sweater in off white. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, showing off her pearl adorned neck and ears.

"Hey Mom." Brooke answered somewhat quietly which was odd coming from Brooke. Usually, she spoke with confidence and projected her voice, but after becoming close with her parents, she always reverted to a quieter, almost childlike voice. At least, for a little bit.

"Your father is out back barbecuing. Lucas you can go outside and join him. Brooke, will you help me in the kitchen?" Mrs. Davis instructed more than she asked. Lucas nodded, giving Brooke a quick kiss on the forehead before retreating outside. This was how Mrs. Davis saw it. Men outside barbecuing, the women inside prepping everything else.

"Wow Mom, I didn't think you knew how to cook." Brooke smirked causing her mother to roll her eyes.

"Before we were rich we did domestic things like cooking Brooke. Don't sound so shocked." Mrs. Davis replied, taking a head of lettuce out of the fridge, Brooke putting her hands up as a way of surrendering. "So, what did the doctor say?"

"Well, I'm all healed up, but I haven't gotten my test results back yet." Brooke said, chopping a carrot, sneaking in a small piece. She was surpassingly hungry.

"Why not? You got your results back quickly last time."

"The lab crashed so everything is backed up." Brooke explained and Mrs. Davis nodded.

"Hello there Lucas." Mr. Davis called from the barbecue.

"Hi Mr. Davis." Lucas answered, walking over to Mr. Davis. He'd only met Brooke's parents' once before and let's just say it didn't end well at all.

"So," Mr. Davis started, flipping a hamburger, "the last time we met, I wasn't exactly the nicest person ever. I think I may have said you weren't good enough for my Brookie."

Lucas rubbed the back of the head, the way he does when he's uncomfortable or nervous. "Yeah, you didn't quite say it that nicely, but it was along those lines."

"Well, I would like to apologize for that. I was in a bad place when I said that."

"It's okay Mr. Davis."

"But I still don't think you're good enough for her." Mr. Davis added.

"Excuse me?" Lucas asked in shock. He thought they were passed this.

"It's a parent thing Lucas, don't take it too personally. I'm never going to think that you're good enough for my Brookie just like your mom probably thinks Brooke isn't good enough for you. I know you fought to get her which is something I admired. It say's a lot about you. But that still doesn't convince me you're good enough for her." Mr. Davis elaborated.

"Will I ever be able to get your approval?" Lucas asked with a small laugh. He definatly saw where Mr. Davis was coming from.

"Probably not, but hey, that's the fun part about in-laws." Mr. Davis laughed.

Lucas laughed as well, turning his attention away from Mr. Davis when he heard the screen door slam behind him. Brooke was coming out of the house carrying a bowl full of salad and Lucas couldn't help but stare in awe. The way the sun was framing her face it looked as if she was giving off a healthy glow. Her pale green sun dress was waving in the wind, making her legs look a little less skinny. She had a big smile on her face, the one that showed off her beautiful dimples. He couldn't believe how gorgeous she looked in that second. He felt like he was really seeing her for the first time and in some way he felt as if he was falling in love with her all over again.

"You really do love her don't you?" Mr. Davis asked, tearing Lucas out of his trance.

"I really do." Lucas said, still looking at Brooke who had finally looked over at him and, even though it seemed impossible, her smile seemed to get bigger.

"Brooke, I think it'd be good if you and your friends went to the beach for the weekend." Mrs. Davis said as she followed Brooke into the backyard, picking up where their conversation left off.

"None of us have any money Mom. Plus Michael is only 2 and a half weeks old." Brooke repeated, explaining it again to her mom.

"Well, your father and I could rent you guys a place. All you would have to worry about is food and gas money."

"What is this I hear? A possibility of actually going away for the weekend?" Lucas asked in a mock shock as he climbed up the patio steps to the table.

"Shut up." Brooke said, playfully hitting Lucas on the chest.

"I think it's a great idea Brookie." Mr. Davis piped in as he placed the tray of meat on the table.

"Daddy, do you even know what we're talking about?" Brooke asked with a laugh.

"Nope, but it's always safe to agree with your mom."

"Thank you dear." Mrs. Davis replied with a smile.

"So, Brooke, what do you say? Are you up for the weekend?" Lucas asked hopefully.

Brooke tilted her head. "If you can convince Naley to go, we'll go."

-------------------

"He really convinced you guys to go?" Brooke asked, still in some disbelief that they were actually in Charlotte.

"Yep. It will be good for us Brooke." Haley said, carefully getting MIchael out of his car seat. "Here you go baby."

"Can Michael go into the water?" Brooke asked as Haley made sure Michael accepted his pacifier.

"Yes, I checked it with 3 doctors." Haley said with a laugh. "It's actually really good for their muscle development, we just really have to watch him."

Brooke nodded and helped Haley gather all of Michael's things. Peyton drove up next to them, turning her music down as she drove up.

"Hey guys. Need help?" Peyton offered as she reached into her own back seat, pulling out her duffle bag.

"Nah, we're good." Brooke said, shutting the car door.

"You're parents did good Brooke." Nathan said in awe as he stood with Lucas in the entry way of the beach house.

"They did didn't they?" Brooke said as she made her way into the house with Haley and Peyton. "Nathan and Haley you get the biggest room."

"Are you sure?" Haley asked, handing Michael to Nathan.

"Yep. So, are we gonna rest for a while then go to the beach?" Brooke asked everyone made their way into the living room.

"I say we go to the beach now. It's a beautiful day. Plus, have you seen how close we are to the beach?" Peyton asked nodding her head towards the patio doors. Everyone looked over to see a small strip of sand before seeing nothing but blue.

"Whoa."

"We're **really** close." Lucas said as he walked over to the doors.

"Let's get ready for the beach!" Haley said excitedly.

Within a half an hour, everyone was back in the living room decked out in their beach gear. Lucas and Nathan were both wearing board shorts and t-shirts. Peyton was wearing a very flattering polka dot 2 piece, Haley wearing a red tankini (as to hide her still semi big belly), and Brooke wearing the same green halter 2 piece that she wore the day Lucas had seen her at the beach during sophomore year, paired with a black and white floral sarong.

"Did you guys fill up the ice chest?" Peyton asked as she grabbed 5 big beach towels.

"Yep." Lucas said.

"Alright, Michael has sunscreen on just about every inch of his skin." Haley replied, pulling down his tank top. "He's got his water safe diaper on and is gonna be up for at least 3 more hours."

"We good to go?" Brooke asked, pulling her sunglasses over her eyes.

"Yep." Nathan responded as they headed out to the beach.

--------------------

"That definatly tired Michael out." Haley said to Brooke and Peyton as they walked out of the water.

"Well, yeah. Did you see how much fun he was having with that water?" Peyton asked with a laugh, looking down at Michael in Haley's arms.

"Should we head back inside?" Brooke asked as they made it to the lawn chairs they had set up.

"It's about time for him to sleep." Haley said, wrapping Michael up in his hooded towel.

"Lucas! Nathan!" Brooke called out, causing the brother heads' to turn. "We're going inside!"

They nodded and began to swim back to shore.

"You look absolutely beautiful." Lucas whispered into Brooke's ear when he and Nathan reached shore.

Brooke smiled. "Thank you."

"You girls go up. We'll grab all the stuff." Nathan said, grabbing his towel to dry off.

"Are you sure? We can help." Peyton offered but Nathan shook his head.

"We got it. Go."

-----------------

"Today was wonderful Lucas. I'm glad we came." Brooke said as she came out of the bathroom, fresh out of the shower, and entered the room she shared with Lucas.

"Me too. We had fun didn't we?" Lucas asked, looking at Brooke instead of the tv.

Brooke nodded. "Plus we took tons of pictures for the scrapbook I'm making Michael. I think we caught every single moment of his first time at the beach." Brooke said as she grabbed some clothes out of her bag.

She let her towel fall and slipped into her panties before searching for the big t-shirt she slept in. Lucas looked away from Brooke, turning his attention back to the tv. He really wanted to be with Brooke,and they may have gotten the ok from her doctor, but that didn't mean he was going to jump at the first opportunity he got.

"Lucas do you know where I put my shirt?" Brooke asked, searching franticly through her bag.

"Nope." Lucas answered quickly, trying with all his might to concentrate on the show on tv.

"Aha!" Brooke shouted in victory, thrusting the shirt into the air. She quickly slipped it on, a huge sigh of relief escaping Lucas' mouth. "What was with the sigh?" Brooke asked as she slipped into the bed next to Lucas.

"What? Nothing." Lucas said, opening his arm so that she could cuddle up nest to him.

"No, that sigh wasn't nothing. What was the sigh about?" Brooke asked again, scooting so she was pressed against Lucas' side.

"You. You were standing there topless." Lucas said, looking at her.

"And that made you uncomfortable?" Brooke asked in confusion.

"Well, yes." Lucas said which got a very bad look from Brooke. "Not that I don't looking at you naked. I mean," Lucas mumbled causing Brooke to laugh.

"Broody, it's okay that you want to look at me naked. I'm your girlfriend."

"It's just. We haven't been together for very long and I know your doctor said it was okay and all, I just don't want to rush you. And with you standing there topless, it was making it kinda hard... Hard isn't the word I should be using." Lucas said, blushing.

"See? You're still the innocent little virgin at heart." Brooke said with a smile. She leaned into kiss. He responded to the kiss and granted her access to his mouth when her tongue traced his bottom lip.

Before he knew it, Brooke was straddling him. "Brooke, are you sure about this?" Lucas asked as Brooke pulled away momentarily.

"Broody, every single time I've dated you." Brooke said in-between kisses. "You have never initiated sex. I've always initiated and that is how you know that I am sure."

"Positive?" Lucas asked, dangerously close to giving into Brooke.

"I'm sure." Brooke said with a smile before lowering her head back down to his, kissing him once more.

With that, Lucas flipped them over, definatly more enthusiastic. She smiled against her lips, her hands finding their way to the hem of his shirt. They broke their kiss so that his shirt could be removed and so that he could remove hers. When both shirts were discarded, his lips found her neck and slowly kissed his way down her body. Her backed arched in anticipation when his hands met the sides of her underwear. He slowly pulled them down her legs, tossing them to where their shirts had been thrown. He quickly took off his boxers, all while taking in the sight of Brooke before him.

"You're stunning, you know that?" he said gently, causing her to smile the dimpled smile that he loves.

"And you are simply gorgeous." she replied, pulling him back down to her.

Out of instinct he reached for the bedside table drawer until her hand stopped him. He gave her a confused look and she shook her head. "There's no need." she said, not wanting to state the fact that she couldn't get pregnant and it wasn't like either of them had an STD.

He nodded and leaned down to kiss her one last time before entering her. She scrunched up her face, feeling some slight discomfort. "Are you okay?" he asked, worried that it was too soon.

She opened her eyes to find his staring straight back at her. "I'm with you." she said, bringing his head back down to hers. He nodded again, and began to thrust in and out of her slowly, taking his time.

They both knew that this need to be a slow and gentle, something that was new to them. This time though, it was so much more than sex. Both of their hearts were in it, completely and fully. They both loved each other so much it hurt. In a matter of minutes, Brooke was feeling the warm sensation that she didn't even know she craved. She wrapped her arms around his back, holding on to him as she hit her orgasm.

"I love you." she moaned, bringing Lucas over with her.

He collapsed on top of her, tiny beads of sweat trailing down her forehead. "I love you too." he said rolling off of her. He kissed her once more before she crawled next to him, wrapping the sheet around herself.

"Marry me?" he asked, causing her head to shoot up from its position on his chest.


	23. Hard To Concentrate

Thank you all SOOOO VERY MUCH for all the awesome reviews! My goal is to reach 200, which if I make it, I'll love you all forever haha. Anywho, it's been raining the last couple days which has definatley influenced (and inspired) my writing which is why this chapter is being posted now. This chapter is named after a Red Hot Chili Pepper song which is absolutely FANTASTIC and if you know what the song means well then, you'll know what is coming before you all actually read the ending lol. Next chapter should be up, at the latest, next friday. So, please comment, I'm a bit nervous on Haley's speech but I think I did good. Hope I don't dissapoint. Enjoy everyone! DISCLAIMER- I own nothing :(

"What?" Brooke asked, not believing that those two words came out of Lucas' mouth.

Before Lucas could answer, Brooke's cell phone began ringing. She looked at the phone and then back at Lucas who was still anxiously awaiting her answer. "I.. I..." Brooke mumbled, not looking away from Lucas as she felt around for her phone on the bed side table. She clutched the phone in her hand and looked down at the ID, thankful for the distraction. "It's the doctor." she mumbled quietly before flipping open her phone. "Hello?"

"Brooke?" Ruth asked upon hearing a voice on the other end of the line.

"Ruth, hi." Brooke said, wrapping the sheet around herself as she sat up.

"I've got your test results back sweetie." Had Brooke not been so focused on Lucas' proposal she would have noticed the sadness in Ruth's voice.

"And?" Brooke asked.

"It doesn't look good sweetie. Dr. Chan thinks the cancer may have spread a lot further than she thought." Ruth said sadly.

"What?" Brooke asked, fully aware of the reality of this conversation. Lucas sat up at her tone. She sounded shocked and sad which wasn't good if she was talking to Ruth.

"Well, it seems you have Metastatic Ovarian Cancer. It seems that cancer cells seemed to have gotten into your bloodstream and may have reached your liver." Ruth said gently. It broke her heart that all of this was happening to such a young and happy girl like Brooke.

Brooke dropped the phone, not believing what she was hearing. There was **still** cancer in her body? This wasn't happening. She had ovarian cancer. She got her ovaries removed as well as her uterus. There shouldn't be any cancer in her body. They were supposed to get it **out**, all of it.

"Brooke?" Lucas asked, his voice shaking a little as he did so. He put his hand on her shoulder and she pulled away a little bit. "Brooke what's wrong?"

"I still have cancer." Brooke said, tears falling one by one from her eyes. Her voice was shaking and sad and she sounded like she was on the verge of a breakdown. "This can't be happening."

Lucas got out of bed and kneeled down in front of her. If anything this just made him 110 sure that he wanted to marry her. He loved her so much that it hurt. He never wanted to loose her, not again. He wouldn't be able to live without her. He wanted to go home everyday to her. He wanted to wake up next to her every morning for the rest of his life and wanted her to be the last thing he saw every night. He wanted to share every aspect of his life with her. "Will you marry me?" he asked again. He was hopeful of getting an answer this time. What he didn't expect was a slap across his face.

"This isn't 'A Walk to Remember' Lucas!" Brooke semi shouted, tears still starting to come out of her eyes. "I have cancer! You don't want to marry someone who is dying! You'll regret this Lucas!"

"Brooke, I love you with every fiber of my being. I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Please, marry me." Lucas said, as he took Brooke's hands into his.

"Lucas, you're only doing this because I have cancer and you're feeling sorry for me and you feel like we don't have enough time." Brooke cried, rambling, as she brought her head up to look into his ice blue eyes.

"I am doing this because I love you. And only you. You are it for me Brooke. Just like I'm it for you." Lucas said as he brought his hand up to brush away a few of her tears.

"Lucas..." Brooke said, knowing it was what best. It was better this way, for her and for him. "I can't marry you." His face dropped. "At least not now. If you love me, you'll wait. I don't want to become the next Nathan and Haley." She did it again. Making jokes to cover up her true feelings, another way of protecting herself. He couldn't believe her answer but that wasn't going to change anything.

"Then I will." He said, leaning forward to kiss her tear stained cheeks. "I'll wait." He placed one final kiss on her lips, a small sad smile forming underneath his lips.

------------------------

"Thanks for coming with me Nate." Brooke said as she walked alongside Nathan.

"Not a problem Brooke." He responded, shifting his umbrella from one hand to the other.

They were on their way back from Brooke's doctor's appointment. Lucas had to help his Mom at the cafe, Haley was busy with Michael, and Peyton was spending time with her dad.

"So, 2 questions Davis," Nathan began, "One, why didn't your parents come with you and two, why do we have to walk, especially since it's raining?" He hadn't want to ask these questions on the way to the appointment, knowing Brooke was stressed out enough. So, because she was Brooke, he knew he could get some laughs out of her with these questions.

"Because my parents make me uncomfortable. It's awkward enough with out them there worrying their minds out. And, I like the rain. Plus, we're getting exercise. Ever since basketball ended you've been getting kinda tubby." Brooke answered, poking Nathan in the side with her free hand.

"Really? Cause I haven't had the time to eat with Michael." Nathan said, examining his stomach.

"I'm just kidding Nathan." Brooke laughed.

"Plus, it's not like you need to loose any more weight." Nathan said.

"Ya know, I actually started to get my appetite back before I started back on the chemo." Brooke sighed. It was like she was under the allusion that she really didn't have cancer anymore after the second surgery. She knew there was still a possibility but it was like 1 in 100 right? Well, of course Brooke was just lucky enough to be that 1.

"How ya holdin' up Brooke?" he asked as they finally made their way out of downtown Tree Hill.

"I'm just really tired Nate." Brooke said solemnly. "I'm physically tired and emotionally tired. I can't keep going through all this."

He nodded, feeling sorry for her. He knew she was going through loads of stuff, all while trying to pretend it wasn't fazing her. But it was, he could clearly see it. "So, what's keeping you going?"

She looked up at him, kinda shocked that he was asking. She thought the answer was obvious. "Luke."

"He's good for you." Nathan said, looking over to Brooke who is looking back at him with a smile on her face. He noticed that she does that a lot when they talk about Lucas, smile. It's good to see it on her face after the months that he had to look at her frown.

"So," she was taking a chance here, "he asked me to marry him."

Nathan stopped in his tracks. "Excuse me?" he asked, seemingly disgusted, or maybe it was just the pure shock of it all.

Brooke bit her lip the way she did when she gets nervous and nodded. "At the beach house."

"What did you say?" Nathan questioned and Brooke couldn't help but smile. She loved how big brother Nathan was acting.

"I said no." Nathan just stood there for a moment, keeping a blank look on his face and Brooke can't figure out what he makes of everything.

"What is it with the Scott men?" Nathan mumbled under his breath.

"What?" Brooke asked.

"Nothing." Nathan said shaking his head. "Why'd you say no?"

"Because I don't want him proposing because he thinks he isn't going to get the chance." Brooke said confidently. Little did she know that Nathan was going to rip that away from her.

"Did he propose before or after you got the call?"

Brooke opened her mouth to speak but then closed it. She hadn't really realized that. "Before." she answered sheepishly.

"So as far as he knew you didn't have cancer?" He was starting to get a little tired of guiding them to each other.

"No." Brooke answered. "But that's not the point. I love Lucas, I do. I just can't marry him."

"Why in hell not?" Nathan questioned. "Is he not good enough for you?" He meant it as a joke, but Brooke took it a lot more personally.

"I'm not good enough for him." she answered so quietly that he didn't quiet hear her.

"What?"

"I said, I'm not good enough for him!" she said louder, the hurt evident in her voice.

There she was. Brooke. The same self doubting Brooke that he'd always known. He thought that she had worked past this, especially with her newfound relationship with Lucas, but it was still there. Maybe it'll always be there, but it shouldn't stop her from living. It shouldn't stop her from being with who she wants. It shouldn't run her life.

"You are good enough Brooke. You're smart, beautiful and you're it for him." Nathan said, trying to make her see.

"I'm not that smart, I look like crap, plus it's not like I could ever be prettier than Peyton, and I can't give him kids. What in hell does he see in me?!" Brooke shouted. There it was, her insecurities about Peyton. She really though she'd moved past all of that.

She felt the tears running down her face and she brought her hand up to wipe them away. Nathan walked over to her and enveloped her in a big hug, putting down his umbrella in the process. "I fucking hate this Nathan." she mumbled.

"I know." Nathan said patting her back. He pulled out of the hug and put his hands on her shoulders. "Now listen to me. He loves **you** not Peyton. You need to get over that right now. You list all your faults Brooke but you do realize that Lucas already knows all of them, right? He is still with you, right by your side, despite your weaknesses. Why? Because you are the one he wants to spend his life with. If he proposed to you then it's because he wants to marry you, not because you have cancer. You are a great girl Brooke, everyone sees it except you. So just open you're eyes okay? Stop questioning everything. You're still young and alive Brooke. Live your life the way you should. Happily."

He offered her a smile that she returned with a small one of her own. "You are going to be such an awesome dad."

-----------------------

Lucas woke up to find a cool spot next to him. He felt around for a bit before opening his eyes revealing, nothing. Brooke wasn't next to him. He sat up slowly and looked around the room. She wasn't at his desk, as a matter of fact, she wasn't in the room at all. He looked at the foot of the bed and noticed that the small throw blanket was missing as well. He got out of bed, putting a t-shirt on as well and went over to open his bedroom door. He pocked his head outside and peered into the hallway. There weren't any light son and the only noise he heard was his own breathing. So, he sighed and shut the door, walking to the one that led outside.

He pulled back his blind slightly to see Brooke, wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the steps. "I thought I heard you out here." Lucas said, opening his side door to see Brooke sitting on the porch.

She turned her gaze from the rain to him and offered him a small smile. She wrapped the blanket tighter around her as a big gust of wind washed across them. He left her momentarily to get his Body Shop hoodie. He walked outside, closing the door quietly behind him, before putting on the sweatshirt. he sat down next to her and turned to see what she was looking at.

She wasn't looking at anything inparticular, just the rain as it fell one by one from the sky. "I like it out here." Brooke said after a minute or two of silence. He looked at her again but she wasn't looking at him. "You know, when I was little, my dad used to say that the rain could wash away anyone's troubles, no matter how big or small. Even if it was just for the day, they'd be gone." She shifted again under the blanket that seemed to swallow her. "It's nice to think it will, but it doesn't."

"You should be resting Brooke." he said and she finally looked over at him.

"I'm tired of resting." She was fed up with being tired all the time and taking it easy. Yes, she was tired right then and there, but she wanted to stay up and watch the rain. If that's what she wanted to do then she was going to do it.

"Well will you at least come inside? You're shivering." Lucas said as he noticed Brooke shaking from head to toe.

"I'm not shivering because its cold." Her voice suddenly got more serious. "I'm shivering because I'm scared."

"Well duh. It's 3 in the morning and you're sitting outside during a storm." Lucas said motioning towards the dark wet streets.

"I'm not scared of that. I'm scared of you and our relationship and this stupid cancer."

"What?" She was afraid of him? He couldn't grasp this.

"I just." she stopped to swallow her tears. "I don't see what you see in me. I can't offer you anything."

"I don't need you to offer me anything."

"Well you at least deserve more than what I can give you. I can't give you children Lucas. I can't give you carefree days. I can't give you anything."

"Is that so?" he questioned. "You have given me the happiest days of my life Brooke. You have shared every life altering moment with me and I haven't been this happy in a long long time. You are the only one I want Brooke. I don't care if you can't give me what you think I need. The only thing I need is you." He watched her tears start to fall and he brushed them away with his finger tips before her cheek rested in his palm. "OKay?"

She nodded, finally put at some ease. "Okay." she whispered with a small smile forming on her lips.

"Okay." he whispered back, a smile on his lips as well. He left a quick peck on her lips before standing up. "Are you coming?"

"Give me 5 more minutes." she said, looking back at him.

"Only 5. We have to get up graduation in 3 hours."

"I promise."

-------------------

Brooke took her seat with a huge sigh of relief. It'd been a long day and it was only 10. She had her diploma and she had given her speech. She noticed that the person to her left was fidgeting with her dress underneath her robe and the person to her right didn't look like he was wearing any pants.

'_Must be a friend of Dim's''_ Brooke thought as she returned her attention back to the stage. She was satisfied with her speech. it was nothing special, just stating how awesome high school was and how everyone would miss it and blah blah blah. Basically everything the parent's and teachers wanted to hear. Haley's job was to aim to the students.

"High school, to me," Haley began. She was standing at the podium in her cap and gown, her valedictorian sash displayed proudly on her shoulders. "is supposed to teach us to make the most of the time you have with people. My freshman and sophomore year I spent a lot of great time with my friend Jimmy. By junior year, we didn't talk at all. Then, this year, he killed himself. I never thought of our friendship as something that I had to cherish everyday back then because I always assumed he'd be there the next day. I took him for granted. And then, one day he had me locked in this high school and took his life. He was just gone. I don't hold any resentment or anger towards him because I don't have the right to do that. Instead, I feel sadness and regret, that I let such a good friend slip through the cracks.

In that shooting, I also lost a man I considered an uncle, the man my best friend considered his father, the man that was engaged to a motherly figure to me. I took him for granted as well and I when it happened I couldn't comprehend it. He was there, offering me coffee just that morning and then, I come out of a room and see his dead body laying on the floor next to Jimmy's. In high school, we form these relationships that we expect to last a life time, because well, when you're that awkward little freshman, high school is a life time. 4 long years seeing the same people and same things everyday. And then, graduation comes and it finally hits you that you are no longer going to see the person to your left or right anymore. You have a best friend now, but how many parents here can honestly say they are still best friends with their friend from high school?

A lot of us don't realize this until it's too late. Here we are, in our caps and gowns, wishing we could just have one more day with these people. With your enemy, your crush, your friends, even your teachers. Just one more day to let them all know how much they mean to you. Just one more day to engrave everyone into our minds. But, as we go one to college, or jobs, or whatever everyone has planned, we'll cherish what we have when we have it. I almost lost my husband this year, and for a while, I did think it was too late for us. But here we are now, happily married and we have a beautiful baby boy. So, my message to you, my peers, my friends, is to live everyday like it is the last day you have with the people around you. You never know when it can be taken away from you and you don't want to live with regrets. So, conrats to the class of '07 and I hope that you all achieve the dreams that you have and live life the way you should." Haley finished with a smile and tears in her eyes and the auditorium erupted in applause and shouts and whistling.

Brooke couldn't help but jump up and cheer as well. Haley's speech absolutely floored her and she couldn't help thinking if Nathan had stolen the quote from Haley or if it was the other way around. Either way, it didn't matter. The speech rocked and it finally mad her see the error of her ways. She needed to stop living with all these doubts about Lucas and their relationship. She didn't know if she had much longer and if she didn't she did not want Lucas to be left with the feeling that she didn't truly trust or love him.

And that was when it hit her. She hadn't even realized that Principal Turner had declared them official graduates and that people were already tossing their hats into the air. She made her way clumsily through the sea of people over to the 'S' section to find her blonde boy friend high fiveing his brother and hugging Peyton.

"Lucas!" She shouted breathlessly, trying to be heard over the shouting of the people around her.

He turned to look at her, a huge smile on his face. He walked over to her, dodging falling hats as he did so. '_That has got to be a safety hazard.'_ he thought as he watched Brooke side step a falling hat, her own, he assumed, in her hands as she walked towards him as well. She launched herself into his arms and he wrapped his tightly around her.

"Yes!" she screamed as she pulled out of his embrace.

"Yes what?" he shouted leaning down closer to her.

"Yes I'll marry you!" He definatly heard that one. He looked at her with an 'Are you kidding?' look, but the huge dimpled smile on her face was his answer.

"**YES!**" Lucas shouted at the top of his lungs, picking Brooke up and twirling her around. When he stopped moving, she placed both hands on his cheeks and dipped her head down to his, pulling him into a passionate kiss. Ever so slowly, he placed her back on solid ground, never once breaking the kiss.


	24. Stay

"This is crazy." Brooke said as she turned her gaze to Lucas who squeezed her hand.

"What? Us getting married?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

Like Naley, they hadn't told anyone about what they were doing. They had told their parents that they wanted to have the weekend alone and they had agreed. So, after a big family/friend lunch at the cafe, they took off with a bag for the weekend.

"Yeah. I mean, we're only 18."

"So? Nathan and Haley were 16." He let go of Brooke's hand momentarily to put on his blinker and get off on the desired exit. When they were off the freeway, his hand found hers again.

"So, do we have a plan?" she asked as they combed the streets of Carolina Beach.

"Well, we find a hotel, from there we find a church or City Hall I guess and then get married." Lucas said, realizing that it wasn't a very well thought plan.

"Witnesses?" Brooke asked as Lucas pulled into a nice Bed and Breakfast.

"Um, well... he can be one." Lucas said, pointing to a homeless man digging in a dumpster.

"You want a hobo to be one of our witnesses?" Brooke asked in disbelief.

"You have a better idea?" Lucas asked as he parked the car.

"No, but that's not the point." Brooke said with a smile. "So, since we also need to get a license, I say we check in quickly and then go down to City Hall."

"Sounds like a plan." Lucas said as Brooke let go of his hand and began to open the door. "Hey." He grabbed her hand and she turned back to him, confused as to what was going on. "I love you."

Brooke couldn't help but melt right there. She flashed him her big dimpled smile and leaned into give him a peck on the lips. "I love you too."

---------------------

"Lucas?" Brooke asked from the shower. She looked down at her hand and noticed that a nice chuck of hair laid in it. '_Great.'_ She thought to herself, throwing the hair towards the drain.

"Yeah." he said, wiping the steam from the mirror.

"What am I going to do about insurance?" It hadn't even registered until now. If she got married to Lucas, she'd automatically get taken off of her parents' insurance and she needed that to still get the chemo. Then he'd be taken off his mom's insurance so he wouldn't have any coverage. So not only would they be left with no insurance, but their parents would find out.

"Oh." Lucas said almost dropping his toothbrush. He hadn't really thought about that.

"They're going to find out Lucas." Brooke said, popping her head out of the shower. "My dad is going to kill you!"

"Your dad scares the crap out of me, I'm not going to lie to you Brooke." Lucas said turning around to look at her.

There was no way this was going to work. There was no way they'd be able to convince their parents to do this and help pay for Brooke's chemo. They stood there, staring at each other as if some magical answer would appear until Brooke's cell phone started ringing.

"Who is it?" Brooke asked as she watched Lucas leave the bathroom to go answer her phone.

"It's, uh..." he started to get out as he walked back into the bathroom, phone in hand. "It's your mom."

"What?" Brooke asked frantically. Her head disappeared behind the shower curtain again and Lucas heard the water turn off.

"Do you want me to answer it?" he asked her as the shower curtain flung back to reveal Brooke standing their worried.

"Um..." She was trying to think of what they should do. Should they tell their parents? Should they just not get married? She looked around for a towel not spotting one. "Answer it." she said finally, as she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her.

"Hi Mrs. Davis." Lucas answered almost too happy.

"Lucas." Mrs. Davis said warily, catching on to Lucas' tone. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Um, no. We were just getting ready to leave for dinner." Lucas stammered although he wasn't sure why. It was the truth, they were planning to get some dinner after they got married.

"Can I speak to Brooke?"

"Of course!" Lucas said, thrilled to pass the phone.

"Hey Mom." Brooke answered sheepishly.

"What's going on?" Mrs. Davis questioned, fully aware that something was happening.

"OKay, Mom, you have to promise that you wont say anything until I'm done okay? And that you wont tell dad." She was going to try and reach out to her mom. Hopefully this wasn't going to come back and bite her in the ass.

"What did you do and how much is it going to cost?" She hated to assume like that, but the way Brooke and Lucas were talking, it sounded like and expensive mistake.

"I didn't do anything yet. Now listen okay?" Brooke said sternly. "The reason Lucas and I went away for the weekend was so that we could get..." This was proving to be a lot harder than she thought. Brooke was used to standing up to people and getting her way. She'd definatly done it to her parents before but something now was scaring the crap out of her. Maybe it was because a life actually hung in the balance.

"Get what?" Mrs. Davis asked annoyed.

"Married." Brooke said quietly.

"**Excuse me**?" Mrs. Davis shouted.

"Mom, please listen to me."

"You are 18 years old Brooke! You are not getting married!" Mrs. Davis yelled, cutting Brooke off.

"**Mom**." Brooke shouted, scaring Lucas who had been quietly observing the phone call. "I am 18 years old which means that I can make a decision like this with or without your consent! The only thing I want you to do is help me pay for my chemo. I am capable of paying for my chemo with the money Grandma left me although I'd prefer to use that money for college. So, you can either help me pay or I'll do it myself."

It was silent on the other end of the phone line for a while. Brooke knew that she probably wouldn't use the money for college, she wanted to save it considering her parents were capable of paying her way for college. But, then again, with the cancer, she hadn't really thought about college.

She heard her mother clear her throat, proof that she was still there. "Because I know the chemo hasn't been going well," she stared, "I'll support you with this. Had the circumstances been any different my answer would have been no. I'll only do it on 3 conditions though."

"What are the conditions?"

"One, you tell your father by August. Two, you don't touch the money your grandma gave you unless it is for school or your marriage. Three, you do not get married in City Hall."

She couldn't believe it, her mother was going along with it. "Okay. I promise." Lucas looked at her questionably and she nodded, giving him her big dimpled smile. "I love you Mom."

"I love you too. Have fun." Mrs. Davis sighed before she hung up.

"She agreed! We just have to tell my dad by August and not get married in City Hall." Brooke said as Lucas picked her up, holding her tight.

"Thank god!"

-------------------

They were in the car on the way to the Church they had contacted earlier today when they passed a homeless man on the street.

"What do ya say?" Lucas asked, turning to look at Brooke.

She sighed. "If you can convince him to do it, be my guest." She couldn't believe he was actually going to do this. He pulled up to the man and rolled down his window.

"Um, excuse me? Sir?" The man turned to look at him and walked over. "My girlfriend and I," Lucas started, motioning to Brooke who just waved awkwardly at the man, "are on our way to go get married and we were wondering if you could be one of our witnesses."

"Me?" the man asked, clearly shocked. Although, why wouldn't he be? It's not everyday that some couple asks you to be a witness in their wedding.

"There is 40 bucks and a meal in it for you." Lucas said and with that being said the man nodded his head.

"I'm in."

"Great! Go ahead and get into the back seat." Lucas said and Brooke couldn't help but roll her eyes. He was one crazy man.

"I get to choose the next one." Brooke said as they began driving towards the church once more.

They were a block away from the church when she saw her. "Lucas, pull over. I found our next witness."

Lucas did as he was told and Brooke rolled down her window. "Ruth?" Brooke asked and the woman turned her head. Sure enough, it was Ruth who was walking down the street, 3 shopping bags in her arms.

"Brooke? Is that you?" Ruth asked as she approached the car.

"Hi! What are you doing here?"

"Visiting my daughter. What are you doing here? Wasn't your graduation today?"

"Yeah, it was. Um, Lucas and I are kinda on our way to get married and well, I was wondering if you could be our other witness." Brooke asked in a rush. If they didn't get to the church soon they weren't going to get married today.

"Married? Now?" Ruth asked. They were both so young.

"I understand if you're busy, but it'd mean a lot if someone I knew took part in my wedding." Brooke tried once more.

Ruth looked at her bags and then at Brooke who was using the big puppy dog eyes. "Alright. Only if you drop me off at my daughter's when it's over." Ruth said giving in.

"Of course!" Brooke said, opening the door and helping Ruth with her bags.

"Hello, I'm Ruth." Ruth said, extending her hand to the man sitting next to her.

"Bob." he grunted, shaking her hand.

"It's, um, nice to meet you Bob." Ruth said, trying with all her might not to wrinkle her nose at the man's stench.

The group sat in silence, Ruth trying to scoot a little further away from Bob who was getting a little too close for comfort. Brooke and Lucas just sat in the front, hands clasped tightly together. They were really going to do this.

Needless to say, this wasn't how Brooke had imagined her wedding. She had always imagined this huge wedding at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City to some man that her parents approved of. She would have 6 bridesmaids, Peyton being her maid of honor (although over the years, Peyton had lost and regained that title many times), and they would all be wearing lilac gowns each in a similar yet different style. Her dress would've been designed by Oleg Cassini, her mother's favorite designer. The dress she had envisioned was a white strapless beaded metallic embroidered gown with satin pick skirt and a sash in ivory with a chapel train. Her hair would be pulled back at the nape of her neck in a bun, her veil being nestled on top of it. She would've warn her grandmother's necklace that had been in the family for 10 generations. Her husband to be would be in a black Tommy Hilfiger tux with a satin fullback vest and a matching long black tie.

But her wedding now consisted of one bridesmaid, Ruth, who was wearing a nice pair of pants and a floral top. Her hair was hidden under a wig, the wig's length just bellow her shoulders. She was wearing a white sun dress that she had bought last summer in California that cut off just below her knees. Her husband to be was wearing a pair of slacks and a button up top and his only groomsman was wearing oversized clothes and smelled like death.

Had she been the old Brooke, this would have fully disgusted her and would've jumped ship right then and there. But, she didn't, and she didn't want to. It was crazy how much she loved him. She didn't care that she had asked some homeless man to be in there wedding, that was just how much she loved him.

They pulled up the church, much to Ruth's relief and piled out of the car. "You ready to do this?" Lucas whispered into her ear, lacing his fingers with hers.

"Oh yeah." Brooke responded as she turned and captured his lips in a sweet kiss.

They walked up the small chapel steps, hand in hand, as Ruth and Bob trailed behind them.

"Brooke, Lucas, I was wondering if you were going to show." Reverend Jones said, meeting them all at the chapel doors.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Brooke said, a big smile on her face.

---------------

Brooke and Lucas exited the chapel exactly the way they ahd entered, except this time, Brooke had a ring on her finger.

"_Now, for the rings." Reverend Jones said, looking between the couple._

"_Oh no, we don't..." Brooke started. They hadn't had time to get rings, yet another detail they had over looked. But, she was silenced when Lucas pulled a ring out of his pocket._

_It was gorgeous to say the least. It had 3 marquise diamonds surrounded by other smaller diamonds on a white gold band._

"_Lucas..." Brooke started confused and touched all at the same time._

"_OKay, so I may have told my mom to get the ring." Lucas said with a smirk._

"_You told your mom?" Brooke questioned to which Lucas replied with a simple nod. His mom had gone ballistic, hitting him on the head a few times with the magazine she had had in her hand. But, she agreed despite her own views, to give him his grandmother's ring._

_Reverend Jones cleared his throat and Brooke mumbled a sorry before Lucas slipped the ring on to her finger._

"I feel so bad for not having a ring for you." Brooke said, leaning her head on Lucas' shoulder as they walked.

"We'll get one in time." Lucas said dropping a kiss on top of her head.

"Congratulations you guys." Ruth said as they reached the car.

"Thank you Ruth." Brooke said giving the old woman a hug. "Do you want to get dinner with us?"

"Oh, no. I should be getting to my daughters." Ruth said sliding in to the car.

--------------

"Thanks you guys!" Bob said eagerly, holding his bag of chinese food in his hand, two twenty dollar bill in the other.

"Take care of yourself Bob!" Brooke shouted as Lucas waved. "I can not wait to get back to the hotel."

"Neither can I." Lucas responded, squeezing Brooke's thigh. Brooke slid over in the front seat so that she was up against Lucas' side.

"Ya know?" Brooke started, placing light kisses on Lucas' neck.

"Um... what?" Lucas asked, trying to stay focused on the road.

"I think," Brooke started once more in-between kisses, "I'm going to love being married to you."

"Brooke..." Lucas tried to get out. It was proving more and more difficult to talk with the the kisses being place on his neck, plus one of Brooke's hands had found its way down to his thigh.

"Yes Mr. Scott?" Brooke teased.

"If you want to be married to me for a while then I suggest you stop because I am 2 kisses away from getting us into a car accident."

Brooke just smirked and backed off. "Fine, but as soon as we step into that room you're mine."

------------------

"Oh my god I love you!" Brooke screamed as Lucas fell on top of her. They hadn't left the room in a day and not a lot of sleeping had happened.

Brooke's chest heaved up and down as she tried to regain her breath. One thing that she hadn't lost throughout the chemo was her sex drive, one thing she was sure Lucas was thankful for. Lucas rolled off of Brooke only to be ushered by her to come back and cuddle with her.

He rested his head on her chest and she ran her hand through his short hair. "I am so glad that you cut your hair. It was entirely too long when you were with Peyton."

"Thanks?" Lucas asked more than he said.

"So Mr. Scott, how do you like married life so far?" Brooke said as she moved her hand down to trace the tattoo that was on his shoulder, the tattoo that she knew too well. His hand found her own tattoo and began to outline it with utter perfection.

"I'm loving it Mrs. Scott. Are you?" Lucas asked, finding the scar from her surgeries.

"Very very much." Brooke said before shivering a little under his touch. "Don't touch that Lucas."

"Why not?" he asked, lifting his head up and looking at her.

"Because it just reminds me of what I can't give you." Brooke said wanting to cry.

"Ya know, when I went to go pick you up that morning during junior year to go the doctor, I saw you." he said gently, his fingertips lightly brushing over the scar.

"You saw me?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, talking to your belly." Lucas said, still staring into her eyes. A splash of red spilled on to her cheeks, embarrassed that he had seen that. "Don't be embarrassed. I thought it was the cutest thing in the world. That's when I started feeling really guilty about what I did to you. I couldn't believe that I had hurt the woman who I cared so deeply about, the woman who could've potentially been carrying my child. And the way you talked to your belly," he said, his hand moving to rest on her flat stomach, " I knew you were going to be a incredible mom."

Brooke smiled through the tears that had filled her eyes. She wasn't sure if they were happy tears or sad ones, possibly a combination of both. It hurt her that it was all past tense, but the fact that he was saying these things to her reminded her why she wanted to be with him forever. "Just when I think I can't love you more than I already do." Brooke said, leaning down to give Lucas a short, sweet kiss. "I was actually sad when the doctor told me I wasn't pregnant. How crazy is that?"

"It's not crazy." Lucas replied, resting his head on her chest once more.

"Yes it is. What 16 year old wishes they were pregnant?" Brooke said, bringing her left hand down to rest a top of Lucas'.

"You didn't wish you were pregnant. But if you were, you knew that you would've done the right thing and would've given that baby everything you had." Lucas said, a smile forming on his face when he saw the ring on Brooke's finger.

"There's been something I've been meaning to ask you about." Brooke said after they shared a few minutes of silence.

"And what would it be?" Lucas asked.

"How do you feel about your Mom and Dan?" she asked gently, not sure if she should bring it u now or not.

"To be honest, I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I know he's done all these horrible things to my mom and Keith and Deb and Nate but now... Now he's like this great person. Helping my mom with Madison and being nice to everyone and I just... I don't know where I stand with him. I don't want to call him my father because the last 9 months of him being this good person can't erase Keith. Keith raised me when Dan was no where in site. Keith was going to legally become my dad until _that_ day. Dan can't expect me to just forget about him." Lucas said sounding confused. Brooke just nodded and kept running her fingers over his tattoo.

"I don't thing Dan expects you to forget about Keith. I know Dan is far from being a man, but I think deep down he knows that he can never be your dad. Your father, sure, but your dad? Never. Keith is the only man who was ever your dad. And the only man that will ever have that title." Brooke said gently as Lucas lifted his head up to look at her once more. He offered her a small smile that she returns before he placed another kiss upon her lips.

----------------------------

"We never ate our fortune cookies." Brooke said as she saw the two fortune cookies lying on the dashboard of the car.

"Want to eat them now?" Lucas asked, Brooke already opening hers.

"What the hell? 'Hell is paved with good intentions'." Brooke said, chewing on half of her fortune cookie.

"That was your fortune?" Lucas asked as he opened his own fortune cookie, popping half into his mouth.

"Yeah. Jeez, what crack head company did that fortune come out of?" Brooke said, tossing the fortune into the plastic bag that laid at her feet. "What does yours say?"

'_The one you love will make you weep.'_ Lucas read in his head. '_Not exactly a good omen.'_ "It says 'Good fortune will come your way." Lucas said, tossing the fortune into the bag as well.

"Well that's lame. Those fortune cookies sucked." Brooke said, leaning back in her seat.

"So, are we going to tell our friends about us?" Lucas asked, glancing over at Brooke.

"I think we should let them figure it out for themselves." Brooke said, glancing down at her ring.

"Then that's what we'll do." Lucas said, pulling into a parking space at the doctor's office. "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Brooke said, looking up at the big brick building that she had come to hate.

She hadn't told Lucas that she was slowly getting worse. She had been getting sick more often, getting weaker as the days had gone on. She was thankful that Ruth hadn't mentioned anything. She knew that the chemo wasn't working as well as it should, hell it seemed like it wasn't working at all. Their last night at Carolina Beach had been hell for her. At 2 in the morning she had woken up, drenched in sweat. So, she had gotten up and took a shower where it only got worse. She started coughing uncontrollably, not being able to regain her breath. She ended up vomiting what little food she had in her system, a red tinge to it. With that she broke down and sat down on the bottom of the tub, letting the water wash over her.

She didn't know how much more of this she could take. She was tired of all of it. The doctors, the needles, everything that was supposedly helping her get better. She had already felt like giving up when they told her she still had cancer after the second surgery. The only reason she didn't s because she knew she couldn't do that to Lucas. He meant to much to her to just give up. But she didn't know if she could keep going for him if things got worse.

------------------------

I stongly recomend listening to 'Stay' by Michelle Featherstone right now

"It seems that your body has stopped responding to the treatments Brooke. There is no coming back from this. I am so **unbelievably** sorry, for everything." Dr.Chan said to Brooke who was clutching Lucas's hand.

Lucas looked over at Brooke, his own eyes filled with tears. Brooke's face showed no emotion. She just sat there, seemly staring into space.

"If you continue with the chemo, it will lengthen your life. Some patients choose to go without the chemo and that's an option as well. It's all up to you Brooke. Would you like time to decide what your going to do?" Dr.Chan asked. Brooke barely nodded her head. Dr. Chan took that was a yes and left Brooke and Lucas alone in the room.

It was silent for a while. Neither one choosing to speak, neither one knew how to react to the news. Brooke was dying.

"Lucas," Brooke said breathlessly.

"You have to take it." Lucas said before she could get another word out. "I barely got you back Brooke. I won't loose you again. I can't. You have to take the chemo."

He couldn't loose her. Not like this. Not under these circumstances. It was unfair to her. It was unfair to him. It was already bad enough that Brooke couldn't have kids, that had been hard enough on her. She hadn't even realized how much she wanted kids until she couldn't have them. Now here she was 18 years old, and she couldn't even live to see 19?

"Lucas," she said again, putting her small hand on top of his, the hand that also wore the ring he had given her. "I'm tired." He looked up into her eyes that were now filled with tears. His tears had fallen down his cheeks, hers barley spilling out now. "I can't do it."

"So your giving up?" he asked, his voice cracking as he did so. He didn't want to hear this, couldn't believe he was hearing it.

"Lucas, this has taken so much out of me already. Even with the chemo I get the cancer symptoms. Plus the chemo symptoms." Brooke said, trying to get him to understand. "I don't want my last days or months to be spent over the toilet or in pain. Not any more so than I need to be."

He shook his head. "You're giving up. You're taking the easy way out. You can't do this Brooke. I need you. I can't live without you!" He was breaking down.

"I know. I know." Brooke said, stroking his hand. "And I know you want me to do this but I can't. Do you really want to watch me keep going through this Lucas? Watch me get worse?"

She knew he'd fight with her over this. Tell her to live for him. To take it to spend more time with everyone.

"Brooke." he said standing up only to kneel down in front of her. "If you love me, you'll take the chemo. Please, just do this for me Brooke. I want to have more time with you. I need more time with you. And I know that sounds selfish but I don't care. I need you Brooke."

"That's not fair Lucas." she said, taking her hands away from his. "Don't use that against me." He couldn't use their love as a bargaining chip. It wasn't right.

"Please don't leave me Brooke. Please." he cried, dropping his head into her small lap. He wanted to be strong for her and save her but he couldn't. He never could. He'd broken so many promises that he made to her that he had been determined to keep that last one. To save her.

"I wont leave you Broody." She said, running her hands through his hair as his tears soaked her skirt.

"I love you Brooke. I can't let you go. I want to save you... I promised I'd save you... I promised you it'd get better..." he cried over and over again. She started crying too, more rapidly than before.

"I love you to Broody." she cried, leaving a small kiss upon his head. "You don't need to save me."

"Yes I do. I promised."

"Not all promises are meant to be kept." Brooke said, stroking his head.

"I have to keep at least one of my promises to you Brooke. I've been so shitty to you. I've broken all my promises to you. I need to keep that one!" Lucas cried, looking her in the eye.

"You promised you'd never leave me," she said, taking his chin in her hand, tilting his head up towards her, " you promised to be there for me," she said slowly leaning towards him, "you promised me a family," their eyes started closing simultaneously, "and you promised to love me."

Their lips finally met, sharing a sweet tender kiss that was so full of passion at the same time. Not a goodbye kiss, but a kiss to last them a lifetime.

"You kept all those promises and that's enough for me." Brooke said when they finally broke their kiss, a small dimpled smile playing on her lips. He smiled to, tears still rolling down their cheeks.

I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This whole chapter was pretty happy up until the end huh? Now, I promise there will be good stuff in the next chapter(the last chapter :( ), so please give the next one a chance. The next chapter will take place about 3 months after this one and will be up very soon. Most of it is written except for one scene. Please review, even if they are angry 'I HATE YOU YOU EVIL WHORE' reviews lol.


	25. Now That You're Gone

Hey everyone! Well, this is the FINAL chapter :( it makes me very veyr sad to say that! So, there'll be another a/n at the bottem. I hope you all enjoy!

"Hey you guys!" Haley said, greeting Lucas and Brooke at the door with Michael in her arms.

They had called Nathan and Haley immediately after Brooke's appointment and told them that they were going to be over in an hour and that they had big news. Peyton was over as well, and ecstatic Haley had called her and told her that there was big news to be shared.

Brooke and Lucas walked in to the apartment that their friends lived in and saw Nathan and Peyton on the couch playing NBA Live.

"Hey guys." Peyton said glancing over her shoulder before pausing the game.

"So what's your big news?" Nathan asked, turning his attention to his brother and friend.

"Well, we, uh kinda got a good news, bad news situation." Lucas stuttered out and Brooke crossed her arms over her chest, giving Haley enough time to spot the ring on Brooke's finger.

"OH MY GOD!" Haley yelled, causing Michael, who had been sleeping peacefully in her arms, to wake up. " You got married?!"

Peyton and Nathan immediately looked over at Brooke's hand and saw the ring that laid there. "You guys got married?!" Peyton asked in shock as well.

Nathan just shook his head and smirked. He should've known that's what they were going to do over the weekend.

Nathan walked over and took his screaming son from Haley so that she could hover around Brooke with Peyton. Once he had calmed his son down, he went over to give his brother the knuckle bump. But, he caught sight of Lucas' face. His eyes were swollen and red and then it just kinda clicked.

"You said you had bad news." Nathan said quietly. Lucas just nodded, not being able to speak. He followed Lucas' eyes that were completely focussed on Brooke. "No." he said loudly, already knowing what the bad news was. "No, no, no. You're lying right?"

By now Peyton and Haley had turned to look at him, confused by his actions. He looked over at Brooke, her eyes red and swollen just like Lucas'. "Nathan? What's wrong?" Haley asked concerned.

He ignored Haley's question and walked straight tup to Brooke. "Tell me it's one big joke." he pleaded and before Brooke knew it there were tears in her eyes.

"What's a joke?" Peyton asked, aware that something bad was about to be released.

It was still silent, neither Lucas nor Brooke offering a word. "What is a joke?" Peyton asked more sternly, focussing all her attention on Brooke.

"My...um, my body," Brooke squawked out, trying with all her might to keep back her tears. "re...re...rejected the che...chemo."

"What do you mean your body rejected the chemo?" Haley questioned, only taking her eyes off of Brooke to look at Lucas.

"It's stopped working." Lucas whispered and everyone turned to look at him.

"It stopped working?" Peyton said slowly, as if Lucas were speaking a foreign language.

"I'm dying." Brooke said quickly, finally tearing her tear filled eyes away from Nathan's who had tears in them as well.

"No. You're not. Stop lying." Haley said, laughing a little to try and convince herself that they really were lying.

"Haley." Lucas said, reaching out to touch her, but she turned away.

"Don't. Do not touch me until you tell me that this is some big cruel joke. You can not be dying! You have done everything to stay healthy! You got the chemo, you got the surgeries. You can not still be dying!" Haley yelled, directing it all towards Brooke. "This has to be a joke..."

Peyton hadn't been able to put herself in a denial like Haley had. She had already begun crying, already knowing how this process worked. "Brooke..." had somehow managed to fall out of her mouth, and before she knew it, she was wrapped in Brooke's arms, Brooke patting her back gingerly.

"It has to be a joke Brooke..." Haley cried, and Brooke lifted her head to look at Haley. She ushered her over, and now both Haley and Peyton were in her arms, sobbing.

"It'll be okay you guys." she whispered, although she knew it wasn't going to make them feel any better.

The two brothers looked on at the women in their life. Nathan turned his head to look at Lucas. Crying isn't something men do in front of each other. Let alone in front of their brother. But, Lucas couldn't hold back his tears and let them fall freely, as he saw two stray tears slide down his younger brother's cheek.

-----------------------

"What are you doing?" he asked as he walked into the room he shared with Brooke.

The room had been turned upside down, clothes flung everywhere. But, Brooke wasn't making it messier like she had been known to do in the past. Instead, she was cleaning.

"I'm reorganizing everything." Brooke said as she folded yet another shirt and added it to the pile next to her. His mom had done something similar to this when she was pregnant, a way of nesting he guessed. But, he knew Brooke wasn't nesting, she was getting ready. "Your shirts and pants were mixed together and well, your closet looked like crap."

"That's because I was making room for your clothes." he said, looking over at his closet. He noticed that it was completely redone, and organized by color(and season but he didn't know that yet). He dropped his basketball on the ground as Brooke grabbed a pile of his shirts. "Why exactly are you doing this?" he asked, his eyes still watching her. She closed the drawer that now held his shirts.

"So that you can be organized and know where everything is." she said simply, grabbing a stack of pants and walking back to the dresser.

"Why do I have to know where everything is? Why can't I just ask you?" It'd been a month and he was still sitting in his own little denial.

She slammed the drawer shut before resting her hands on top of the dresser. "Lucas." she said, sounding tired and irritated. She let her shoulders drop before turning around to look at him. "Will you please just stop?"

"Stop what?" he asked, throwing his hands up in confusion.

"Stop acting like I'm not going to die." she said bluntly, hurting him more than she would ever know. She turned away from him and walked back to the bed.

"Damn it Brooke!" he yelled, letting his fist hit the door. The sound was enough to scare anyone but Brooke went unfazed. She just shook her head as she grabbed his tie off of the bed and placed it around her neck. "Will _you_ please stop it?"

"Stop dying Lucas?" she asked in a hostile voice as she began to tie the tie. "Sorry, no can do!"

"I don't get how you can talk like that." Lucas said and she finally looked at him, confused. "You talk about it like you're okay with it! That you're not scared and like you want to die!"

"You think I want this?" she shouted, thoroughly disgusted. "You think I'm okay with this? I'm scared fucking shitless Lucas! I'm doing ALL of this for **you**! I'm organizing everything so that you will be okay when I'm gone! I'm tying this fucking tie for **you** because you can't tie one to save your life! And I keep talking like this because I don't want to sugar coat anything and you turn in to this huge ass who is stuck in depression when I'm dead!" she screamed, tears falling from her eyes. "So can you please get the fuck off of my back and come out of your denial Lucas?"

She had been trying to be strong, to pretend that she was okay with this but she couldn't do it anymore. She was balling and Lucas was crying to and it as just to much. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to yell at you." she mumbled as he walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"No. I'm sorry Brooke, I shouted have assumed. I should have just listened to you. I'm sorry." he cried with her. She lifted her head up to look at him, tears still cascading down her cheeks.

"I really am sorry Lucas." she sniffed.

"I'm sorry too." he said, removing his arm from around her so that he could wipe away her tears. "I love you."

"I love you too." she whispered, leaning back into his chest.

-----------------------

"Broody?" she asked quietly, almost in a whisper. Not because she needed to whisper, but because she was weak. It took a lot out of her everyday. Saying one word took almost half her strength.

"Yes Pretty Girl?" Lucas asked, looking down at the girl in his arms.

"Don't call me that Luke. I'm far from pretty."

He looked at her. Her skin was unbelievably pale. She had bags underneath her eyes, her eyes that had gotten darker everyday. She was wearing oversized sweat pants and his Body Shop hoodie. She looked so small in the clothes, and she was. She was much thinner now. She rarely ate and when she did it didn't stay down for long. Her thin hair laid flat and uncombed on her head. There had been no reason to brush it recently, she figured there was no point, and left it a mess.

And as he looked down at her, in the moment where she looked her worst, he uttered the words that reminded her why she loved him.

"I have never seen you look more beautiful than you do now."

She smiled and leaned into him. "Now," he began, "what were you going to say?"

"Tell me a story." she muttered, her eyes slowly closing.

He nodded, tears forming in his eyes.

"What do you want the story to be about?"

She opened her eyes when he spoke. "Us." He nodded again.

"Do you remember when we first met?" Lucas asked. The more questions he asked the longer he'd have with her.

"Of course. I still have the bra." she said smiling, willing her eyes to stay open.

"And do you remember the time we went to Myrtle Beach?"

She smiled her dimpled smile as she remembered the trip.

"How, half way there, the car broke down and we had to walk 2 miles to the next gas station? And I gave you a piggy back ride the last mile?" Lucas laughed.

"I never knew you had it in you." Brooke chuckled.

"Do you remember how once we got there, we spent the whole day at the beach? From sunrise to sunset?" He needed to keep her here just a bit longer. He wasn't ready to let go yet.

"That was a great day."

"Do you want to know when I realized that I loved you?"

Brooke looked up at him, her eyes seemed a bit brighter.

"It was a Tuesday, right after Winter Formal. I came over to hang out and you were washing dishes. You had the radio playing in the background and I remember how shocked I was when I realized you were singing along to 'Now That You're Gone' and that you knew all of the words. I just stood there, in the doorway, watching you sing, your hips swaying to the music as you washed a few dishes. Then, the song ended and a god awful Ace of Base song came on and you started singing along to that too, until you changed the station. Then, you started singing along to that Sheryl Crow song. And in that moment, I knew I loved you more than I ever thought I could love someone." Lucas said gently.

"I Shall Believe. That was the Sheryl Crow song." Brooke smiled. Her eyes were getting heavier and heavier and she became more and more tired.

"And Ace of Base was cool. 'The Sign' was an awesome song." Brooke managed to get out, which in turn got a laugh out of Lucas.

"Do you remember the night outside my house?" Lucas asked, knowing it was coming but not willing to accept it.

Brooke nodded. "You forgave me Luke. And I'll always love you for that."

"You had to forgive me too Brooke." he said as he felt her body start to go limp. "And I'll always love you for it." His voice cracked as he got out the last word.

"I love you Lucas." she muttered, her eyes closing for the final time.

"I love you too Brooke." he said, holding on to her body tight. He dropped a small kiss on the top of her head. Her eyes were shut now, never to open again.

He chocked back a sob, not allowing himself to cry in front of her. He rocked them gently back and forth, not willing to let them go, let her go. She was too young. She needed to be here.

But, she wasn't.

He wasn't able to save her.

---------------------------

"Lucas?" Peyton asked gently from the door.

He barley turned around to look at her. It was more of a half hearted glance really, not something that could be defined as a look. He had been sitting on the porch swing ever since they had gotten back from the cemetery.

Brooke had been buried 2 plots over from Keith, something that Lucas was silently thankful for. He was staring off into space, not looking anyone in the eye as they came up the walk to tell him how sorry they were.

That was the second time people did that to him. People he didn't even know coming up to him and saying sorry. What the hell were they sorry for? It's not like they really knew Brooke. They were simply coming because they had once known the girl he loves. They didn't know Brooke like he had. **HAD**. Past tense. That's what really hurt.

He felt the swing rock slightly, making him fully aware of Peyton's presence. **Peyton**. Brooke had wanted them to be together. That's why she had pushed them to date. In case this happened.

She put her hand on his shoulder gently, the shoulder that bore the tattoo he got with his pretty girl. **Pretty girl**. She looked a lot like his pretty girl today and that was something that really pained him. Sure, she was still thin and pale looking but she looked so peaceful. So content. And that was all he had been wishing for her ever since _that_ day when the doctor had told her she was going to die. Of course, he had been wishing that she could've achieved that peacefulness and still be there with him. Without realizing it, he flinched under her touch.

"I'm a horrible person." he said almost robotically.

"What?" she asked. The word came out more like a noise fueled by confusion due to the tears that were gracing her cheeks.

"I promised to save her. I promise her that over and over again, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do that one thing." he said, finally looking at Peyton, really looking at her.

She took that one brief moment to survey his appearance. His eyes were swollen, red, and bloodshot from the crying and lack of sleep. His white button up was wrinkled and mis-buttoned, he obviously hadn't put the effort into buttoning it. His slacks were wrinkled as well and pulled up to reveal his mismatched socks. The only put together part of his outfit was his tie. The tie that his Cheery had already tied for him, before she died, but nobody knew that except for him. His expression was sad and angry all at the same time, much like his voice.

"I couldn't save her." he whispered, turning his gaze away from her and bringing his legs up to his chest.

"Are you crazy?" Peyton asked, her voice crisp and clear, unlike how it was not even 5 minutes ago. He turned to look back at her, confused as to what she was going to say. "You think you didn't save her? What was she like when you met her Lucas?" She didn't know why she was getting so angry about this.

He knew what she was like, what everyone called her, but he could never call her that. Not now. "She was a whore Lucas." Peyton said bluntly.

"Don't call her that!" Lucas yelled, his eyes filling with tears.

"She was a whore, sleeping with anything that moved, going out at all hours of the night and getting drunk off her ass." Peyton yelled as Lucas just stared at her with hate in his eyes. He couldn't believe she was saying all these things about the girl who she had called her best friend. On the day of her funeral she was calling her best friend, his wife, a whore.

"But then she met you." Peyton said gently. "She met you and she fell head over heels. She only had one boy in her head and it was you. You were her first real boyfriend, her first love. Her first and her last. She never loved anyone before or after you. Don't you see Luke? You did save her. You saved her from herself. You saved her from becoming some drunk burn out. From the life that her parents had planned for her, rich old husband and all. You saved her because you loved her so god damn much."

Peyton stood up, Lucas' tear clouded eyes following her. "So don't give me that shit Lucas because you're selling yourself short." Peyton wiped away her tears that she hadn't even realized had fallen. She placed her hand on his shoulder once more. "You did save her Luke. Remember that." She placed a light kiss on his head before going back inside, leaving Lucas with his demons.

----------------------

He walked up to the large house with the red door. He walked inside of the empty house. Her parents had moved out last week, not being able to live in the house that only reminded them of their dead daughter. Nobody had lived there since they had moved and that gave him a sense of comfort. Knowing that it was still hers and only hers. He walked over to the kitchen doorway, taking it in. This was where he'd first loved her. He closed his eyes and he could practically hear 'Now That You're Gone' playing.

_I ain't afraid of hurt_

_I've had so much it feels _

_Just like normal to me now_

He opened his eyes again to see Brooke standing over by the sink, washing dishes, and singing softly. She turned around to look at him and smiled.

She looked like old Brooke. Her skin full of color. Her hair tied back in a messy bun. Her eyes are bright and she was smiling the dimpled smile, the one that reached her eyes.

"Hey Broody." she said in a singsong voice.

_I'm alone and I'm dancin', with you now, in your old room, in your old house_

_I'm alone and I'm dancin', with you now, in your old room, but there's nobody there_

_Now that you're gone_

_Now that you're gone_

He blinked and she was gone. He wore sad smile on his face as he walked upstairs in his black suit. The same suit he wore to Keith and Jimmy's funerals. The same one he'd worn to hers barely two hours ago.

He walked into her bedroom and stood in the middle, taking the room in. He'd never realized how small the room actually was. It always seemed so big when Brooke lived in it. Probably because she seemed so big herself, so full of life.

_Everything you ever touched, the fingerprints like_

_Crime scene evidence undisturbed in dust_

_I don't dare touch anything of yours, because it's evidence of us_

_And it means everything_

_Well sort of_

He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, she was standing in front of him.

She wore her bridesmaid dress. She looked exactly like she did at the wedding. She put her arm out, holding her hand out for him to grab. "Dance with me." she said softly.

He placed his hand in hers and pulled her close. She folded into him and he placed his arms around her protectively. They swayed together for a bit until she looked up.

"Do you miss me?" she asked him, sadness evident in her voice.

"Every single day Brooke." Lucas said, trying to remember every inch of her.

"I think that you need to hear my voice right now." She said softly. " Remember it Broody. You won't be able to hear it much longer."

It hit him then. "You knew. At the wedding, you already knew. When we danced you mentioned-"

She cut him off with a kiss. Gentle, yet full of passion. She put all of her into the kiss. He brought her towards him, pouring himself into her as well. He knew what it was, a goodbye kiss of sorts, and he was thankful for it. But, he'd rather have Brooke there with him.

When they broke apart, she put her head on his shoulder, letting the moment sit.

_I'm alone and I'm dancin', with you now, in your old room, in your old house_

_I'm alone and I'm dancin', with you now, in your old room, but there's nobody there_

He closed his eyes, trying to savor the moment, to keep her there with him. But instead, it ended. Once again when he opened his eyes she was gone. He wanted the moment back, cursing himself for being selfish. He knew it wouldn't last, but it had felt like she was there again. Loving him with all of her. Throwing herself into him.

_Now that you're gone_

_Now that you're gone_

_Now that you're gone_

_Now that your gone_

_Gone_

He tried again, closing his eyes, wanting her to appear. But, she didn't. And that's when it really hit him. She's gone and she isn't coming back. She's gone and he can't change it, or save her from it.

He finally allowed himself to cry. To let it all out. For the first time he didn't hold back from her.

_I'm alone and I'm dancin' with you now, in your old room, in your old house_

_I'm alone and I'm dancin' with you now, in your old room, but there's nobody there_

He cried uncontrollably in the middle of the room. Crying because he loves her and crying because she's gone.

He fell to his knees, shaking, he's sobbing so hard. Then he felt Haley's small arms wrap around him, whispering that it'll be all right. She cried with him, even though she can't even fathom the pain that he is feeling. But, one of her best friends is gone, and it makes her dull inside too.

Nathan and Peyton watch the 2 friends from the doorway. Nathan's face is stricken with grief, tears swelling in his eyes. He pushed back the tears, although one escapes and trails down his cheek. He wiped it away with his free hand, the other full with his son's car seat. Nathan needed to be the strong one now. For his brother, for his wife and son and for Peyton.

Peyton wasn't holding anything back. Her face was soaked with tears, her curls messy beyond belief. She'd really lost Brooke this time. There was no more second chances for her, no way she could get her best friend back. And Peyton hated her for that, but mainly, she hated herself. If she hadn't been so selfish, the last 2 years of their friendship would have been happy, no bad memories between them.

They watched as Lucas fell apart in front of them. Unable to do anything. They already knew it wouldn't be all right, that he wouldn't be alright until he was with Brooke again.

_Now that you're gone_

_Now that you're gone, for good _

Yes, I did it! I'm SOOOOO SORRY!!!!!! But I've had it planned for a while now! But, if you would all like to slip into a denial, this is what I have to offer you:

A month after Brooke was todl she was going to die, all her cancer miraculously disappeared, much to her and Lucas' delight. When they both graduated from UNC, Brooke got the first ever uterus transplant(which is in deed possible, I read an article on it) and nine months later gave birth to Wyatt( whom was their Weird Science name sake) and Abilene. They lived happily ever after until they both died in their sleep at the age of 101.

Hope you all enjoyed, I sure as hell did! It's been an amazing ride and I loved sharing it with you all! I hope you all review and tell me what you think, even though I'm sure you all hate me now hehe.

Lyrics- Now That You're Gone by Ryan Adams


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